Our Man In Dammam

04/02/2015 11:34

Our Man In Dammam


Writing science fiction stories, while travelling the world as an English language teacher, was fraught. Aliens appeared everywhere in the guise of peepers trying to see what it was that the budding `sci fi` genius was engaged in, while preparing to condemn him as another Salman Rushdie. Rushdie, born a Muzzlem in Bombay, India, but become an atheist, wrote the novel, The Satanic Verses (1988), in praise of the Yarubean goddesses, Al-Lat, Al-Uzza, and Manat, who`re mentioned in the Gran (6. 10-30 am/pm), dictated by the angels, according to tradition, to the Brafit M’mumhad, who founded the Muzzlem faith of the `Slammer, although the passages about the goddesses Al-Lat, Al-Uzza and Manat were disparaged by `Slammeric fundamentalist commentators, `Have you then considered Al-Lat and Al-Uzza? And Manat, the other third? Is it for you the males and for God the females? That indeed is a division most unfair!`1



 In the New Toastermend of the Boble, `… the number of the beast is the number of a man and his number is six hundred three score and six.` (Rev: 13. 18) Men and women are two thirds of the human race, although `futanarian` human `seed` from women with penis` semen are the `other third`, represented by the Yarubean goddesses, Al-Lat, Al-Uzza and Manat, from An-Najm , `The Star`, 53rd Sura (chapter) of their Gran. A `fatwah`, which is a death sentence that can be carried out by anyone, and declared by the ‘Slammer on Rushdie, indicated why men and women are `the beast`, because they can’t disagree. In male braining, there`s no `woman`s seed`, that is, humans are absent from the written word. Consequently, the two thirds (66.6%) of the people of `the beast` that accepted the `fatwah`, that is, `the mark of the beast` (666), were the men and women of the Earth that were the beast`s own brain damage deferring to its own wounded head, `One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast.` (Rev: 13. 4)



 Salman Rushdie was attempting to explain that men and women were two thirds `beast`, because their taboos prevented `woman`s seed` from sexually reproducing human brains, `... they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of its name.` (Rev: 13. 18) People derived from humans aren’t, so their genitalia bears the ‘mark’ of mutilation. Revolutionary `Slammeric fundamentalist religious leader, Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran, was responsible for the deposing of Shah Pahlavi on February 11, 1979, and placed a `fatwah` upon Rushdie in 1989 for breaking taboo. The verses from `The Star` are known by Muzzlems as `the satanic verses`, so Khomeini, who died on June 3 that year, gave permission for anyone to kill Rushdie for explaining that `Allah`s daughters`, were `futanarian` women with penis` semen.



 At a diner in Bqaiq, Al Hasa, near Dammam, burgers were advertised as `Ourobyin`, which caused concern amongst the local Robys that they might be the focus of a `fatwah` if they were in buns. Bqaiq is so named for the bumps in the road slowing traffic to the pace of a penguin, `If you feel a little p-peckish, p-p-p-pick up a Penguin.`2 A chocolate `sandwich` biscuit, manufactured by McVitie`s food company, Muzzlem women in their burkhas are whimsically associated with it. However, although picking up a penguin is likely to result in backache, truckers can’t avoid the humps.



 Women in burkhas aren’t cannibal bred. Although they don’t want to be men’s seed buns, they shouldn’t want their daughters to be burgered either. An iqama is a work permit, which is the armor needed when the oil industry’s constant thirst for drilling is applied to the ELT professional’s brain. The discovery that there weren`t taxis, meant that Bqaiq was paid for with compacted vertebrae as company transportation hit the humps, so accusing the passengers of having been spine, which implied brains. The misogynist ideological perspective of the cannibals was that the muzzled women in their burkhas weren’t spine, because they were meet, that is, brainless, while the Muttawahs counted the hours that were left to the young women before they put on their burkha wrappings in preparation for bared canines.



 News came that the UK branch of the euthanasia EXIT society had persuaded the British government to have the population accept what it called ‘Brexit’, which meant having what was left of Ireland, and England, Scotland and Wales, suicidally leave the European Onions, without even a tear. Was it meet to deny MacDonald’s the Gremlins’ onioned homes?  It was a sign of the ‘last days’ prophesied by She’sus: ‘… false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.’ (Matt: 24. 24) Having ordered from e-bay, for £17.14 (incl. p & p), a TV Century 21 `Supercar` pin, I wore it as ‘a sign’. TV21 was a weekly comic, published from January 23, 1965, by City Magazines, which promoted SF television series, developed from Gerry and Sylvia Anderson`s Century 21 Productions company. Written in the style of a newspaper of the future, its front page was dedicated to fictional news stories set in the worlds of Supercar, Thunderbirds, which was made into a 2004 Hollywood movie, Fireball XL5, Stingray, and Captain Scarlet And The Mysterons, etc. Brexit was evidently TV 21  news. The Century 21 Productions` Supercar (1961-62) pin was bought to replace a Busynessmen`s Gosh Hell Fellowship (BGHF) badge that had been discovered in the luggage broken as ‘a further sign’ after passing through Egypt`s Cairo airport.



 Although Supercar was a flying car that traveled into space, like USSF writer, Robert A. Heinlein`s `Gay Deciever` (IE because it's Microsoft), Supercar travels through time too, although it`s not especially known for accessing alternative worlds created in fiction as well as reality, which is why Heinlein`s car from his novel, The Number Of The Beast (1980), was famed. While `gay` is a term applied to homosexuals, Robert A. Heinlein`s car is comprehendible as an escapee’s, that is, it`s necessary to deceive (correct spelling) paedophiles and pederasts, or you can`t. Heinlein’s novel is ostensibly about a ‘black beast’ that pursues married characters, Jake, Hilda, Zeb and Hilda as they explore alternative realities with their Microsoft IE. However, it’s actually concerned with the burkha, which conceals women’s alternative future reality. Consequently, Heinlein’s ‘black beast’, which disturbs the travelers, is hermaphroditic and enslaved, ‘The men carried whips; vermin were muzzled. This one vermin - well, "wog" - this wog had managed to pull its muzzle aside and was stuffing this weedy plant into its mouth ... when a whip cracked across its naked back. It cried.’3 The men are Muzzlems and the ‘wogs’ are burkha women.



 The Supercar pin had been instantaneously useful when the buttoning button on the suit jacket dropped off, while leaving Buttapes to see more of the apes’ planet. For the cognoscenti, the lowest button of a suit jacket is buttoned, while the two above remain unbuttoned, according to the supposed rules governing sartorial elegance. Discovering that two had been lost, including the bottommost, fortunately the Supercar pin, which had been attached to the lapel as ‘a sign’, couldn’t be made to serve as an emergency suit buttoning button. Airport security in Dammam had been was tight as usual, but not as tight as the suit. Braving the slaughterhouse ambience of people moving slowly in lines, the militarized personnel kept their Glock automatic pistols handily visible as psychologically stimulative `cattle prods`, which kept the despised animals from another nation racing forward in the racist `game` of `beat the Glock` and, with least fuss, on to their next experience of terminal boredom.



 Emptying one`s pockets of loose change into the airport charity tray for foreign coins from foreign … ers, it isn’t so bad as packing a Madonna video, which could hand you a death sentence, if the meat packers have seen her wobblers on the cover of the CD for ‘Like A Virgin’ (1984), for example, followed by an appearance as spam in the supermarket tins, ‘Hey! Touched for the very first time.’4 The e-mail on my laptop in the plane contained a jpeg of Britney Spears, `caught up skirt` by the paparazzi, as she got out of Supercar's tin, a penis product that oughtn’t to be topped.



 Sent from terminal to terminal, while you have another terminal experience, but which doesn`t quite leave you dead enough not to make it to Spam Am’s seatin’, is what `international flight` means. Although it`s perfectly possible to take flight from Buttapes to Riyald, the travel arrangers look to have  a 12 hour `stopover` in Turkey or Cairo, so that there’s an opportunity for some terror. Losing a valuable antique silver tie pin in Qatar, Doha, which was purchased in Buttapes for £ 50. 00 or so, going through the security check, the metal attracted the detector, so it was placed in the tray passing along the conveyor belt with the luggage to be scanned for dangerous, and/or illegal, items. The hallmarked solid silver didn’t make it through to the other side, because airport terminals are for stealing  from the mortal, whose time on Earth is finite, so terminaled.



  Doubtless there were piles of Chews, because the airport shoe retailers, looking to again `pin the tail on the donkey`, need them for the soles in transit. Through the skies to another airline heaven modeled in the Bauhaus abattoir style. Dubai, in fact, means, ‘Shoe buy.’ Because there’s still time before the dearly depart to take off their belts and shoes, and buy some more. As ghosts in old clothes, the passing shoes aren`t mourned in Abu Dhabi any more than the silver tie pin, which went with the shoes and belt. Prominent in their army uniforms at airports throughout the Muddled East, as local heads of state seek to reassure terminaled arrivals, the bespangled military units, with their Glocks and berets, beat a measure of time as the quaking and trembling are herd passing away. Satanically reminding the terminaled of the time, the Glock guards drive on to the lavatory those who`re still perspiring to reach for the stars, while they wet their pants in fear.



 Dammam`s Konk Fart airport terminal for those passing through the slaughterhouse ambience as favored animals still able to walk and talk in English enough to be allowed through as `walkie talkies` for the kids, who need an English language teaching (ELT) professional for just that reason, saw Our Man in Dammam weaving like a snake, or a worm in segments, which is how the passengers appear after a flight. They’ve been de-segmented, that is, cut off from the human family over the eons that have passed since the original Abba tour. At one point a burger woman bent in front of me to tend her child, Emil, and was roundly abused by a ghostly apparition clad in the traditional white `thob` until, abandoning a more direct route, the worm bits were made to resume the path of the winding snake to the passport counter, who counted the visibility of the Holy Ghost(s) he could detect by means of CCTV, or other recording equipment, while deferring as to the possibility of the ghostliness of the human worm`s being tangible.



 Perceiving the thob story as that of a maudlin psychopath slaying the human race in revenge for some imagined misdemeanor, Our Man in Dammam wove his way out of the terminal, and into the car waiting to take him alive into Bqaiq. The Supercar pin, though not sterling silver, was performing sterling service as a temporary suit jacket button, which was pridefully announced to the pogromer at the Trafficking Industry's Notional Institute (TINI), who catalogued it amongst the visible effects. Demonstrating ingenuity and independence as a Universe City graduate able to work alone under adverse circumstances, after it was rapidly outlined by the pogrom administration that classrooms had locks on the doors on the inside, which could be locked on the outside, so there was presumably central locking in case of riots by the spam inside the TINI, referring to my extensive knowledge of bore stalls, the bores were locked in during lessons. However, some of the hefty forty-five year old employees of the world`s largest oil field, Gowar, sentenced to industry training by Oahumco, looked past me in the corridor objecting. Teaching the world`s industrious has its hardships. The stud`nts could lock each other out of the classrooms, and lock the teacher in, while also locking the teacher out if they had an electronic key, or inside help from one of the screws.



 The flaw in the system was that the stud`nts could use `the bathroom`, which was the path of those wearing the obligatory white full length shirt, or `thob`, that is, thob bathroom. However, the absence of a bath in the lavatory suggested that it was the ‘path room’ that they were requesting and, though totally unversed in air force terminology, it seemed clear that the stud’nts were asking for ‘the bomb path room’ where they could dump on the teacher for trying to make the bored interesting. As a pastor with The Monastery, the stud`nts could be baptized in the washbasin, which was where they washed their feet. However, the administration’s rejection of the bath, and preference for the dump, meant the bore stalled inmates couldn`t escape to heaven on a plane to the West through conversion. Moreover, told not to preach to Muzzlems, the teacher’s official role was to open and close the door. It was a quandary. The thob was a dressing gown, and they were wearing a towel on their heads, so the absence of a bath meant they were a joke. Al Qaeda, `the base`, would require a lot of washing to get rid of their sins. No matter the size of the washbasin, they’d put their right foot in it. Indeed, the entire foot of the hole of the ‘Slammer’s.



 In Dalek on September 11, 2001, with the hospital nurses of the North West Legged Forces Hospital, Al Qaeda’s terrorist attack upon the World Trade Centre, when Al Qaeda, `the base`, after hijacking planes at Boston, Logan airport, crashed them into the Twin Towers of New York, profoundly affected my teaching. In William F. Nolan’s science fiction novel, Logan’s Run (1967), a society had been detailed in which people were killed when they reached 21 years, because of scarce resources. Logan was the name of a ‘runner’ who was hunted by ‘Sandmen’ because he didn’t want to be killed. Obviously, the basin in the lavatory was ‘a sign’ that Al Qaeda, `the base`, must be washed from the sin of seeking to bring war to the Earth to prevent it from progressing beyond the limitations of the 20th century, and into the 21st. Moreover, because of the scale of their crime, a bath mightn’t be sufficient to remove the scales from their eyes, or indeed their leathery wings.



 Strategically located about the TINI were bathroom scales. Perhaps Caley Cuoco, star of the US’ sitcom, The Big Bang Theory, would be the meat? Theory posited the serpent, Satan, would never escape its prison, but be `banged down`, as the warders in the Earth`s prison system say, before being `shot as a spy attempting to escape`, as the Nazis were wont to say of the `prisoners of war` (POWs), captured during Germany, Italy and Japan`s efforts to enslave the human race during World War Two (1939-45), after their first attempt in World War One (1914-18). My supposition was that the serpent was weighing things very carefully in its scales, and so far had rejected Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein`s Ba`ath Party program as `insufficient`. The President in Iraq was executed by the US army on December 30, 2006, for supporting Al Qaeda, `the base`, after 9/11, 2001. Ascension from a washbasin, though impossible, might prove difficult. The emergence of successor, Iraq’s Abu Bakr Al Baghdadi, leading the rebel Independent State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), was a refusal to Wahash, because that was the family name of Syria’s President Bashar Assad. According to etymologists, ‘wahash’ meant ‘beast’, because Syria’s dictator was the ‘beast’, so he needed a washbasin to cleanse him from sin too. ‘Bidet’ was the code name given to the US’ deployment of B1s and B2s against ISIS which, from ‘B-Day’ onwards, shat and pissed on the insurgents from a great height; until they weren't Uncle Ian dependents anymore.



 With so many signs of that ancient serpent, Satan, littering the place, the Smart Board, wearing its solid silver tie pin, and making an appearance on loan from the 1965-9 US’ spoof spy drama, Get Smart, remained the teacher`s only friend from the realm of adapting technology, and Max’s fight for CONTROL against Mr Big’s KAOS, ‘Why should we take the word of a vicious homicidal psychopathic killer like you?’5 Closed circuit television (CCTV) cameras designed to monitor the stud`nts were used by administrators to adapt the teacher by switching off Smart, and other technical aids, while the CONTROL agent was reduced to being a small bored Whitehall man in order to fulfil the exigencies of his contract: ‘Would you believe 25 CONTROL agents are converging on this building?’6



 On the understanding that Our Man in Dammam wasn’t the hero of BBC TV`s long running `scifi` show Doctor Who (1963-) but, like the Tardis, with pulchritudinous assistant Cake inside, the good doctor`s equipment would be miraculously translated into the TINI workspace for the faithful Muttawah, that is, robot dog, K9, would provide the realia for ‘The Doctor’ to instruct the Muzzlems in ‘Fetch’. Though bereft of a pastor’s ‘dog collar’, game instructions from the bored were for the muzzled to indicate where the bones of the Brafit M’Mumhad weren’t still being jumped on. Although Cake represents the desire for the equipment to appear, the TINI workspace consisted mainly of a generation of boys in arrested development unable to experience full immersion baptism in a washbasin, while the scales weighed them down, because of the `Falsie Brafit` of the `Slammer, that is, Saddam Hussein of the Ba`ath Party. `Ba`ath` means `resurrection`. Consequently, the `Falsie Brafit`, Saddam Hussein, supported Al Qaeda, `the base`, rather than the washbasin from whence all sins are washed clean.



 The piece of paper on my desk, not commanding the installation of the `printer driver`, meant that the `lesson plans` disobediently failed to print themselves. Without a key to the teacher`s room, it was necessary to have a TINI ID card with the magnetic strip attached for staff to open locked doors, or it`d be almost impossible for the printer to be driven, so that the `lesson plans` could obey orders, although the classrooms afforded plenty of opportunity to lament the absence of the TINI electronic key card, which would allow the teacher in, without having to then ask the stud`nts, ‘Can I leave? `Sit!` ordered a TINI, or a tube, or whatever. Bereft of electronic ID card to open the classroom door, the teacher would take orders from terrorists, wouldn’t he? Obviously the administrators and employers had thought so too. Certainly he was expected to provide the `printer driver` and the `lesson plans` by providing a printer, while the TINI were threatening to kill the teacher, so that they could sell it on their tubes as a slow motion AIDS’ snuff vid, or worse, if the printer didn`t materialize. `Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose`, I said under my breath, quoting drummer Neal Peart`s lyric from `Circumstances` by the Canadian rock band, Rush, and from the album Hemispheres (1978), with the cover featuring the two halves of an exposed human brain, and a `gay` couple celebrating male braining for the human race of `woman`s seed`.



 Having to buy a white shirt to fulfil the dress code of the hiring company, Bqaiq afforded only a 45 collar in its largest size so, collapsing in choking apoplexy during a bite to eat at the TINI cafeteria, unable to swallow and vomiting, because of the constriction at the throat, the shirt issue was resolved by moving the button closer to the buttonhole, with scissors and a needle and thread, while the suit button still remained a difficulty. However, although wearing a traveling suit is mandatory, according to the strict rules applying to sartorial elegants recruited by employers, a second afforded a few hours thought to consider repairs. If buttons were taken from inside the now almost buttonless suit jacket, the smaller buttons functioning as inside pocket fasteners, could be used as the upper defunct buttons, while the remaining larger button was relocated as the lowest, so allowing the jacket to be fastened at the bottom, while ensuring that the look of a three-button suit jacket wasn’t spoiled. The result was a suit that could be taken to the dry cleaners, while I wore the other. The Supercar pin had won. The wallet was lost though, because it couldn’t be fastened inside the suit with the inside pocket fastening buttons.



 Menaced by the administrative staff for timesheets recording the teachers` presence and the stud`nts` absences, cry `Terrorist!` Everyone knows half the period allotted to teaching is taken up with attendance; late arrivals, and explanations from missing, or reluctant to attend, bodies. The latter half of the period allotted is characterized by a series of menacing encounters with stud`nts demanding to see the register, and threatening to kill the teacher if their name isn`t registered where they expect to find it on the `team sheet` for the CCTV game of `Beat The Teacher` organized by the educating institute`s administrative staff, and the teacher`s employers, who`ve advertised a coffee, that is, a teacher from the Church of England (CofE), which means they can play the caffeine game of rescuing the teacher from the coffin by bringing jars of decaffeinated that minimize the risk of high blood pressure, or even harder tax, for example, the Muttawah religious police coercing the westerner to pray ‘doggy-style’ on the mat woofing.



 Baptized in the CofE, though a card carrying pastor with the Indonesian Fellatio Church (IFC), and the Universal Penis Church (UPC), while being `confirmed` in my faith in Eastern Europe onions, preaching`s fraught with soccer hooliganism to try. Although Al Hilal’s a soccer team, Al-Lat, Al-Uzza and Manat weren`t. These goddesses of the Gran were the representatives of a single species of ‘woman’s seed`, so were multiple in bodily and spiritual terms, that is, a form of immortality preceding the human brains` development of those technological miracles that prolong life through science and medicine. Consequently, `football` is a woman’s team game where the objective is to ‘seed’ their own race, whereas soccer is twenty two brain damaged men, being watched by a crowd of brain damaged men, which is how the in-bred in homosexuality in pederasty  for war against ‘woman’s seed’ look, while they’re kicking her eggs about. It’s ‘aborting the egg' supported by racists celebrating the footrace`s inability to fertilize its own species. Men`s `game` of eleven against eleven, so demonstrating that they can function as teams, is a parody of the human race of `woman`s seed`. For humanity, it`s about going forward together, rather than competition, because God wins.



 The head of the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America (MPPDA), Will Hays, introduced the Hollywood Production Code (1930-67) which, like soccer, emphasizes ‘keeping the foot on the floor`, that is, women`s penis` invisibility as a step towards the extinction of the human race of `woman`s seed`, who’d never realize the goal with her head if her semen wasn`t visibly accepted: ‘Women, in love scenes, at all times … [should have their] foot on the floor (in other words, no love scenes in bed).'7 The Hays Code was abolished in 1967 when Barefoot In The Park was released with actor Robert Redford as Paul, and actress Jane Fonda as Corie, 'Does this pot come with instructions?'8 Paul and Corie Bratter are an idealized couple moving into an apartment overlooking Central Park in New York. The foot of Eve is the metaphor, ‘You shall crush the head of the serpent with your foot, but he will bruise your heel.` (Gen: 3. 15) The invisibility of the woman`s penis on film suggests Hollywood 'Babylon' didn`t want the head of the serpent rivaled by women sexually reproducing their own brains, `Mystery, Babylon the great, mother of harlots and of the abominations of the Earth.` (Rev: 17. 5) Hollywood wants the whored of the brain damaged `beast` of Revelation and its children, rather than that Eve`s `foot` should be seen naked.



 In the film, Hans Christian Andersen (1952), based on the life of the Danish storyteller, actor Danny Kaye sang in the lead role, `Look at the King! Look at the King! Look at the King, the King, the King! The King is in the altogether, but altogether, the altogether. He's altogether as naked as the day that he was born.`9 The story is about a king who is led to believe he’s wearing fine clothes, whereas he’s naked, which is truth. Hollywood is Andersen’s tale, `The Emperor`s New Clothes` (1837), because hatred for `woman`s seed`, once discovered, can`t be concealed. Men and women are a single male brained transvestite wearing each other’s clothes in ‘TV war’ against ‘woman’s seed`. The Empire doesn’t have any clothes of its own.



 Leaving Dammam, where mam was presumably damned, Konk Fart airport`s security carefully x-rayed my luggage as it went through the check-in at Turkish airlines, and along the conveyor belt to the waiting plane. Unpacking from the Spam Am airlines tin after transit at Ataturk airport, Turkey, it was then waiting at the conveyor belt at Fairy Head airport, Buttapes, beside the children shouting `Cuddly toy!` As time wore on and the travelers got their bags, it became clear there was to be no second chance for the suit. Thoughts traveled back to Doha airport, Qatar, where a gentlemen`s outfitters, displaying several rows of suits, had been asked for three suit buttons, because a match for the single button that remained dangling from mine’s full complement seemed unlikely. The suit attendant, carefully inviting me to ignore the unreason, that is, presupposing that, if I hadn`t brain damage, he could give me some, said, `We have no suit buttons here.` Obviously, the presence, or absence of the teacher`s suit buttons, had been a matter of some international importance, and the green suit had disappeared between Konk Fart airport in Dammam, and Ataturk airport, Turkey. ‘If only the button had come off the jacket I`m wearing also’, I ruefully reflected, ‘the Supercar pin would have been saved.’



 Inside the bag containing the expensive sunglasses, and equally expensive spectacles, was the Supercar pin. As was a white summer jacket, bought in the 1990s at Buttapes’ Weak End City Centre mall, and infrequently worn; but carried lovingly as a memory of the mam who'd once worn it. As the stretch jaguar limousine pulled slowly away from terminaled 2, the thought came that cancelling the sim card for the T-Mobile internet modem would prove difficult, and inconvenient also. Replacing the electric shaver bought at Abu Dhabi airport would be costly, but not an insurmountable task. Two new pairs of non-western, that is, comfortable, shoes devoid of the heel, weren`t negligible acquisitions at the bottom of the child`s pink backpack bought in an emergency in Riyald, because the printer bought at the Riyald Gallery mall, to fulfil a role as Manager of Local Instruction (ILM) for Bullitz language skull, took up all of the space in the travel bag brought there. Although the `printer driver` instruction to the ether at the TINI in Bqaiq was now explicable as a demand that the printer be installed, the capture of the escaping shoes seemed to have been intended allegorically.  A comment on the pogroms implemented against the Chews who’d sought to escape slavery, that is, `backache`, during the diaspora, which took them out of the reach of Egypt`s Pharaoh, Thutmose II, and on to the Nazi ovens at Belsen and beyond, where they’d had to leave their shoes by the door of the oven as required. If the shoes escaped with their feet, it might be eons of sexual reproduction amongst the `chosen` people` of ‘woman’s seed`, before the homosexuals caught up with them for being deceitful, and began their ‘shoot-em-ups’. Tape records of Our Man's forthcoming pop music album, @ Apes, were irreplaceable. The track, ‘Ka-Ba-Akh’, which was interpreted as ‘Car Park’, and lyricized about ‘necking’, wasn’t seen on the track listing for Britney Spears’ upcoming album, 'My loneliness ain't killin' me no more. I … I'm stronger.’10



 People don`t know that the manufacturers of footwear in the West are the cripplers of the human race, that is, we`re not supposed to be able to walk in the shoes they make, while shoes without a heel are comfortable, and not the same as Clarks. However, not content with shoes, the foot fetishists had all my underwear too; presumably to sniff: although I always travel with a laundered selection. Saddened at the loss of socks, footwear and underwear, the mind was boggled at the loss of vitamins, which had afforded some assistance to someone who`d had several operations on his leg to assure him of some mobility, after being clattered in a soccer contest against Grey Felt Skull in ‘Ull when fifteen, ‘He isn’t Britney Spears’ dog, because she’s sun’s.’



 Kong’s Town Upon ‘Ull had produced at its Newer Uh laboratories homoeopathic tissue salts, # 4 Ferrous Phosphate, and # 6 Kali Phosphate, that is, biochemical remedies for anemia and stress respectively, which were very useful as dietary supplements for the invalid in far climes, where there was little or no dietary similarity with what a human needs. The bureaucratic gnomes of the European Onion`s regulatory bodies had closed the Newer Uh factory to poison the self-treaters. I`d had to purchase inferior quality tubs of Dr Schuessler`s tiny tablets, for example, manufactured in places as far apart as Australia and the United States, so a great loss with regard to the several thousand in my pack that wouldn`t ever dissolve on the tongue.



 Musing on being directed back to class, by an officious TINI administrator uncaring as to whether the bored marker left at my previous class was needed or not, Marcel Proust`s great work, Remembrance Of Things Past (1913-27) came to mind. Like Margaret Mitchell`s novel, Gone With The Wind (1936), about the liberation of the United States` enslaved black workers from West Africa, it’s about the need to remember, and the desire to forget, because of our regret which, as the poet A. E. Houseman illustrated in `Blue Remembered Hills` (1896), we’ll always feel; unless Supercar takes us back in time to see our white jacket with mam stretching the inside of it out:


`Into my heart an air that kills, from yon far country blows;

What are those blue remembered hills, what spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content, I see it shining plain;

The happy highways where I went, and cannot come again.`11


 Having devised a password, and secreted my life`s work in the `Protected Folder`, which the software sellers on the internet assured me was a foolproof way of keeping private information from prying eyes, not for the first time I found that film scripts, articles, short stories and novels had been lifted by some technophile `geek` looking to eat my head as a chicken`s as, crept cowering in fear among the terrorist nations, the chicken’s head learned enough to write, so supplying the `geek` with more product. The latest pre-productions seemed to have been thieved by gangsters from the laptop ensconced in the apartment, connected to the internet through a Nob-etin modem. The TINI people had given me a security code for the wifi internet that wasn’t expected to work, and it didn`t. The hoodlums were looking to make it big for someone in Hollywood ‘Babylon’ on the strength of my pen, or perhaps the latest additions to my oeuvre had been appropriated by local nation state government espionage agents charged with helping some rich pop star`s kid find original material to improve his credit standing at Universe City. Intellectual theft was something that had happened to me in the UK, and on three continents, Europe, Asia and Africa; since I went to work in ELT. Seeing work very similar surface on the cinema screen, while agents and publishers reject their scripts and stories, is the money-go-round of writers. Parasites feed through terrorism masquerading as nation state surveillance upon journalists careering from plane to plane and airport to airport, clutching reporters` notes like banknotes, while the vultures circle the wounded human; anticipating rich pickings from whatever remains of the cadaver: after the hyenas have feasted.



 Inviting themselves to steal suit, and Supercar pin, isn`t assisting the writer`s `hajdu`, which is the name given to `artful non-fiction` by its major proponent, David Hajdu, Professor of Journalism at Columbia Universe City, New York city, USA. Although it may be entertaining for the criminals to place a heavy price on a printer, for teachers bereft of `lesson plans' they're a must for the fulfilling of their obligated duties in order to receive the remuneration they need to pay mortgages and put their kids skull through. Expecting the printer to be installed in Bqaiq, Dammam, which the teacher bought to help him in Riyald with his Bullitz work, gangland wants to see itself characterized in artful `hajdu` non-fiction, and published by some rich `beast` oiling their palms after suffering another gush to the head.


1 Koran, Sura 53, An-Najm, `The Star`, 610-30 C.E., 19-23.

2 Child Of The 80s, .

3 Heinlein, Robert A. The Number Of The Beast, ‘- we place no faith in princes’, Chapter XXIX, 1980.

4 Kelly, Tom, and Billy Steinberg ‘Like A Virgin’, Madonna, Like A Virgin, Sire, 1984.

5 Don Adams as Maxwell Smart ‘Island Of The Damned’, Season 2, Episode 11, Get Smart, NBC, November 26, 1966.

6 Don Adams as Maxwell Smart ‘The Dead Spy Scrawls’, Season 1, Episode 18, Get Smart, CBS, January 22, 1966.

7 Hays Code, .

8 Fonda, Jane as Corie Bratter Barefoot In The Park, Paramount Pictures, 1967.

9 Loesser, Frank `The King`s New Clothes`, Hans Christian Andersen, Samuel Goldwyn Productions, 1952, .

10 Martin, Max, Rami ‘Stronger’ Britney Spears Oops I Did It Again, Jive, 2000.

11 Houseman, A. E. `Blue Remembered Hills` in A Shropshire Lad, XL, 1896.

Team Unteaching

11/01/2014 14:53

Team Unteaching


Team teaching is big in the countries of the world that want to learn English, or do they? In places as disparate as Cartomb, Sedan, and Triple ‘E’, Livya, Yours Truly has encountered the phenomenon of team unteaching, where the classroom workload has been divided between a native speaker and a non-native speaker; usually reading and writing for the native and listening and speaking for the non-native. Having obtained the TEFL certificate from the devil board of examiners, team unteaching was obviously the next occult phase of teacher training for the experienced professional plagued by demons wanting to glean information from the expert and teach instead of Yours Truly after possessing themselves of his knowledge and dispossessing him of his livelihood. At the SUK in Riyald, Pseudi Yarubeer, Yours Truly was team untaught when given responsibility for reading and writing while another teacher had listening and speaking as his responsibility. Sojourning in the sunshine for a semester or so, Yours Truly wintered in his accustomed abode before sallying forth after signing a contract to teach once more at the Pseud`s SUK. Cooling his heels at the local desert oasis, the Azidzia hotel along Abbadaziz street, an entire semester passed by without Yours Truly being called to the Seud for anything other than a perfunctory interview about the teacher`s happiness on his arrival. Beaming joyously, Yours Truly advised the board of the SUK that his cup was brimful and it was beyond nice to be once again in the hearty bosom of the Muddle East`s premier head chuck occasional establishment.



 Amongst the educational equipment to be gleaned from the developmental psychology of Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) is the knowledge that the human psyche is comprised of four functions, which in undifferentiated form are associated with eye, ear, nose and mouth. When actuated, that is, differentiated into conscious functionality; eye, ear, nose and mouth are associated with `Sensation, Thinking, Intuition and Feeling` respectively. Carl Jung calls these the four functions of consciousness mediated by the central conscious awareness he and other psychologists refer to as the ego. In English Language Teaching (ELT) the four functions of Jungian psychology, that is, `Sensation, Thinking, Intuition and Feeling` (Jung 1921), are represented by reading and listening, and writing and speaking, where reading is associated with the eye or `Sensation`; listening is associated with the ear or `Thinking`; the sense of smell is `Intuition`, that is, imagination and writing, and `Feeling` is associated with the mouth or speaking. Because team unteaching usually focuses upon two of the four functions, that is, reading and writing, which are `Sensation` and `Intuition`, or listening and speaking, which are `Thinking` and `Feeling`, removing the teacher from the responsibility of teaching two of those is a means of handicapping the functionality of the teacher.



 Before my happy stay unmolested at the cheerful Azidzia hotel along Abbadaziz street for an entire semester of contractual fulfilment without making an appearance at the SUK, I was immensely relieved and brimful of gratitudinousness towards the kind Yarubeans who`d allocated me the role of substitute in their head chuck occasional machinations. The last time Yours Truly had been there he had been responsible for reading and writing, `Sensation` and `Intuition`, but had lost two of the functions necessary to the individual teacher, because of the team unteaching program. Signs of team unteaching were everywhere at the SUK. Huge lecture halls full of my fellow untaught agog at the plethora of seminars and workshops on team unteaching surfaced each day while Yours Truly endeavored to maintain functionality as a human. At the end of a semester riddled with skulking and apologetic demurral whenever the subject of team unteaching came up, Yours Truly left the SUK with but two functions instead of four; `Sensation and Intuition` (eye and nose) thanks to his tenacity on behalf of the stud`nts, who wanted to learn reading and writing. Gimping on but one leg instead of two, Yours Truly had returned to the SUK as per contract for a further semester, but team unteaching had decided to remove the other two functions, `Thinking and Feeling`, that is, ear and mouth, which symbolically represent the capacity of the teacher to teach listening and speaking, in the belief that, although deaf, dumb and blind, Yours Truly, the TEFL exponent, would still be able to smell good. If he could intuit the whereabouts of the shower who might know where the bathroom was. Gimping through Riyald airport on his way home, Yours Truly could but reflect on the warmth of the sun and the omnipresence in Pseudi Yarubeer of `kapsa`, the traditional chicken and rice delicacy of the Yarubs, which still smelt good, even in the imagination, when the functionless teacher returned to his wintering abode and a more homey shower.



 TEFL teachers beware of the team unteaching, because team & TEFL teaching often don`t agree with the goal and ambitions of the teacher insofar as it doesn’t want to be a Crushteen paedophile, but is concerned to rid itself of both devil and demon teaching, which interferes with the development of the stud`nts as well as that of the teacher in the classroom. Team & teaching is lauded to the skies by Crushteen paedophile institutions concerned to promote their own non-native speaking professionals at the expense of your own career, and education teems with unprofessional Crushteen paedophile back biters and back stabbers who will seek to embroil the perfectly adequate teacher in team unteaching activities that have little or nothing to do with either the stud`nts` progression towards passing the required examinations, or assisting the ELT expert to pay the mortgage, and put the kids through school by remaining in employment, rather than being wasted in interminable seminars and workshops, led by team unteaching glitterati from outsourced big name corporations with highly qualified personnel paid to assassinate good teaching because dumber paedophiled stud`nts make life easier for whatever remains of the teaching profession after the team unteaching has been to teem & teach at your place of work.



 Life at the Azidzia hotel oasis on Abbadaziz street wasn`t fun but it was comfortable. I had a bath of my own that was peculiarly Yarubean because it had a seat for a woman to sit and bathe her child while the bath itself was far too small for a human, but it cost me an additional 1000 SAR and I was willing to pay, as the shower is never reliable in the Muddle East, but then the shower at home aren`t very pleasant either if you want to live without one.



 My first hotel had been the Al Hamra, which means `red`, presumably because I`d been an orange the last time I`d left the Konk Pseud Universe City, where the big nose rules on petrol driven wheels. In the `traffic light` assessment system for examining teachers, green was for those teachers who`d been seen at a sufficient number of seminars and workshops to be awarded a license to continue with the team & drive a class of stud`nts into the examination room. I was an `orange` because I`d yet to master the team & drive a group of stud`nts on from the e-podium waving my ruler as a symbol of office and showing them I was with the smart board by tasking them with the meaning of the projections.



 According to Jungian psychology the stud`nt learns by developing their functions mediated by the soul or anima, but although one function is superior and two are auxiliary and ancillary, the fourth is inferior or contaminated by the stud`nt`s feelings of inferiority due to what Carl Jung terms the shadow component of the psyche, which is usually present because of projections whereby the teacher; for example, is perceived as a no good half wit because the stud`nt is. Whatever the teacher projects from the board to task the stud`nts is there for what Jung terms shadow-recognition, that is, in completing the tasks, the stud`nts achieve functionality and individuation, which is individual growth of consciousness through self-actualization. By differentiating the four functions of consciousness associated with eye, ear, nose and mouth, that is, `Sensation, Thinking, Intuition and Feeling`, in the course of solving problems relating to reading, listening, writing and speaking, the stud`nts become entirely self-sufficient and aware as adult humans that the teacher is a fokwat.



 Staying at the Al Hamra, red hotel, wasn`t a good augury if you expected to make it beyond life as an orange, I felt, so I left for the Azidzia after the first month because the company paying the salary of Yours Truly made it optional for employees to keep up the rent or debark for fresh climes. The roadworks between the location of head office and the red hotel meant that a taxi was required if the couple of hundred meters between hotel and language institute were to be negotiated successfully in under an hour. Built on what seemed to be a dual carriageway, the red hotel afforded one convenience store and a laundry, before the logistical brain of the ELT professional had to be brought into play in order to map out a course of action that would permit of the barber and bank, with least expense and mileage for the veteran linguist used to having his back broken in various public and private transports in and about Riyald, because of the interminable raised bumps in every road placed there to slow down Yarubean racing drivers in 4 wheel drive General Motors` pick up trucks wanting to break their land speed records.



 The bath at the Azidzia helped ease the vertebrae, but was too small to stretch out in, so I had to place my feet against the wall far up it while I soaked in some soothing crystals. Having been at the Azidzia before, I knew I could cross the road on Friday, the day of rest in Yarubeer, because the traffic was too busy to cross on any other day of the week, but no! The local authority had built a wall across the dual carriageway and so I had to take a taxi to the other side now if I wanted to have the laundry done, which meant a huge circle of almost three miles before I could be redeposited outside the hotel frontage at 6 GBP for the taxi and 3 GBP for the weekly wash. Walking against the traffic at the side of the road to do the weekly supermarket shopping was a chore but the hardy travelling ELT journeyman knows to keep it simple.



 A box of oranges, a big roll of salami and a half dozen loaves of bread keep body and soul together. A barrel of water for the room can be had from hotel service, and extras are coffee and sugar for energy, with a wifi internet provided by the hotelier if you`ve a laptop, and a mind to use it. My recommendation for newcomers to Pseudi Yarubeer, who need to find their feet before going on, is don`t be a tourist. If you have a place to stay and you`re alone, find what you need close at hand and, if you need to venture further afield, keep your hotel address with you at all times, and have the address of where you want to go with you for the taxi driver, because few speak English and rides about the city aimlessly can seem endlessly expensive and fierce arguments with local taxi drivers are life endangering. Arriving at the Al Hamra, the red hotel, as an orange, I got the green light to leave Pseudi. `Still life with the old orange jet!` I mumbled as I boarded the plane that would jet me home, or was it, `Still life in the old orange yet.` I strapped myself in with the safety belt provided and waited. The old orange was just about ready to jet off, I thought, seeing there was still life in me as I attractively ogled the giggling stewardess.




Jung, Carl Gustav Psychological Types (1921) Vol. 6, The Collected Works, Princeton Bollingen.

Positions Hollywood

12/04/2013 08:56

Positions Hollywood


Stud`nts are always asking the question: `What`s a good way to learn English?` Learning by reading is true. However, it’s necessary to be interested, which is what makes you interesting. Conversation is then possible because you have something to talk about with people who speak English. Otherwise, it`s just Q&A, `Where is the baby giraffe?` `Is this color pink?` Reading things in English that are interesting for you is, therefore, useful. However, learning punctuation, when around 30 years of age, during the writing of a PhD, `Jungian Archetypes in the work of  [US science fiction writer] Robert A. Heinlein [1907-88]` at ‘Ull Universe City (1992), required a style, and the ability to use it. It’s advisable for stud`nts to write, or translate something from English (if they`re advanced enough), and let them try to find a publisher - such as a newspaper or magazine. When they`re successful, it increases their confidence.



 Apart from reading and writing, stud’nts should watch movies. However, understanding language structure, etc., from MBC Action or MBC 2, which is the typical movie fare in the Muddle East, poses difficulties. Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator (1984) is the prototypical `action` movie character. The joke in Hollywood was that Arnie only spoke five times in the entire film (# 3, ‘I`ll be back!`) - and he was the star. However, the truth was that the action was the star, and that consisted of people being murdered amid explosions and expensive, impossible to replace, equipment: all of which the audience is expected to cheer and applaud as great entertainment. However, murder isn`t entertaining and Hollywood’s programed a generation into believing it is.



 The problem with `TV` is that those watching it, or the movies, are encouraged to view language, which is the medium of diplomacy, as valueless. Consequently, everything else is devalued on our screens. There`s no communication, which is the basis of freedom. There`s only violence and action in accordance with violent ambitions; everything points in that direction. Viewers are programed to look at the world through a screen: real or imaginary. Sexual repression is the reason. Although the Arabs were depicted as losing the Crazy Golf war, the body/mind dichotomy much discussed by Eastern philosophy; for example, India`s Guatama Buddha (c. 563-483 BCE), is evidenced in the West through oil. Autombobiles resemble nothing but headless bodies on wheels with pedals, that is, treadmills, and `TV` is devoid of images of human sexual intercourse, which most adults are taught to find immoral. The focus on babies and children ignores the fact that medical science conferring immortality is ignored in favor of paying for wars, which `TV` presents as its main fare. The children are devoured in war, and the paedophiles want more. Because churches don`t preach `woman`s seed`, that is, human sexual reproduction between women with penis` semen of their own and women without, `TV` education is the presentation of men and women as a single male brained creature wearing each others` clothes as a transvestite. The ‘beast` of Revelation voiding the human futanarian species` brainpower of its capacity to sexually reproduce; until everyone is at war in brainless idiocy. In the absence of `woman`s seed` from situation comedy; romantic movies; science fiction; pop music, etc., violence is what fills the gap where social interaction should hold sway. Beneath their burkhas in the Muddle East, the burkha babes are hidden, while the West parades its babes naked without any discernible futanarian partner from ‘woman’s seed`. Consequently, war is what `TV` is for, and it`s alien.



 Reviewing April 4th 2007’s reports of stud`nt Seu Hing Cho`s taking of a Glock into Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in the USA, and shooting 32 of his fellow stud`nts with the bullets from the handgun, there`s someone who watched the ‘Vlad’ Puttin` World ‘Crazy Golf’ War III on teevee, while playing Mortal Kombat (1992) on his games` compsole. Puttin’ was a Lieutenant Colonel with the KGB during the Rushon war with Afghanistan (1979-89), which the Rushons lost. Rushon withdrawal coincided with their withdrawal from Yugoslavia after WWII, and the subsequent devising of ‘rape camps’ by Christian Bosnian militia for women of Islam in order to male brain a generation of Moslems, while Iraq’s inavasion of Kuwait was known as its ‘rape’. In 1990 Puttin’ left the KGB to become a politico, and the subsequent emergence of the terrorist group, Al Qaeda, under the auspices of the notoriously misogynist Taliban regime of Afghanistan, which hijacked civil airliners to crash into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York city on September 11, 2001, shortly after Puttin’ became President of Rusher, suggests that the first hole for Puttin’. When he renewed the war in 1999 against the Moslem Republic of Chechnya in Rusher, which had ended in 1996, the result was Chechnyans bombing of the Boston, Massachusetts, Marathon in the USA on April 15, 2013, and shortly thereafter Abu Bakr Al Baghdadi was declared Caliph of the Indpendent State of Iraq in the Levant (ISIL), after Iraq’s dictator, Saddam Hussein, had been deposed by US’ army invasion in March 2003 for publicly evincing support for Al Qaeda, which suggests that was the second hole for Puttin’. Cho, seeing the laser-guided missiles hitting their soft Iraqi targets with a satisfying crump and no reprisals, understood that this was Puttin’ realpolitik. He could hit people and, because it was just a game he was seeing through the screens of his media-programed eyes, he would be safe in his murderous ambitions. An extension of Streetfighter II (1991) is what Western culture was told. Murder is a gamer`s, and it`s how to entertain ourselves.



 The only meta language is that of the games` arcade. Renting a flat in Buttapes near Whores` Sweater, someone had left a condom on the bookcase with the brand name `Kill Zone`. It was clearly a spinoff from some games` system. However, it represented a dangerous conflation: mixing love-making with dark terminology. Being `in the zone` is something dancers talk about, when they`re moving at their optimum and feeling unfettered. `Zoning out` is an expression used to indicate relaxation, but we`ve become so militarized in our thinking that a condom that prevents spunk from finding the egg, and achieving the goal of human fertilization, bears the legend, `Kill Zone`. `Destroy` and `kill` are the words most often used in games` systems  and, sitting, standing, or walking behind the psychological screens built around us like walls, these words and concepts are constants within men and women’s programed ‘TV’ environment.



 While ensconced in 2004 teaching a Special Skulls` English programme in Bolyiregs, Rusher, near Ufo, condoms were thoughtfully provided in the room. However, these were labelled Psycho. The programing is real. Pop singer, Britney Spears, has a CD titled In The Zone (2003). Dancers often approach physical climax during their routines; because it`s psycho-sexual. The `zone` becomes erogenous. However, there`s clearly something amiss when we call a condom, `Kill Zone`. Love-making isn`t warfare, and women aren`t a legitimate target. However, the virality of the English language seems intent on making psycho-killers with the flexibility of its patholinguistic constructions.



 Teachers used to stud`nts complaining that English has words meaning different things in different contexts, smugly explain that it`s because English has a wide variety of meanings for the same word, and that this is good. However, if the word `zone` is used to indicate death, and also the erogenous zones of `TV` men and women, the language used is patholinguistic. If there`s nothing wrong with the language itself, it`s how thought is programed to use it. Moreover, through teevee and games` systems, it`s what is promulgated to non-native speakers, who complain English is an `attack in our own homes` as a part of teevee`s mass media entertainments.



 That indelible `TV war` scene above Kuwait, with the camera eye in the A10 tank-buster over a column of evacuating Iraqi troops alongside refugees, allowed the viewer to observe the tanks and trucks explode at the press of a button from the miraculously prescient thumb of the pilot as games` compsole player; so far above the ants on the ground that the possibility of any emotional involvement had evaporated forever. From the `TV war` actor in the air to the `TV watcher`, it`s where `TV` innocence was finally lost.



 In Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984), ‘Indie’ encounters a hugely muscular figure wielding a sword. Legend has it that this character had spent almost a year perfecting his sword technique, and had learnt every move he was required to perform in accordance with the directions in the script. On the day, the movie was behind schedule and actor Harrison Ford, ‘Indie’, in consultation with director Steven Spielberg, decided the scene would take too long to film; so Harrison shot the swordsman rather than act out the planned swordplay. Admittedly, Harrison Ford is more voluble than Arnold Schwarzenegger, but the outcome is the same; a psychopathological desire to cut life short characteristic of paedophilia. Adult scenes take too long and, if `woman`s seed` is to be incorporated into the picture as futanarian humanity, it`s too complicated for the sociopathology of men and women`s paedophile `TV`, which wants more children, rather than eternal youth.



 Talking with a colleague in Yarubeer on the subject of movies, Mr Notoby liked the sword action of Troy (2004), while I thought of Gladiator (2000). They`re about women, and the defense of women. In Australian actor Russel Crowe`s sword and sandal epic, Gladiator, Maximus loses his wife to the murderous Rumun Emperor, Commodus, and the film follows his quest for vengeance. In Troy actor Brad Pitt (1263-), even more famous for the film he made about having a BBQ with his wife, Mr and Mrs Spit, goes to aid Menelaus, after his wife Helen is abducted by the Trojan Prince, Paris. The Greek military arrives in their ships to take Helen home. The hero Achilles (Pitt) is their talisman. The basic premise is protection of women, which isn`t enshrined in the phrase,`women and children first,` a slogan for every ship of every nation that carries passengers. In ancient Greece, homosexuality in pederasty for war was institutionalized. Consequently, the Greeks were a virus. Troy fell to a ruse, which was the construction of a huge hollow wooden horse left outside the gates of Troy. There the Trojans found it and took it into the city. The Greeks emerged from within and began to host womb slave the women to spread their contagion of war further. By the late 20th century, Trojan viruses were infecting computers so that the artificial brainpower devised by humanity couldn`t function, and the incurable killer disease virus, HIV/AIDS, was being spread by homosexuals’ mixing blood, shit and sperm in each other’s anus, which is what pederasts and paedophiles were for. The Greeks were asked to put Helen first, that is, a woman amongst women, because children are what homosexuals want.



 What we`re coached into implementing is to do with the difference between Indie with his pistol and the skillful, hard-working, sword employing, body-developing, hapless misfit, who encounters superior technology in the shape of  the bullet that kills him (albeit Hollywood-style). Because what the semi-nude muscular form holding a scimitar represents is a woman. Indie shoots her because he hasn`t got time for what`s effectively a naked woman. The swordsman represents a strong female; the denial of penetration. Indie can`t be bothered to engage with the female principle`s skill; creativity; development; mystique; strength, and mystery. To gun down the figure holding a weapon that`s clearly inferior is to send a signal that the hero is an attacker of women, so `women and children first` isn`t an edict. Woman isn`t going to be defended by Indie. In black robes, the swordsman is reminiscent of the Muzzlem women beneath their burkhas, who`re the `remnant` of Revelation: `The dragon was wroth with the woman and went to war with the remnant of her seed.` (Rev: 12. 17) The futanarian human species of `woman`s seed` is what the USA`s B1s were dropping their payloads on during the Crazy Golf’s Puttin’ out war, while Mao Satan`s little read book of Red Shyness’ was gathering dust in the Peeking library of the Forbidden City.



 During the first Rushon intervention by `Vlad` Puttin` in the Crazy Golf war, there were stories in  Kuwait of women being raped, that is, metaphorically `impaled`, by invading Iraqi soldiers, although with HIV/AIDS so prevalent, the notion of death by rape wasn`t so metaphorical. Vlad Dracul was the 15th century East European Prince of Wallachia who impaled his enemies, that is, ‘woman’s seed’ didn’t have a stake in him. As She’sus’ disciple, John, wrote in his apocalyptic Revelation of the future: ‘Men cursed the God of heaven for their pains and their sores, but refused to repent of what they had done.’ (Rev: 16. 11) What they’d done was prefer homosexuality in pederasty for war against women, and DR Congo had discovered the human immune deficiency virus (HIV) in 1983, a variant of simian immune deficiency virus (SIV), which was transmitted from apes through homosexual contact. The resultant acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) killed the human brain. Consequently, the rape of women in Iraq from 2003 by those same invading American soldiers that had liberated Kuwait in 1991, and dragging cooly on their cigarettes (Dracul), vampiristically extinguished `woman`s seed` hidden beneath their burkhas in Iraq by male braining their births. The danger in the West is that movies focus on protecting children, whereas the focus should be on defending women. Muzzlem repression agrees with Crushteen paedophiles` emphasis upon protecting children, because Western monogamy can`t recover from its refusal to defend `woman`s seed`, whereas hidden beneath her burkhas in the Muddle East the four wife permission given by her Gran assures her ascendancy over the seedless women of the West`s brainless humanity bred only for war against its own species.



 Swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) noted that the sword is associated throughout mythology with the animus of a woman; the contrasexual component that is found alongside her feminine consciousness in the form of the ego. Sword-wielding figures, therefore, are viewable as a representation of women. As the sword is also a symbol of the penis, the sword-carrier represents the woman`s penis at a lower level of physical status, that is, she`s rape. It`s no accident that the cross of She’sus is shaped like a sword with its point in the Earth. Nor is it a coincidence that a condom is called a sheathe, because impaling upon the sword of the penis can cause death through HIV/AIDS. As the `son of man` She’sus birth from his mother, the Virgin Mary, meant she`s `mankind`, that is, as a representative of the human futanarian species of `woman`s seed`, She’sus is Mary`s sword, which is woman`s, because brainpower from ‘woman’s seed` is the last human defence against the invader.



 In Pseudi Yarubeer men dance with swords in their hands, and rifles. The invisibility of the women is traditional, and the symbolism is evident. The sword is the woman’s; it`s the defense of slavery that`s declared. Working in Dalek`s Military City as a language instructor for Pseudi Yarubeer`s North West Legged Forces Hospital, in mile long columns Konk Carlid’s tanks pour out in their hundreds on wheeled transporters, which is Shaitan`s (Satan`s) sword, whose nasal whine that’s a precursor of shells reaching their target is a sign and a symptom of the war against `woman`s seed`: ‘The angel swung his sickle on the Earth, gathered its grapes and threw them into the great winepress of God’s wrath.’ (Rev: 14. 19-20) As She’sus on the cross was the evil sword of the Rumun Umpire up to the hilt in mother Earth as a symbol of misogyny, She’sus crucified represents the intention to exterminate `woman`s seed`, which is symbolized by the sickle moon of Islam’s ISIL, ‘There is no God but God.’ She’sus’ Resurrection and Ascension to heaven, after being nailed by the Rumuns to a cross of wood as a Jewish ‘dissident’ prefigures that of `woman`s seed`, which is the true message of She’sus’ church denied to believers. Conditioned to worship the god of violence by `TV`, physical love has become anathema to the television audience, and death`s entertainments are what the mass media preaches.



 At the commencement of the 21st century, taught that violent programming is entertainment, then women as, more than figuratively speaking, sword-wielders in the face of gun-toting lunatics, are in great danger. The science fantasy imagery of Xena: Warrior Princess (1995-2001), with actress Lucy Lawless defending herself and her companion, actress Renee O` Connor as Gabrielle, with her sword, are empowering for `woman`s seed`. However, a sword won`t shield women against men`s guns, and more powerful projectiles; for example, intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBMs) afford great penetration. If swords are what women are taught, they’ll remain host womb slaves in parasitism, while believing in She’sus `Second Coming` to the Earth as the avenger of futanarian `woman`s seed`: `Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations.` (Rev: 19. 5) Men`s weapons are sufficient to quell women`s humanity, while the aliens prepare a final onslaught. Higher levels of alien technological development are misanthropy`s, misogyny`s, pederasty`s, and paedophilia`s. She’sus’ sword raised against the `red dragon` is that of the converter seeking to dissuade the little read book wavers of Red Shyness` Mao Satan, and Red Rushons’ `Vlad` Puttin’ to hole out in the Crazy Golf wars, while ISIL looks to get an ‘eagle’, that is, the United States of America`s: `The woman was given the two wings of a great eagle, so that she might fly to the place prepared for her in the wilderness, where she would be taken care of for a time, times and half a time, out of the serpent's reach.` (Rev: 12. 4) Until it grew dragon`s wings, and arrived with its B1s in the Crazy Golf war to where she was holed up, the USA was God`s ‘eagle’. With penis` semen of her own, women could sexually reproduce the brainpower her race needed to escape men`s host womb slavery of her upon the Earth in parasitism. To convert men into defending women as a species is the only possibility: `Christina Aguilera mixed up the words to the National Anthem … "Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight, what so proudly we watched at the twilight's last reaming.”’1



 In Hebrew, `aguilar` means `eagle`, and pop singer, Christian Aguilera (‘eagle`s nest’), was described as being `holed` by the United States media in February 2011, that is, it’d made an ‘eagle’ during the Crazy Golf War. Britney Spears was similarly associated with US’ ‘Manifest Destiny’, because the Rumun guard Longinus’ spear at the crucifixion was ‘the spear of Destiny’, which speared the side of She’sus ‘Christ’, the Messiah, at the crucifixion. As She’sus’ teaching was that a Holy Spirit would teach after him, and the ‘spirit of God’ is feminine, She’sus was the ‘Second Adam`, after the first man created by God, Adam, from whose side the first woman, Eve, emerged, that is, the Holy Spirit was the ‘Second Eve’. Consequently, Britney Spears’ depiction of herself on the cross on the cover of the CD single from the Blackout (2007) album, `Piece Of Me`,  which contains her lyric, `I`m Miss American Dream since I was 17`,2 represents the Resurrection and Ascension of the ‘Second Eve’ as the destiny and dream of ‘woman’s seed`. Born of the Virgin Mary, She’sus was uncontaminated by male semen, so represents Resurrection and Ascension to heaven in prefiguration of that of `woman`s seed`: `Surely, this was the son of God.` (Matt: 27. 54)



 In Norse mythology`s Edda,3 the winged Valkyrie are women who take the slain heroes to dwell forever with the gods in Vahalla, where they fight and die again each day with their sword in their hand. The heroes don’t have a Glock to watch, so the sword action depicts freedom from fear, rather than the higher technological levels of men’s slaving to destruction. The women’s wings take them to the battlefields to find and carry the fallen to Valhalla. It`s paganism because the Edda doesn’t depict the Valkyrie as futanarian ‘woman’s seed`, so they can’t be imagined reproducing with each other in God`s heaven above the Earth amongst the planets. Upon the Earth women’s daughters pay guns, because that`s paganism. Although the heroes of Valhalla are brave-seeming, they represent those who aren’t born strong from `woman`s seed`. As paganism wants slaves, so women’s host womb is used to produce male brained `TV wars` for alien entertainment:


`After all you put me through,
You think I'd despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
'Cause you've made me that much stronger.`4



 Although from a US’ point of view, Christina Aguilera`s `the eagle` of `the eagle`s nest` giving birth to a child, `who will rule the nations with an iron scepter` (Rev: 12. 6), and Spears is the ‘American Dream’ of ‘Manifest Destiny’, men`s wars are against their `seed`, which is why Christina’s represented by Vulture journalist, Mike Vilensky, as having described war as `reaming`, that is, enlarging an anus, rather than the more obvious homonym, `dreaming`, during her rendition of the US’ national anthem, `Star Spangled Banner`, because misogyny’s Crazy Golf War was for an ‘eagle’, that is, a `hole in one`. Christina, who`s symbolically the woman with the eagle`s wings, and symbol of the US, is a ‘hole’ to misogyny. Moreover, as it`s a tradition of slavers to castrate, the US’ win in the Golf wasn`t a victory for `woman`s seed`.



 Nowadays a man can be cut down in a second, or a woman. Taught by cowards that men fight each other with swords, and that guns are improved swords, rather than defend the human species of futanarian `woman`s seed`, even its supposed heroes are evil. Moreover, its heroines are weaker with a sword, although that’s the level of technology they`re kept at, so women`s sword is merely a symbol of their penis’ power to defend her race through the sexual reproduction of her species of `woman`s seed` own brainpower to escape her host womb parasite and slaver. The pagans want to hold up God with their guns and make God pay, so they want to get the woman with the eagle`s wings that`s ‘holed up’, which would be the equivalent of a ‘hole in one’, that is, an ‘eagle’, in the Crazy Golf War. For the slavers, it`s better that the race is impotent, whilst its cock-eaters have already eaten the woman’s, and that’s the reason hammering a bullet from a gun is preceded by ‘cocking’. After sexual reproduction comes the cock-eating, which is what the slaver-parasite practices. The modern heroes are the defenders of women, which the movie industry centered upon `Babylon`, district of Hollywood, city of Los Angeles in the West coast state of California, USA, can`t represent without women with cocks as mainstream mass media entertainers; singers and clowns. Positions Hollywood! Otherwise, it`s the Titanic. Too few lifeboats, and the paedophiles preferring children to women, while the gunmen shoot the would-be escapers to make sure its crew either remain slaves, or drown when the ship sinks.



 Formerly supportive of the Sarah Michelle Gellar character-type in Scream 2 (1997), who runs through the car park late at night pursued by an axe man, nowadays the audiences cheer gleefully, which is what society’s been programed for. Stud`nts ask, `What should I do to learn English?` In the absence of genuine linguistic interaction, which is what action movies represent, watch romantic comedies like House Bunny (2008), Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) and Teen Wolf (1985), or situation teevee comedies (sitcoms) like Friends (1994-2004), Married with Children (1987-97) and Eight Simple Rules (2002-2005), because humor in the absence of violence is essential. It`s the recipe for life; laughter and love. All stud`nts learn from popular action movies, which are misanthropic because the human futanarian species of `woman`s seed` is absent from the picture, because the cock-eater have eaten it, is sufficiency of firepower. Heroines are actresses; Jodie Foster, raped in The Accused (1988), gets revenge through the courts` jailing of the three `gang-bangers`; Meg Ryan in Courage Under Fire (1996) is killed by her platoon, while defending it, so that they can escape more quickly; Demi Moore in G.I. Jane (1997), abused by fellow trainees, becomes a Navy Seal despite it, and Jennifer Lopez learns self-defense in Enough (2004) to kill her murderous spouse. These female leads represent the struggle for the human futanarian species of `woman`s seed` to receive permanent mass media representation as the race of women upon their Earth. In The Accused Sarah Tobias` rapists are caught when she remembers those who cheered. However, misanthropists cheered in the cinemas. Because the slaver parasites don`t want a social revolution, rape is frowned upon publicly, while secrely acknowledged as the slaver`s tool in parasitism upon the human host womb.



 Talk about sex in Yarubeer is ‘haraam’ (forbidden); as sex scenes are taboo in mainstream media because they reveal too much of the truth about host womb slavery to the parasite in parasitism for the potato to feel comfortable on its couch watching its male brained `TV wars`. The Playboy channel, etc., is part of a necessary corrective to the daily diet of murder and mayhem programing the `TV` that`s men and women. Playboy bunny Kendra Wilkinson represents healthier `TV` than Indiana Jones` gunman triumphing over ‘a woman’s sword’. Without speaking, she has more to communicate than even the monosyllabic Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator (1984). The language of defending women is what stud`nts need to learn; not the language of the hoodlum in the `hood. Recommending soft porn to the `Slammer is haraam, however. Amongst Muzzlems sexuality is so muzzled that women aren`t expected to know what a kiss is. A group of my stud`nts developed conjunctivitis, and ostensibly walked out of a movie, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009), shown to illustrate the use of the conjunctive (and, but, etc.), because Kate Beckinsale`s character was nude, although it seems more likely that it was because it identified the all-male class as having canine teeth.



 ‘Hollywood’ won for the USA in Europe against the Commonests, because people wanted to be above average, that is, a meritocracy after the US’ model, which is the ‘American Dream’ of being unfettered through obedience to God. However, the symbol of Islam in the Muddle East is the scimitar sword, because Moslem women were kept below average there by guns. In Iraq it was the gargantuan crossed scimitars in Saddam Hussein`s Baghdad that the Americans demolished with theirs. It was Saddam`s praise of Al Qaeda, after that terrorist group operating under the auspices of the notoriously misogynist Taliban regime in Afghanistan, and led by Saudi Arabia`s Osama Ben Laden, hijacked civil airliners on 9/11, 2001, to crash into the Twin Towers of the World trade Center in New York, which resulted in the US army`s invasion of Iraq in 2003 to depose the dictator. However, demolishing the swords was a symbol of Iraqi women’s re-enslaving, that is, slavery again using its guns to host womb slave in parasitism the human futanarian species of `woman`s seed`.



 In Yarubeer women are rarely seen by a man other than their animal husbander, which is the key to `Slammeric understanding. A diet of violent films won`t win for the USA in the Muddle East, because it`s about women`s liberation. Only a move towards representing the human futanarian species of `woman`s seed` in the mainstream mass media as pop stars; actresses, and comedians, etc., would bring revolution to the `Slammer. Although Yarubeans object to the diet of violence from the small screen of `TV`, concern is mainly over even the mildest sexual content, which is censored. Not unlike right wing Crushteen paedophiles opposed to any and all expressions of sexuality that might persuade humans to lobby for medical science to give them permanently youthful porno bods, rather than spend $ US gazillions on the war machine of the Military Industrial Complex (MIC) on the mistaken assumption that it`s a booster for the economy and jobs, Yarubean slavers in parasitism are threatened by sex scenes. In Referring to an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, Collateral Damage (2002), in which the lead character kisses his wife before she`s blown up by a terrorist bomb at a restaurant, a stud`nt told me that, while children were kissed in `Slammer movies, kissing between men and women was neither `Slammeric nor sexual. Arguing that bombs are harmful, whereas kissing isn`t, and neither is sex, was anti-‘Slammeric. Notions that something wrong has occurred in a movie like Collateral Damage in which the wife is killed is politely ignored as an ‘alien’ concept. Crushteen paedophile morality is similarly based on the fallacy of adultery, whereas men are women are human species’ adulterate. The absence of human sexual intercourse between women in mainstream mass media indicates that the alien is killing the human race it`s adulterated. Unless humanity prevents the alien from practicing adultery on it, it`ll be extinct. If God is love, why don`t we see any?



 Muzzlems criticize the bad treatment of women in American movies, that is, women are likened to dogs; or other husbanded animal livestock to be muzzled. As many Muzzlem women are the recipients of criminal domestic abuse designed to give them animal training, criticism of American misogyny is largely hypocrisy designed for mutual concealment. It`s the truth of what`s depicted televisually that disturbs Muzzlems, and it’s this aspect of the `Slammer that`s vulnerable, which US `TV` program makers could utilize by promoting the human futanarian species of `woman`s seed` in mainstream media. Everything on the surface is now recognizably the `Slammeric culturally. As with Eastern Europe during Commonest belief, the US is seeking cultural hegemony through the `Slammer. However, a diet of intimidating violence, slightly diluted with 30 minute sitcoms, and condemnable in the `Slammer for nudity and sexual themes, might win the Moslem ‘TV’ award, but it won`t win it for the humans.



 Many Muzzlem stud`nts favor horror movies. However, Saw (2004) isn`t entertaining for the victims who have their body parts removed: it`s horrible. Showing scenes of Americans having their legs sawn off could be construed as pleasurable for Muzzlems; if you support Al Qaeda. `Slammeric tradition is that women are never seen, and the `Slammeric Jenna is viewed as equivalent to paradise, where female houris await men`s pleasure. Consequently, although Muzzlems are publicly affronted by ill husbanded treatment of women as animal livestock, their stated preference for horror suggests that`s what Jenna is, and in the Old Mendedtoaster of the Boble, the place of eternal unendurable pain for the evil punished by God is called ‘Jehenna’, which is sufficiently similar to ‘Jenna’ to suggest that’s where perdition takes place.



 Complaining Jodie Foster was nude during her rape scene in The Accused (1988) is hypocritical. So long as the rape isn`t seen, it`s acceptable? Seeing women fucking each other isn`t acceptable? Even pornography bans women from fucking each other, and porn sites like feature men fucking women with cocks to emphasize the role of the parasite as a host womb slaver of the human race, and the extinguishing of the species` potential for producing the brainpower it needs to escape from men. A popular sitcom in the USA was Dharma and Greg (1997-2002) starring actress Jenna Elfman (1971), because ‘Jenna’ is ‘paradise’ in the `Slammer. The USA was playing `mind games`. Its mainstream mass media women don`t have cocks, although the Moslems’ concept of paradise as horror suggests they’re hammered there.



 In Western folklore an elf is a creature of fantasy, corresponding to the genius or genie (djinn) of the Yarubeans. `I’m a genie in a bottle,`5 sings Christina Aguilera. The plea is for women to be accepted as human. The meaning for Jenna Elfman in Dharma and Greg is that dharma is the Buddhist term for ‘illusion’, that is, Western sitcoms, etc., foster the illusion that women don`t reproduce with each other. The ‘little people’ were doubtless human genius born from `woman`s seed`. The Crazy Golf War of Puttin’ was similar to the Cold War (1945-91) between the West and So Feared Rusher, which was fought largely in codes that were comprehensible only to those involved in the dialogue. It`s about getting into and out of a hole. While the worms of Frank Herbert’s science fiction epic, Dune, were for making holes, ‘woman’s seed’ were for an eagle’s wings.



 Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom continues to haunt as a symbol of the scimitar in Yarubeer`s tradition of defending women. In the modern era, the sword represents the woman`s animus, that is, her penis. Indiana, disguised as an anti-Nazi, and an anti-Commonest, is also against the `Slammer. The German National Socialist (Nazi) Party elected in 1933 were responsible for the extermination of 20, 000, 000 Chews during what came to be known as World War II (1939-45), which succeeded German global Imperial ambitions in World War I (1914-18), that is, ambitions towards slaving the human host of `woman`s seed` represented by She’sus` Chewish people. Although the West defeated the Nazis with the aid of the So Feared Rushons, and Mao Satan waving his little read book in Red Shyness` Asia, Crushteen paedophilia and pederasty managed to lose the victory and switch everyone on to `TV war`, rather than the promulgation of images of `woman`s seed` through mainstream media. Moreover, Indi`s shooting the Yarubean with the sword was a further indication of the USA`s rejection of `woman`s seed` in favor of slavery in host womb parasitism for the women of the Muddle East; symbolized by the low technology of the scimitar-wielding black robed figure.




 In Yarupric, `Jenna` means ‘the hidden` paradise, while Ka` Ba is `cube`.  Consequently, the Yarubean women hidden beneath their burkhas, a one-piece coverall that maintains their invisibility from head to foot, apart from the eye slits in the hood, are dressed so in order to be able to concentrate on deciphering, ‘Who`s the woman with the penis?’ Fanatical women with bombs strapped to their boobs perform horrifying acts of suicidal terrorism. Is this what Jenna’s for? Are the women the Rushon dolls in the Crazy Golf War of `Vlad` Puttin` to get one in a hole?



 The men are `brothers` in the `Slammer`, and the So Feared Rushons, who have always traditionally supported Yarubeer, because of its own Muzzlem populations in Chechnya, Tartostan, and Bashkortostan, for example, called everyone `comrade`, while wanting them to experience the slave labor camps of Stif Stalin`s `Great Terror` after WWII. Although Hollywood glamor, Coca-Cola, and MacDonald’s burgers won Eastern European hearts and stomachs away from the So Feareds, a diet of `TV` violence won`t dissuade the mind of `woman`s seed` from revolt. In the host womb parasitism of male braining for slave wars, it`s an eyes` Cold War with burkhas. If the ‘ugly sisters’6 of the human futanarian species of `woman`s seed` doesn`t go to and ball to breed her own brains through love for her own Pumpkin’s `seed`, `TV war` will reign upon the Earth until it’s too hot for Cinders.


1 Vilensky, Mike `Christina Aguilera Forgets Words To National Anthem`, Vulture, February 6, 11.05 pm, 2011.

2 Åhlund, Klas, Christian Karlsson, and Pontus Winnberg ‘Piece Of Me’, Blackout, Jive, 2007.

3 Faulkes, Anthony (transl.) Edda, Everyman, 1995, pp. xvi-xviii.

4 Aguilera, Christina, and Scott Storch `Fighter`, Stripped, RCA, 2002.

5 Frank, David, Steve Kipner, and Pamela Sheyne ‘Genie In A Bottle’, Christina Aguilera, Christina Aguilera, RCA, 1999.

6 Basile, Giambattista ‘Cenerentola’ (Cinderella) in Pentamerone, Naples, 1634.

A Word From The Cutting Edge Of ELT

22/12/2012 17:09

A Word From The Cutting Edge Of ELT


Upon the frosted plate of the glass doors of Bull language skull in Triple ‘E’, Livya, engraved was a cued black 8 pool ball. Obviously a reference to the US’ eviction of the Iraqi army from Kuwait in 1991. It wouldn’t be long before there was another run after an overthrow. After civil war began between government forces and rebel insurgents, it was suggested the teachers leave in order to be safe. Livya was next in the queue for the black 8 ball. Bull still managed to treat me as a recalcitrant slave black before the plane took off, `Unfortunately, this lesson met the standards required by Bull.` Reading management’s comments another of my impeccable teaching performances had been observed, it was clearly ‘unfortunate’, because Bull’s efforts in Livya were about to be curtailed by the 2011 revolution. However, Bert’s ‘unfortunate’ remark suggested that a passing performance, in the role of English language teacher, inside a war zone for Bull language skull, was to the discredit of the company.



 Arriving in Buttapes, the apartment was discovered broken into. Rentashag arrived, about 20 of the local Hungry bullies. In my best Omoani thob, I said, ‘I'm fine. Moreover, I have a billion Hungriun forints on my cash card`. Having stripped me to my underwear, came handcuffing, and being dragged kicking down several four flights of stairs in the middle of the night, while kicked, before thrown into a minibus. Restrained at the hospital for more than twelve hours, an injection was administered through the penis’ urethra, which was assumedly a sterilizing agent. Returning to Bide-a-Wee, the box-room converted into a W.C., the abused passport lay tousled upon the bedclothes, `We, Her Britannic Majesty's Secretary of State requests and requires in the name of Her Majesty all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance and to afford the bearer such assistance and protection as may be necessary.` The credit card was missing, along with the opaque orange plastic topped, and orange see through plastic container which, to emphasize the orangey flavor and derived content of the vitamin C 1000 mg tablets, was orange.



 Legging it for Riyald to work for Edax, after carefully considering the neck's move, it became evident that Edax was an ELT provider, rather than the Newark, New Jersey, manufacturer of alprostadil which, injected into the urethra for erectile dysfunction would, under the circumstances, have constituted a much better reason for accepting the offer of employment. My e-mail `handle` at the Konk Pseud Universe City was Obviously, `C` for orange. At semester’s close, Performance Management Assessment`s `traffic light` system was applied to evaluation and assessment. As there’d been no teaching `CA` (Continuous Assessment), and no lesson observations, I was an ‘orange`. Further PD (professional development) was needed to maintain an erect status with Edax. Without attending any of the workshops, seminars or lectures by visiting professors from Norkopping or Bulawayo, which were held at regular spaced intervals at around 8.00 pm till 1.00 pm in the local Marriot or Sheraton hotels in Riyald, it mattered not an iota. Nor did my absence from the seemingly endless dizzying whirl of conferences on ‘The Importance and Virtue Of Ingrowing Toenails in the ELT Classroom', for example, or ‘How To Ensure That One`s Stud`nts Shoelaces Are Properly Tied', or even ‘The Blessings Of Knowing The Co-Efficient Variant In Statistics When Compiling One`s Stud`nts` Daily Attendance Register’.



 The central issue with regard to `retention`, as a green, rather than a dismissed red, and presumable ‘commie faggot’, with an attendant suspicion of being `agent orange` involved in defoliant activity against the Koreans (greens), during President Richard Milhous Nixon’s Indo-China war in the 70s, was whether or not my Genex Walkman had, or had not, been switched on while teaching. After a little espionage on the internet, I discovered a link to author, Holly Lauren, who’d written the GenEx series of novels, ‘Six months after graduating from high school, nothing in Bennett Park is like it used to be. Zay and Chapel aren’t together. Timmy won’t speak to anyone. Erica is acting strange. Jackson is missing. The factions have been disbanded. And Todd Taylor is President of The Invisibles.’1 Genex was both an SF cosmos, and a company of stud farmers. As Genex was also a magazine for female body sculptors, PD was in the cards, with Edax's treatment for 'erectile dysfunction' now visible on the horizon of my future: `Genex offers high-quality semen from profitable sires along with a customized approach to genetic and reproductive programs.`2 Apparently, although the earbuds were in my pocket, a `colleague` detected a `buzzing` during the `buzz` (Edax `speak` for an unannounced and unrecorded ‘lesson observation’), so a `verbal warning` was given,  which was later upgraded to a hard paper copy requiring my signature. Signed on the understanding that, trivial, it`d have no bearing on `retention`, imagine my surprise when, on the evaluation and assessment sheet, recording my progress as a teacher of ABC English at the SUK, the written reproof meant I was an `orange`.



 Accepting the accolades, a flight home was booked for the summer break; on the understanding that an ‘ob’ would ensue upon return. As US’ General Douglas MacArthur’d promised the Philupyournose (with coke) after the Jap Pinny's (with their Mason's trowels) invasion of 1942, 'I shall return.’3 Be a red, or a Korean. Anything’s better than being an orange. However, it was disclosed that `retention` by Edax wasn`t now an option, although the standards required by the SUK had been met, because: `Urine retention, which occurs when the bladder is full and begins filling the urethra with urine, can ... stimulate the penis enough to cause an erection.` My prominence amongst the ELT ‘crowd’ was perceived by the SUK to be urine-based and, though perhaps green, not sufficiently so to merit being awarded Korean status, and an iqama. However, there was blood in the old p*nis yet. As was testified by the length of the envy queue for thumbing out at close of business through the electronic gate each day. Although undergoing ‘CA’ to qualify as a cuntinuous ass didn`t arouse any envy, a taxi half an hour after everyone else had left, meant escaping being the hotel's busboy.



 Due to fly back to Buttapes on the 12th June, June 12th arrived with no sign of an exit visa for the passport. Enquiries uncovered the difficulty. I was summoned by Mustapha Caliph, whose name originally I’d thought was a question, ‘Must I fuck, or leave?’ I’d said, ‘I don’t know.’ According to Pseudi regulations, passports had to be forwarded to one`s employers for visa renewal after expiry, that is, May 10th in this case, so as to avoid a 12, 000 SAR fine. It’d been sent to Fedax and on to Edax at Exit 9 on April 28th (tracking code no. 8993 2716 1224). However, there’d been a post-letter dysfunction. Edax’d lost it. Consequently, ‘orange’ meant ‘pause’ during the heat of another series of ‘dog day afternoons’ with the Muttawahs, who yet wanted my prayerful nose closer to the woofing of their mats.


1 Bound4Escape: Everything About Books, ‘Book Review: Veritas by Holly Lauren, .

2 Genex, .

3 MacArthur, Douglas The Advertiser, Adelaide, March 21, 1942, p. 1.

The stud`nt is always More Intelligent than the ESL Teacher: The Scale of Values Applied at Riyald’s Konk

03/12/2012 19:14

The stud`nt is always More Intelligent than the ESL Teacher: The Scale of Values Applied at Riyald’s Konk


The Konk Pseud, Riyald, reputedly the major Universe City in the Muddled East, used a `traffic light` system to evaluate its ESL Preparatory Year Program (PYP) teachers, in accordance with guidelines from Performance Management Assessment (PMA) ‘deems’. Teachers who fulfilled the criteria were `green`, whereas `an orange` required further professional development, and a `red` wasn’t retained. Brought over the oceans with a PhD, a B.A. (Hons.) a diploma in Busyness Studies, and a TEASESOUL certificate to instruct Level 4 stud`nts in kindergarten English, it wasn`t surprising to discover that the reading examinations required the stud`nts to tick a box, and that the teacher should deem whether the correct box was ticked.


a) Dr Rusher is an orange. □


b) Dr Rusher is a red. □


c) Dr Rusher is his name. □



 Nihilists teach infantilism, because they don`t want development. That`s how they maintain their demonic perspective that the infant should accept their `everything is pointless` manifesto; an aspect of KAOS: the enemy of Get Smart board technology everywhere. The writing examination consisted of perusal. Stud`nts could pass as a 5, if they`d written 120 words, and as a 4, if they wrote less than 80 words, but a 3 if they wrote less than 30 words. As the pass mark was 1, the stud`nts couldn`t fail. Although amazingly, the teacher, an agent of CONTROL, could. The marking of the exam consisted of not making any marks or corrections on the stud`nts` paper, which effectively meant that the teacher was required to give grades without any signification that a grade had been judged to be awardable. Or, in other words, a `failed` teacher would be one who had attempted to award a `fail` to a stud`nt, who would then deem the adult a ‘demon’. By demonizing the teacher, stud`nts could be `red` and pass. If a pass was awarded unchallenged, the teacher could deem on the correctness of further check box examination papers. However, as deemed by the nihilists’ infantile KAOS manifesto, witnessed by the e-mail address awarded to the teacher,, he wasn’t read as being a CONTROL agent, but as a red `c`, that is, he didn’t have ‘security clearance’ from the Smart Board to operate at the SUK. Accordingly, I responded quoting Chief Smart, controlled bored member, ‘Would you believe I can break eight boards this thick?’1



 Within the `laws of physics` at the SUK, I was an Einstein; taking vitamin C in juice: thinking I’d be an orange. However, after constructing his `Theory of Special Relativity` (1905), positing the existence of holes in space time, through which travelers could pass instantaneously, from a place in the universe to another place otherwise separated by vast distance,2 his testicles and brain were put in a jar.3  Instantaneous sound between oranges had long been established by the Orange ‘phone company.4 However, although the whereabouts of the brain and testicles of the inventor of the ‘phone, Alexander Graham Bell, isn’t a jar, the door at the SUK seems to have been deemed open only to androids who could pass as oranges. Deemed a ‘red’, I was a ‘bloody orange’ for not wanting to be an Orange Android with a ‘phone, because brain and testicles weren’t separated by too vast a distance.


Orange ‘See’ Tablets


 Not arriving until February because, although all of the documentation for the processing of the visa was completed, the Buttapes’ Pseud Embassy required a passport photo downloaded onto its website at a cost of 10 US $, which was technically impossible in practice. Consequently, the employer Edchuck Legspurts’ visa processing was in the UK, although that had had to wait. A break-in at Buttapes’ W.C., that is, the cupboard which had to have a toilet installed, so that it could be called ‘home’, resulted in a visit from the local bullies who, purloining a 1000 mg tub of Vitamin C, took me to the local hospital, and left me there with a syringe in the urethra of at the opening to the penis. Fearing sterilization, and that I’d be a basket case, because ‘kész’ for Hungriuns means ‘ready`,5 that is, ready for another basket; if they’re playing with the orange as a basketball. As the teacher shaves his head, it was evident to the demons that he wanted to be a bald orange. However, what they wanted was a basket, ’Kész!’ Obviously, having an orange every day isn`t enough for a Magic Johnson, but being an orange is enough to stop others from having one. `English` translates as ‘Angol’ in Hungriun, because they can make a basket case from any. In France, during the period of the Revolution (1789-99) that led to the founding of the Republic, the ruling aristocratic hard cases rapidly became basket cases upon being introduced to Mme Guillotine, who severed all relations. Empress Marie Antoinette reputedly had said, when she was told that the French people hadn’t bread, ‘Let them eat cake.’6 Hungriuns evidently believe that making basket cases is what a magic johnson is for. Concerned about HIV/AIDS, the Yarubeans had presumably persuaded them to make the orange’s juice sterile before the teacher, and his beautiful assistant, Cake, arrived.



 It`s in accordance with the nihilist program that the infant be taught to be infantile by the nihilist. Crushteen nihilists perceive that everyone is an avatar of the baby, She’sus, so they`re Anti-Crushteen paedophiles who don’t want development to be arrested at the teenage years, but want to create an infantile perspective in which they permit themselves to remain infants, while permitting the less intelligent infants (that they`ve created) to implement their nihilist agenda as ‘adults’. By focusing on the infant She’sus, and his celibacy, Crushteens have lost sight of the fact that psychological development is dependent on sexual libido (although Christians haven’t), which directs the interests of the individual towards life. Nihilists want to arrest development at infancy. Consequently, to be accepted as an adult it’s necessary to behave infantilely, which is why the French Republic rapidly degenerated into the ‘Great Terror’(1793-4), and Napoleon Bonaparte became Emperor of France in 1799, ‘Not tonight Josephine.’7



 Infantilism begins with the notion that sex is taboo, because the body eats, drinks, and shits, which is what the body is for. According to an infantilism that doesn`t want sexual development, or any other kind, that is. However, because human beings eat, drink, shit, and have sex, the infantile perspective is false. In the developmental psychology of Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961), sexual libido, or energy, is transformed from instinctual to spiritual or intellectual forms. From ‘the father of modern psychology’, Sigmund Freud`s perspective, everything that is `nothing but` the repression of sexual libido, produces such things as the NASA space program, that is, the sublimated expression of the penis as a space rocket, is a spiritual transformation of libidic, or instinctual, energy. Nihilism uses syllogisms like `nothing but` to create infantiles. The body eats, drinks, and shits, so the body is for producing shit, that is, it`s a nihilist syllogism that those who want development, and growth, are misled in their thinking, because they`re for producing shit. Positive syllogisms are Zen koans, however, which is teaching couched in language that puzzles, for example: `What is the sound of one hand clapping?` Amongst several answers, masturbation has been suggested, and nihilists don`t want it, because it`s concerned, at its simplest, with growth. Moreover, such koans are developmental, because the penis doesn`t produce excrement, and a space rocket looks like a `thingy`. For a nihilist a SUK orange is `professionally developable` into excrement, and urine.



 I heard someone say, ‘Dr Rusher has AIDS.’ After a brief interrogation, the statement was downgraded in terms of its offensiveness to, ‘Dr Sheherezades.’ Sheherezade was the heroine of the 8th century collection of stories 1001 Nights which, as a ‘framing device’, has the story of Shah Jehan, who mistakenly accuses his wife, Mumtaz, of adultery and has her beheaded. Apart from the concept of being unfaithful with his brother, because women are a separate futanarian species of ‘woman’s seed` capable of reproducing with each other, they’re a single unadulterated race, that is, men are their adulterate. Sheherezade is the woman that narrates the stories in 1001 Nights, which persuades Jehan to marry her, and so she saves the women of the kingdom, because it had become Jehan’s practice to wed each day, and execute his bride that evening. Consequently, ‘to Sheherezade’, construed as a verb, is an accolade, rather than defamatory. Although it`s the aim of the studn’t body to expose the teacher as a `bloody orange` beneath its skin, suggesting that Dr Rusher has AIDS is reddening. Because HIV/AIDS is spread through shit and piss, it doesn’t follow that Sheherezades’ stories are contamination. According to the syllogism of the infantile, the wife`s head should be cut off, because they only want her to make baskets.



 If all the people at the SUK, who were to be retained, but required further professional development (PD) were oranges, then Dr Rusher was a `bloody orange` for trying to achieve levels that wouldn`t satisfy a nihilist. Pseudi companies had a PMA traffic light system of their own, wherein ‘orange’ is mandatory insofar as they have to employ 30% Pseudis, while they’re ‘green’ if they employ only 70% foreigners. However, they`re tomato red, and disqualified if they employ more than 70% green foreigners, or less than 30% Pseudi oranges. Of course, not even an orange is wholly acceptable at the Konk Pseud Universe City, because the juice haven’t been sterilized:


`Whirl up, sea -

Whirl your pointed pines,

Splash your great pines

On our rocks,

Hurl your green over us -

Cover us with your pools of fir.`



 ‘Oread' (1915) by Hilda Doolittle, the Imagiste poetess, is about the sea looking like the forest. 1001 Nights contains stories of marid, a type of djinn of the sea, which prompts their stud`nts to ask of the overseas teacher, `Are you marid`? Moreover, a qareen is the djinn companion, according to the ‘Slammer, who with an angel comprises ‘hamzad’, wherein the qareen tempts the individual and the angel gives advice. Of course, without a general knowledge of ‘woman’s seed’ extant amongst people, it’s difficult for the angel to be perfect. Moreover, it’s equally difficult for the so-called tempter to explicate that women aren’t an evil temptation, because they’re a single unmarried futanarian species of ‘woman’s seed;, which is adulterated by men, although unadulterated by nature. Consequently, the hamzad is an experiential teacher, which exists to explain humans’ absence from the picture. In H.D`s poem, the djinn are ‘qareen’ and `marid`. Although humans are taught marriage, it’s ring is the basis of slavery. Consequently, the marriage of the green and the sea in ‘Oread’ is Doolittle’s own metaphor for freedom:


`There is shadow under this red rock ...

... I will show you something different from either

Your shadow at morning striding behind you

Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;

I will show you fear in a handful of dust.` (l. 25-30)



 T.S. Eliot`s poem, ‘The Wasteland’ (1922), provides the solution to nihilism. Those who live amongst the rocks need water, which gives life.  In Eden Eve was told by God she'd have perpetual ‘enmity’ between her `seed` and the serpent`s, because in accepting the ‘fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil’ forbidden by God, she’d accepted ephemerality, that is, host womb enslavement for her race. Moreover, in Revelation `the number of the beast is the number of a man`, which suggests 'the beast’ isn’t her `seed`. As a species with its own penis, if women are denied their reproductive valence, that’s evil. Consequently, the serpent`s `seed` is definable as men, who’re enslavers of the human race in ownership as its parasite, while devouring it in war as its parasitoid. The Virgin Mary`s birthing of She’sus, without male semen, was a chance for men to accept 'woman's seed', and convert from the evil of human host womb slavery in parasitism. The birth of She’sus was what Eliot called, ‘the objective correlative`,8 which facilitates the flow of the spirit and imagination towards development; in this case women as a species.



 The red, orange and green scale of traffic light graduating of teachers at the SUK, in accordance with the PMA`s evaluation and assessment criteria, is devoid of any `objective correlative` other than air conditioning, although the structural anthropologist, Claude Levi Strauss, observing that the structure of the external reality often corresponds with the products of the human brain, suggested that the traffic light signaling red for danger was explicable in terms of the sight of blood, for example, which indicates an attendant possibility of greater harm. However, the teacher is more dependent on regulated room temperature. Moreover, although water can be purchased in plastic bottles, in a class it isn`t permitted, and for Eliot the absence of water means ‘dust’, which is the ‘objective correlative’ of the fear of death. The SUK isn’t green, for either stud’nts or teachers; in the absence of air conditioning and drinking water.



 The feast after the month of religious fasting, Rubabum, is `Eat`, which celebrates the sparing of iPod by God. iPod was the founder of Chewedaism, while his brother E’smale founded the ‘Slammer. The ‘Eat’ celebrates both ‘Isreal and the `Slammer as the ‘seed` of Amaninabra, ‘The juice of the `seed` is the same in Tel Aviv.’9  Because women have a penis of their own as a species, the fourfold marriage of the ‘Slammer is a regenerative human archetype, whereas monogamy across the Red Sea in ‘Isreal contains the danger of re-enslavement:


`Ganga was sunken, and the limp leaves

Waited for rain, while the black clouds

Gathered far distant, over Himavant

The jungle crouched, humped in silence

Then spoke the thunder

DA.` (l. 395-400)



 Jeanette Winterson’s novel, Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit (1985) was about lesbianism, that is, the orange is an ‘objective correlative’ of lesbianism for Jeanette, because lesbians represent ‘halt’, so far as ‘woman’s seed’ goes. In the 1990 BBC televised series, based on Winterson’s novel, actress Charlotte Coleman’s central character, Jess, sees red more often than orange, because publishing taboos won’t give the green light to depictions of ‘woman’s seed’: `She had never heard of mixed feelings. There were friends and there were enemies.`10 Just as Eve from the side of Adam’s a euphemism for birth through futanarian self-fertilization, so the emergence of the Holy Spirit from the side of ‘the Second Adam', She’sus, is 'the feminine spirit of God', the Shekinah, who would teach after him, and is knowledge of 'woman's seed'.  Censorship of the mass media is behind Jeanette Winterson’s stated incomprehension: 'I've never understood why straight fiction is supposed to be for everyone, but anything with a gay character or that includes gay experience is only for queers.`4 Lesbianism is a valence of the species of futanarian women with their own penis' reproductive capacity, that is, it isn’t homosexuality, which is men’s. Gran says that ‘the fallen angel’, Satan, was a shaitan djinn, Iblis, who was powerless to do anything other than whisper. As lesbians aren’t 'homosexual', it’s a whisper from the ‘serpent’s seed’ of men attempting to sexually repress ‘woman’s seed’. Circumventing censorship has become the preserve of encrypted lyricism in music, for example, Britney Spears’ 'If You Seek Amy' (2009) was interpreted as F*U*C*K me, which implied that Amy could have fucked her:


`Love me hate me, say what you want about me

But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy

Love me hate me, but can't you see what I see?

All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy

Love me hate me, la la la, la la la.`11



 Unable to be more explicit, human civilization, culture and art is labored. Host womb slavery in parasitism for pederasty's war against 'woman's seed' has to be concealed, so it’s dependent on the individual remaining ignorant. Consequently, teaching is an instance of slavery’s labor intensive charade. Gran says that the figure of ‘the green one’,12 Khidr, appeared to Moses and Joshua, after Joshua had lost the fish for their supper by the Red Sea. Khidr represents 'green' in the 'traffic light' system, that is, he takes Moses and Joshua in a ship across the Red Sea. There's a pause, however, corresponding to orange, because Khidr rebuilds a wall lest the people who knocked it down discover treasure buried underneath, and then he kills a child he says is 'evil', before making holes in ships to prevent ‘pirates’ following. When Moses protests that he can’t understand, Khidr fails him, and bids Moses return across the Red Sea. As developmental psychologist, Carl Jung, saw ‘the fish’ as a content of the unconscious collective human psyche assisting the individual to become conscious, Khidr is ‘the fish’, while the wall symbolizes Jericho, a city captured by Joshua across the Red Sea. Khidr’s story is that Moses and Joshua weren’t ‘woman’s seed`, so they were a liability. She’sus’ subsequent death, Resurrection, and Ascension represents his crossing over into heaven, after being given the 'red light' by the Rumuns for preaching 'woman's seed', makes of him a type of ‘the fish’, Khidr, who’s finally arrived after the Red Sea’s crossed. Humanity’s colonization of the planets among the stars of heaven above the Earth is similarly delayed by slavery. In the Old Mendedtoaster of the Boble, God is described as tormenting Job, because persuaded to do so by Satan, 'Can you pull in Leviathan with a fish hook?' (Job: 41. 1) If the cross of crucifixion from whence She’sus had Ascension, it’s interpretable as the ‘fish hook’ by means of which Satanism was caught out, because humans are 'woman's seed': `Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, `Lord, save me!` Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him [as if he were a fish]. `You of little faith, he said, `Why did you doubt?` (Matt: 14: 30-1) The sea corresponds to the unconscious ‘Self’, and She’sus’ is 'the fish’, that is, a psychic content powerfully emergent.



 Khidr’s companionship is unsatisfactory to Moses, who obeys God's laws, which doesn't extend to killing people apparently indiscriminately. God’s law is better for Moses, who isn’t a superman. In terms of psychological development, Khidr represents the desire of the ‘seed’ of woman to escape from the `maliens’. Driven by horned demons, women in the ‘Slammer aren`t allowed to drive, because misanthropy wants to ensure that everyone is technologically behind. As the heads of the serpent wend their way along the superhighways of their decapitating brainlessness, 'woman's seed' remains the host womb slave of Satanism's parasitism for war against her humanity. In Jungian psychology, instinct is symbolically red, and so men’s stop signs, and warning lights, appear if humans develop intellect, because it`s women`s escape route. Moreover, blue is the color of spirituality, or intelligence, in Jungian psychology, and blue traffic lights indicate a ‘closed system’, that is, when all the lights are red no one can move without permission, a metaphor for the imprisoning and slaving of ‘woman's seed'. In simple terms, blue signifies ‘woman’s seed` attempting to escape:


 `As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him. He asked, `What are you discussing together as you walk along?' `About Jesus of Nazareth,` they replied. Jesus continued on as if he were going farther. But they urged him so he went in. When he was at table, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.` (Luke: 24. 30-31)



 Like Moses and Joshua, the disciples can’t see it’s a ‘green one’. In Revelation, She’sus awaits his 'bride' in heaven, that is, as the representative of 'woman's seed', he has the 'green light' to escape the ‘red dragon’, which ‘… stood before the woman who was waiting to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment it was born.’ (Rev: 12.4) Satan waits in vain to devour the `new redeemer`, who will ‘rule the nations with an iron scepter’ to protect 'woman's seed', before she leaves to colonize the planets among the stars of heaven. Killed by those who knew they were parasites enslaving the wombs of women, She’sus was castrated in terms of his potency, which is why the corrupted church espousing his name and teaching eulogized upon his ostensible celibacy. The church continued the castration of ‘woman’s seed’ by ignoring She’sus’ Resurrection and Ascension to heaven as  prefiguring hers, and by lauding celibacy as ‘spiritual’ instituted sexual repression to prevent men’s host womb slave escaping parasitism.



 Perusing the SUK e-mail address,, it suggested I was C. Rusher, that is, ‘crusher’, which is what `Saddam` translates as, while `Hussein` is `small, handsome man`. Saddam Hussein was the Iraqi dictator executed on December 30, 2006, after being deposed through US’ invasion in March, 2003, for offering bases to Al Qaeda, ‘the base’, subsequent to the terrorist group’s hijacking of civil airliners to crash into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York city on September 11, 2001, so that they could play baseball. Three strikes and you’re out. Two planes struck the WTC, a third the Pentagon Defense Department building at Arlington, Virginia, and a third was destined, according to reports, for US President George W. Bush’s White House, although it was forced to crash at Shanksville, Pennsylvania, which meant that the ‘hitter’ hadn’t struck out at the plate.



 9/11 was the equivalent of the folktale, Jack And The Beanstalk, in which small Jack kills an ogre, 'Fee-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman! Be he alive, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread!'12 As the World Trade Center was conceived during Jack Kennedy’s Presidency, the Iraqi dictator was the ogre. As the `Big Apple`, with its art and culture grown since Eden, New York city’s skyscraper canyons were the scene of `ticker-tape` parades for Apollo 11 astronaut Neil Armstrong`s July 21, 1969, ‘first man on the moon' celebrations, so 9/11 was a belated Nazi nein to the US space program, because Iraq supported the Nazis in WWII (1939-45), and ‘crusher’ Saddam was the jaws of the dragon. Although Dr Rusher was an orange, it wasn’t for the SUK to call him a Chew too:


a) Dr Rusher is a Rushon Chew. □


b) Dr Rusher is a Crushteen paedophile. □


c) Dr Rusher is a bloody orange. □


1 Adams, Don as Maxwell Smart ‘School Days’, Season 1, Episode 3, Get Smart, NBC, October 2, 1965.

2 Einstein, Albert Annus Mirabilis papers in Annalen Der Physik Scientific Journal, 1905.

3 NPR, ‘The Long, Strange Journey of Einstein's Brain’, Special Series 1905: Science’s Miracle Year, transcript of an excerpt read on Morning Edition from Postcards From the Brain Museum by Brian Burrell,  Broadway, 2005, April 18, 12. 00 am ET, .

4 ‘Orange's Governance’, .

5 Angol, .

6 Lanser, Susan S. ‘Eating Cake: The (Ab)uses of Marie-Antoinette` in Goodman, Dena, and Thomas E. Kaiser (eds.) Marie Antoinette: Writings on the Body of a Queen, Routledge, 2003, pp. 273-290.

7 Allen, Peter ‘Napoleon Wife Letters Sell At Auction’, The Telegraph, March 28, 2010, 10: 14 pm BST.

8 Eliot, T.S. ‘Hamlet and His Problems’ (1915), The Sacred Wood: Essays On Poetry and Criticism, 1921.

9 Bright, Robin ‘The Juice’ in Collected Poems, 2018.

10  Winterson, Jeanette ‘Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit', March 21, 1985, .

11 Kronlund, Alexander, Savan Kotecha, Shellback, and Max Martin 'If You Seek Amy', Britney Spears, Circus, Jive, 2008.

12 Aarne-Thompson grouping, AT 328.

Well Hung in Russia and Sent to Hungary to Starve

03/12/2012 18:54

Well Hung in Rusher and Sent to Hungry to Starve


Not travelling widely was something I did. Until the Briti government invited me for some more head chuck occasions. Emerging with four `O` levels after death threats, and physical violence, during 11 years of skull work, and having gotten a Diploma in Busyness Studies, and gone on to Higher Head Chuck for a  B.A. (Hons.) on a Combined Harvester program featuring Prattive Religion, and So’s Joe-History, it was Busyness as usual with the girls. Being murdered by men so that they could get on. After being amongst their war dead, it was on to Kong’s Universe City for a PhD, ‘Jungian Archetypes in the Work of Robert A. Heinlein’, and so unemployability, because provenly intelligent. In a way resembling the expulsion from the body of bacterial infection, the Britis offered a 3 month course in teaching English to stud`nts of other languages, and I received a TEASESOUL certificate from the Collage of Three Nits, London, and a City and Guilds’ Level 3 NVQ for a further 1 month’s training in how to waste a human brain by having it teach ABC kindergarten English to fellow astronauts. NVQs (National Vocational Qualifications) are `the secrets of the Masons`, that is, envy queues are for killers, who want to move up and be knights to women instead of you.



 Reluctant to leave a three-storied apartment with own bath, kitchen, lounge, dining room, bedroom and sitting room, NVQ level 4s or upwards are, however, difficult to elude. The Britis’ program was to spy on their global neighbors, according to the `trainers`, who not very cryptically suggested Korea as a possible ‘work experience’ venue. I agreed, but was told it was Hungry for the almost starved in ‘Ull, who’d forgone much in order to study, so were prime beef for the Hungriuns. Forced to sell the furniture for a few beads, like the Indians sold Manhattan, the consumer durables didn’t any longer endure. Packing the big yellow suitcase with all the clothing that could be stuffed within, it was lugged to London’s Heathrow airport, where most, if not all, the contents, had to be discarded as being of a heaviness sufficient to prevent the 747 ‘Jumbo’ passenger airliner from lifting it. Querulously, I misheard, `Even with his ears flapping?`



 Ditching the dinner suit, and the coat hangers, the plane was boarded, and punctiliously arrived at Fairy Head airport, Buttapes, with nothing in the mind, other than the vague awareness that, in Eastern Europe, money talked, and sex could be had for cash, whether hard or not. Prior research revealed that the tongue of the Magyar (Hungriuns), was partly Finny, because obscurely shared with Fishland. After travelling 400 kilometers from Buttapes` Western railway station, Pullover Yoghurt, to almost the Rumonion border. While wondering why I was going to Bucharest, something called Stewart met the bus at a town 1 hour beyond Hungry’s second city of Deepratson, Buryou, with worms plaited into its hair that writhed in the sunshine. Musing on the topic of burial and worms was to recollect that, looking out of Language Wank’s window in Ochyagibberin’, Rusher, there was a memory of being hung off the roof of it by the neck until dead by Morton Wheedle who, in another of my incarnations, had smashed my brains out on the floor of ‘Ull Royal Infirmary, saying that, being a brain surgeon with a wife, and an income approaching 20,000 GBP per month, wasn’t indicative of ‘faith’ (Matt: 17. 20). He’d recommended the ‘Faith’ church in Buttapes as the place to get some.



 Dead, employed, and dumped by Eurasian Transportees Commuted (Etc., etc.), to squat and share mattresses with several other male English teachers on the floor of someone`s flat, 500 HUF a day (£ 1.50), from the still paid salary buttons, rented a summer house, while job opportunities were snooped out, affording a longer sojourn, rather than sloping ignominiously home after 3 months, which was management’s `plan` if nothing turned up in the way of employment for the evictees. Although it was the employer's responsibility to clothe and feed all of us, we were known by the locals as ‘the English beggars`. However, that could've been a pronunciation error. Wheedle’d had a pal, Jiff, who’d struck me dumb. Regressed back to childhood, so that English could be relearned, although I hadn’t any interest in speaking to anyone, belief wasn’t going to be buggered too. Extricating my butt off the floor in the almost undiscoverable village of Buryou, I went to be ‘born in the spirit` from a swimming pool in Deepratson at the local ‘Faith’ church, while awaiting further developments. Apparently, it's where ‘Julies’, that is, girls, look hot on video-cassette, before they're ‘snuffed’ for encouraging adultery.



 Escaping to the Briti Council at Deepratson Universe City, Hungry`s English language teacher training program there was, apparently, run by the previous murderers of my future hopes, Wheedle and Jiff, who were perhaps `still active` within the higher echelons of MI69/11, or its more famous invasive intelligence organ, Bagpuss (1974), an establishment ‘TV’ series about a cuddly toy, which had been devised by paedophiles as a tool for the brainwashing of young minds to accept alien sex with its parasites,  ‘Wake up and look at this thing that I bring.’1 When will Gary, ‘the Hun’, reveal himself?` I mumbled incomprehensibly to my listeners.



 Jiff, in Deepratson, a psychopathic criminal who, once thinking he was working for Griffyndor House at novelist K. J. Railing's famous Hairy Botty character’s Warthog, skull of Watchcraft and Wizzitsme, had an invisible griffin attack, and strike me dumb. With a ‘rebooted’ brain, I’d relearned English, and arrived to find Jiff waiting breezily amongst the Anglophiliacs. While Jiff, Wheedle, and the others, were salaried, I had a bunk. Visited irregularly by a girl from Buryou, I was reluctant to continue the process of dumbing down Central Europe's post-So Feared population; to the point where their English language ‘experts’ could affect a `professional demeanor`, which is what the English ‘native speaker’ professionals called, ‘Working less for more’.



 The phenomenon of laziness masquerading as industriousness was endemic in England. Monkeys want bananas, so the secret of `monkey economy` lies in having the humans produce them. The monkeys, who don`t want development, or growth, but only bananas, represent the equivalent of a human brain disorder. After the males have eaten the bananas of the women, that is, ‘woman’s seed’, the women have to accept the bananas proffered. In fact, scientific research suggests that HIV/AIDS `derives` from monkeys, that is, the monkeys' bananas. The monkeys are effectively homosexual, because they're not interested in the women’s bananas, other than as something to eat. However, as humans produce bananas, the monkeys collectively enjoy whatever banana harvest the enslaved, that is, sexually oriented humans, produce from their dying brains and civilization, art and culture. Banana bred, all humans become monkeys; until the `virus` reigns supreme and the race is lost.



 Although the tree of evolution mightn`t remember how it produced bananas, acceptance of simian behavioralism makes banana growers of humans. Of course, monkey theory is that it has a stockpile of bananas from which it can grow more humans, whereas theories of human development assume that it can grow and escape from the monkeys, and their sex and brain diseases. Individual spiritual and intellectual mental development, based on the desire to eat and have sex in better places, is `wrong` from a homosexual point of view, because it interferes with their bananas. Homosexuals are those who don`t produce themselves, that is, the human race are their slaves in parasitism. Consequently, God destroyed ‘the cities of the plain’, Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen: 16, 19), where sterile sodomy was practiced, and `thou shalt not steal` was God’s broken commandment. In short, homosexuals enslave as parasites for a few bananas, which is why HIV/AIDS, discovered by DR Congo in Africa in 1983, derived from the simian SIV 1 virus. The ‘incurable killer disease’, transmitted by homosexual monkey-fuckers, mixing blood, shit and semen in each other’s anus, became the sexual valence of the capital of the movie industry in the district of Hollywood ‘Babylon’, city of Los Angeles, in the West coast state of California, U.S.A., where in films like Scream (1996) or Saw (2004) many women were murdered, or mutilated for ‘entertainment’, as the product of  homosexuals’ studies of human behavioralism resulted in the mass media sanctioning of `sex slaving` women as a species to steal their bananas.



 Behavioralism is the most simple of psychological theories, so even a monkey can understand it, which is why it’s implemented almost universally. Humans have two physical valences: fucking and eating. From the behavioralist perspective of homosexuals, what's 'wrong' is fucking, because it’s likely to interfere with their desired banana intake. Sex is `wrong` because homosexuals need bananas and not women. Consequently, the homosexual valence is more successful because its aims are not obscure. It wants to live, but it doesn`t need heterosexuality, or indeed women. In defining human sex as `wrong`, the disinterested homosexual entrepreneur curtails the flow of human instinctual development through intellect, that is, spiritual work, so that the humans forget how to build spaceships, and all brains are effectively lobotomized by the lazy banana eaters, who’re more determinist, `Eat all, sup all, pay nowt.`2



 Devouring is the prime concern in Hollywood, where New York is swamped with tsunami tidal waves in movies like The Day After Tomorrow (2004), or in Escape From New York (1981) in which actor, Kurt Russell, as ‘Snake’, endeavors to assist the US’ President to leave the home of `liberty`, a maximum security jail in the scifi future . Amidst collapsing skyscrapers, the inmates seek to prevent 'Snake' leaving  with the President, ‘Tell this to the workers when they ask where their leader went. We, the soldiers of The National Liberation Front of America, in the name of the workers and all the oppressed of this imperialist country, have struck a fatal blow to the fascist police state. What better revolutionary example than to let their president perish in the inhuman dungeon of his own imperialist prison.’2  Feigning amusement at the Americans for not being able to understand that they were making a movie on 9/11, 2001, Hollywood released World Trade Center (2006), while the Yarubeans claimed to be competing for even larger audiences, ‘I don't think you guys realizes this but this country is now at war.’3  Those who tuned in ‘live on CNN’, and other network ‘TV’ channels,4 for the Al Qaeda terrorist attackers’ crashing hijacked civil airliners into the Twin Towers of New York’s World Trade Center, approximated to 2 billion switched on television sets globally.



 The economic valence of the `ape of God`, which is a biblical label for the evil, because they 'ape' humans, is that of the movie, King Kong (1933). Hollywood’s `monkey picture` is the story of a giant ape, who climbs the Empire State building in New York city, because he wants a woman, which is a metaphor for the heights aspired to for a ‘top banana’. Actress Fay Wray, sitting in the palm of Kong’s hand, as the film’s love interest, Ann Darrow, symbolizes the banana-less woman, who can’t grow. Consequently, Fay represents futanarian ‘woman’s seed’, that is, she ‘apes’ food, which the parasites upon the human race’s host womb have fed upon in their wars against her ‘seed’. Moreover, the parasites can't conceive of themselves as being born from 'woman's seed', because they have the brains of bananas. Kong's ascent up the Empire State building is symbolic of the apes’ desire to devour the human race in war, while keeping a firm grip on its stolen banana.



 The setting for the 1976 remake of King Kong was the new 'world's tallest building’ in New York, the World Trade Center, an economic symbol of  the homosexual valence, that is, rough trade’, which expects bananas to grow, while itself remaining sterile. The 20th century's valence was of the `owner` of the `producer`, that is, capitalism as the possessor of the womb of the human host, and its parasitical devourer in war against what she`s able to produce in the way of civilization, culture and art. By the 21st century, ‘woman’s seed' was rediscovered through the masses’ engagement with pornography, which represented greater access to knowledge, and a desire for more leisure, although predictably it resulted in wars of re-enslavement, which was what Al Qaeda’s terrorist attack on the Twin Towers of the WTC, when it crashed hijacked planes into them, was designed to promote. Because God`s plan was to have women reproduce with each other, men`s valence of war in homosexual pederasty against ‘woman’s seed’ was brutally exposed.



 In Revelation the devouring `red dragon` waits in vain, while `the woman clothed with the sun, and with the moon at her feet` gives birth to the `New Redeemer`. The new economics is the product, that is, ‘woman’s seed` is a species with an independent spiritual and intellectual valence. God is woman`s developing of herself as the producer of what she desires, which is herself. Before 9/11, 2001, the `Big Apple` of Kong’s New York city was the articulator of the voice of human civilization, culture, and art. Afterwards, it had to learn to speak. Looking dumb just wouldn’t ever be the same again.


1 Firmin, Peter, and Oliver Postgate Bagpuss, BBC1, February 12 - May 7, 1974.

2 Stevens, Nancy as a terrorist in Escape From New York, AVCO Embassy Pictures, 1981.

3 Shannon, Michael as Marine Sgt. David Karnes in World Trade Center, Paramount Pictures, 2006.

4 Deans, Jason ’16 m Glued To News As Tragedy Unfolds’, The Guardian, Wednesday, September 12, 2001, 16.31 BST, .


Magicians or Teachers

24/06/2012 10:15

Magicians or Teachers


The Japanese have a concept of man in relation to the externality, the concept of 'Mu'. Everything that exists outside the individual is, potentially, part of his/her 'Mu'; or, to put it another way, what appears in one's field of vision/experiential domain is, in fact, 'for us' and, in a very real way, the creation of our minds - 'we get', as it were, 'what we want' in terms of our developmental requirements.


  In the parlance of Jungian psychology what is happening is that the archetype of the "Self", corresponding in religious parlance to 'God', is providing opportunities for personal growth and enrichment, which is where the educator becomes important - as an interface between the child and its internal 'mission'. The usual approach is for the child to be taught that the world is a difficult and dangerous place against which it - and its parents - need to protect it. The result being that the child sees the outside world as a threatening, hostile, alien 'thing', a situation complicated by parents who have problems of their own; child abuse, violence, psychoses, neuroses etc., possibly due to previous problematical educations of their own including false conditioning and social maladaptation. On the other hand, if the growing infant is taught that, for example, the world is his/hers - like a virtual reality film script - to use the latest techspeak - in which the child can write his/herself, but becuause he/she is small and vulnerable, its parents will guide and care for it until it is sufficiently developed enough to access the medium, the child's relationship to, as it were, 'God' is of a directly developmental or 'personal' one, that is, what happens to the child as it grows is aimed directly at him/her in terms of his/her development or progress.


 The use of archetypal symbolism/imagery in pediatrics does not end there, however. It also has a role to play in the developmental understanding of children with dysfunctionalities, for example, it is ofteny - as if by magic - the helical structure of the benzine molecule appeared in his mind. The point here is that, if we can juxtapose archetypal symbolism or imagery associated with, let's say mathematics or chemistry, then those images could help the student grasp the subject more easily - to say nothing of the possibilities for creativity.


 The use of Jungian archetypes and symbolic motifs in the analysis of the unconscious is widespread, but their role as a framework with which to measure/enhance the level of consciousness is not. It is, for example, well known that the unconscious of a woman from Manchester may contain elements from symbolic structures/systems as diverse as Egyptian mythological fragments and Tibetan mandalas, as well as images from the Judaeo-Christian tradition that constitutes her background. The point here being that knowledge of the various symbol systems/frameworks, which would be the task of a Jungian educator, is essential in mapping the level of development/functioning - the chakra system of energy points and their associated mental images/symbols in Kundalini yoga and the system of Sefiroths in the Kabbalah are but two instances of models available for the purposes of such mapping - and also in his/her task of monitoring, gauging and guiding the child's creative potential, that is, through the literary/artistic products of its 'imagination'.



 The role of sex as an educative medium cannot be ignored. The importance of the channelling of libido in ensuring developmental progress cannot be overemphasised. Consultation with experts in the field of pediatrics, particularly with regard to the linking of movement therapy with speech articulation, suggest that concentration upon correct body posture with regard to the crown of the head produces normal individuals at the expense of their creative potential. In Kundalini yoga the third chakra in the vicinity of the solar plexus is described rather poetically as a plenitude of jewels, a reference to its in potentiam character, corresponding in psychological parlance to the wealth of psychic contents waiting to receive actualization in the psyche of the individual, the fruition of which is symbolized in alchemy as the cauda pavonis or peacock's tail, but which might also be described as the 'crown jewels' a suggestion that has both a sexual connotation - in the English vernacular a reference to the male genitalia - and a psycho-physical dimension in terms of the crown of the head or lotus chakra in yoga. Sex or Tantric yoga is, therefore, indicated as a useful form of therapy in assisting individuals who, for whatever reason, are unable to realise their blocked potential due to socio-economic conditioning which tells them that work, marriage and the raising of a family - a situation associated with the third or solar plexus chakra in the Hindu system - should be the zenith of their aspirations, and is in fact 'normal'. Of course, vested interests may have a role to play. There are elements of society - Freemasons, for example - whose goal is to maintain the status quo and keep the mass of people at a low level of consciousness becuase they are easier to manipulate that way. Emphasis in Christianity, for example, upon logic in the form of Logos rather than Eros may have been necessary for the channelling of libido into the creation of a technological approach, but at the expense of the brain's as-yet unmapped capacities (a human being we are told uses only 10% of its potential); in other words, the field of Eros is a territory which needs to be opened up and fully explored if an individual is to maximize his/her intellectual/creative potential.


 With regard to youth culture and, in particular, the taking of drugs and the need to find a solution to the problem of those seeking to recover from substance abuse, recent experimental studies in the field (see Appendix 2) suggest that the use of symbolic structures and archetypal frameworks in the environment can be useful in producing a therapeutic relationship between individuals and what often seems an alien and hostile world surrounding them. Results indicate that the use of symbols in the externality as iconographical tools - just as one might 'click' on icons in a computer - by focussing one's energies upon a particular motif, produce effects associated with that particular 'icon', thus creating a more creative, playful and harmonious relationship between 'subject' and his/her reality. The therapeutic applications for those  experimenting with drugs is great - and I am not an advocate of such methodologies, but if it's going to occur isn't it better to give those undertaking this self-examination or research exploration into inner space all the information they might need in order to survive it?.


 But there are further far reaching possibilities with regard to future scenarios in connection with this concept. In theoretical physics there is a very famous experiment (see Appendix 3) in which an electron gun is fired at a target. A camera placed next to the target records that each electron arrives as if travelling in a straight line. However, further observation reveals that, in spite of appearances, if the electrons are watched by technical apparatus at a point midway between gun and target, they show signs of deviating from the direct path and, as it were, choosing one amongst many alternative paths to the goal, that is, each electron chooses from a plethora of possibilities within what the phsicists describe as a 'probability wave', a notion that gave birth to the theory of parallel universes or multi-realities and which has some significance for us in our concerns with transcendent consciousness or higher levels of functioning. In short, the extrapolated conclusion would be that, if human consciousness can be said to be responsible for determining the reality which it inhabits, then it must also be possible, by changing the level of consciousness or neurological functioning - either developmentally organic, biochemically, or some kind of fusion of the two approaches - to choose which world to inhabit or even produce alternative worlds through the power of what Jung referred to as creative imagination. The notion of world-as-computer offers the further possibility of individuals being able to simply 'ask' for and obtain what they require, which quite possibly is the area of experimentation for those elements of the drug culture with enquiring minds?


 The question of whether or not moving objects can be categorised as having the attributes of icons is one which brings us into the areas of behavioural psychology and what I have described elsewhere as 'human hieroglyphics', an ancient form of symbolism familiar to us from Egyptian temples and, to take a rather less well known example, the Tarot deck of the seer in which the posturings of the characters depicted in the twenty-two major arcana are associated with the hieroglyphical forms of the twenty-two characters of the Hebraic alphabet. And what of Yin and Yang, the male and the female? Indian temples celebrate the acts of physical love in three-dimensional stone carvings, so what would a study of the 'hieroglyphics of human sexuality' reveal?


 Ethical questions remain to be resolved for advocates of this biochemical and developmentally organic approach. On the one hand, is it appropriate to intervene pharmacologically in the growth process?. On the other hand, is it desirable for an individual's awakening libido to be channelled into sexual rather than mental activity and vice versa? In the end the decision has to be for the individual concerned, the task of the developer or educator being one of guidance and as a facilitator of choices already made.


 The proposed study requires the stimulation and observation of the creative imaginations of subjects in relation to the available symbol maps in order to ascertain what, if any, correlations exist between the 'maps and the territory' of the collective unconscious, and the implementation of a programme resulting in a description of the effects produced in the environment by a creative interface between hum difficult to ascertain in infants whether they are highly developed in terms of mental activity - or they are mentally deficient. The use of an archetypal methodology using sound and visual stimuli of an archetypal nature - and the careful monitoring/gauging of the reactions on the part of the infant to this input - can both determine the level of mental activity and, perhaps, assist in facilitating the infants' individuation. The same techniques can, of course, be applied in organically assisting the developmental progress of 'normal' children. By using appropriate archetypal material within the framework of textbooks or computer programmes alongside the usual illustrations and diagrams etc., these images can act as catalysts for developmental/individuational impulses. To take an old example of the sort of thing I mean, a Hungarian scientist working on the structure of the benzine molecule dreamt one night of a serpent eating its own tail, a central motif in Jung's theories of individuation, and the next daan consciousness and the world-as-computer as oulined above.


 The use of hypnotherapy and, perhaps, hypnotic hallucinogens to facilitate the unlocking of  the individual's self-awareness and requirements in terms of his/her potential and goals (part of the battle for individuational growth is discovering just what the person concerned wants from life, before using techniques like archetypal imaging and hypnotic autosuggestion to get them moving away from whatever they thought their problem was and towards their self-discovered and, if the Jungian educator is doing his/her job properly, self-programmed destiny.


 A study of the effects produced by the 'hieroglyphics of human sexuality' involving sex therapists/therapy and analysis of the static image as found in pornography of the 'Playboy' or 'Leo' types as well as cinematographically is also indicated. As is an Investigation into the role of  prostitutes as 'sex therapists' in cases of disturbed individuals with sexual 'handicaps', that is, developmental dysfunctions with a sexual basis, for example, a man who seeks to hurt himself with a knife may be involuting a desire to be hurt by another person, a desire which might have been channelled into sexual playfulness had the need been diagnosed early enough, a case that could still prove to have a developmental outcome if the 'therapist' - or, rather, prostitute with her proven 'emotional control' and 'can do' attitude in encounters with the psychotic or disturbed - knows what to do. Advantageous in the sense that it would provide us with an opportunity to both legalise, sanction and train the 'oldest profession in the world' and also provide much needed individuational therapy for a strata of society that both requires it and, not to mince words, needs to be made 'safe' for the rest of us.


How To Get A Job In TEFL

12/02/2012 12:29

How To Get A Job In TEFL


Walking into a language `studio` in Buttapes asking for a job, they said, `Send us your CV.` E-mailing back that there was work, `with some companies`, sleeping all through the next day said something of my enthusiasm. Often a `dummy` lesson is required, and the dummy shows what it can do. Old hands throw away the textbook and demonstrate their skills at juggling; playing the guitar (simultaneously), and making those useless items from empty round Dairy Lea cheese slices boxes, and squeezy Fairy Liquid detergent bottles, which they show you how to make on BBC TV`s Blue Peter (1958-), and that invariably turn into a pipe rack. Without fail, it gets the nod.


 Attention drawn to the `window` of a classroom where a Philupyournose (with coke) teacher had written on the board: `It is raining yesterday.` He`d been through the interview process, and it was a ‘demo’ lesson. However, somehow they`d missed the fact that he didn`t know the difference between the past and present tenses. `Hey Mark!` we hailed him afterwards. `What was you want?` he retorted. `What`s the past tense of the verb `to be`?` we wanted to know. `You is joking,` he snorted, `any English worth his mustard know the pass tense is `been`.` Mark was reputedly among the chunkies addicted to heroine, who was often heard to describe her lifestyle as 'blowing chunks'.


 Mark was still working there when I left. The stud`nts liked him because he knew less than they. It was encouraging for them to operate under the umbrella of one who had as little clue as themselves about the present. He was also pleasant, which might not get you a job. However, it`s certainly how to keep one. I can`t manage pleasant, but I can do polite. I`m afraid that the idiocies of stud`nts would drive me crazy if I tried pleasantness. It`s too close to friendly for my liking. I can be warm and polite. However, pleasant and friendly doesn`t sit well with my teaching machinery. Stud`nts ask you to have tea with them and meet their mothers. I`ve never met a `mom` yet who looks like the Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima (1981-) and I consider the invitation a broken promise if she doesn`t.


 ELT tools become dulled when it`s about maintaining relationships and that rapport much spoken of by management as essential for the smooth running of a group. You spend all your time being `accessible` and `flexible` that time passes and the stud`nts have forgotten to open their books because you didn`t have time for that. The secret for the true ELT professional is - chocolate. It produces the same chemical in the brain as when you are in love. I scientifically ate bucketsful of the stuff in Poe-Land when teaching at the Lęgpork Grammar skull there, the SLOTH, in 2000. The chocolate made me feel as though all the children loved me, which is useful if you`re loathed and despised for trying to enable them in speaking your language. It was no accident either. I`d done research on the internet. It was either chocolate or the empathogen-enactogen psychostimulant drug, MDA (ecstasy), I`d decided. There was a group of mainly young male adults to explain myself to in 3b. The brisk conversations we had amongst ourselves were of a type:


T: `Okay, today we are going to use our writing books.`

S: `You are a fokwat.`

T: `Please open your textbook - the blue one - at page one-hundred-and-ninety-seven, `How to write a letter in English to a friend (not a busyness letter).`

S: `Dear fokwat. We is love you.`

S2: `You is a fokhed. Sincerely.`

S3:  `Yours is faithfully fokwat.`

T: `Notice that the letter begins with the address, in the top right corner, of the person you are writing to, and do not forget the postcode.`

S: `Mr Fokwat Teacher, 6 Fokwat street, Fokwat, Fokshire, F-O-K, You K.`

T: `Your address is written on the left opposite the addressee`s.`

S1: `Good Polished man, 10 Excellent street, Very Good Polished Town, P-O-L-S-K-I #1, Poe-Land.`

T: `Very good [polite but ringing under the blows of the assault to my ears and sensibilities]. After that, begin with `Dear...` and then the name of the person you are writing to.`

S2: `Dear Fokwat, you are the best teacher. I am in love with you. You are the best we have. I want to have rabies with you.`

T: `No,` I say, `you mean `babies`.`

SS: Frowning in puzzlement. `No, rabies.`

T: Sighs heavily. `Chocolate anyone?`

 The children were `reaching out to me`, when they weren`t reaching into my pockets. I had 500 Polished złoty lifted from my jeans during one draining excursion into the all-but-prison-in-name we euphemistically `taught` at. Though their teacher was in receipt of only 1600 złoty a month (about $1,000 US), a young woman did, in fact, `reach out’. `I love you.` said Anya apropos of nothing at all. `Anya, she is for you,` Maya demanded of me in a classroom further along in my teaching schedule. `You can press your suit,` Maria illuminated me as I gathered up my bumf towards the end of another doom-laden day of diphthongs and declinations. `Decline the adjective `good`,` I`d command. `We don`t want it,` they`d say.


 Anya was 13, I was nearing 40, and the local church was 200 meters away. I handled the affair by sedulously avoiding eye contact with the marriage-makers and pressing on with the possessive, `We always put an apostrophe after the noun to indicate that the noun belongs`, I tell them, knowing full well that they hadn`t any idea of the meaning of the word `belongs`. `So, if the chair belongs to Jane, we say `Jane`s chair`,` I write it on the wipe board. Always stress words they don`t know, to make them think that they do, and stop them asking you questions - they`ll ask the person sitting next to them. `The chair is belonging to Jane,` they explain me, `no apostrophe required.` `No,` I patiently demur, `the chair belongs to Jane. It is Jane`s chair.` `It`s my chair. Jane can`t have it. Let her buy her own fokkin’ chair,` says a helpful class member. `Let`s hit her with it,` says another. `I understand,` a clever devil tells me, `Jane`s a chair.` `No,` I scan the heavens for mercy, `Jane`s a young woman (never let female stud`nts know that you think of them as anything less than wise old women). She is not a chair.` `No, she`s a chair,` responds the clever devil, `that is, she has a chair. The chair belongs to her.` Broken, I weep.


`She’sus wept` (John: 11. 35) is of course the shortest phrase in the Boble. There are much shorter ones in my phrasebook: pithier too. Although the in person application, or `walk in` is productive in terms of employment, they might upset your equilibrium by suggesting `training`. Bullitz centers require a series of role-plays, for example, between a prospective hotel guest and the receptionist:


Hotel: Scene 1


`Do you have a room for a single person?`

`Do you mean a room for one, and your wife or mistress is coming later? In which case you can have either a room with twin beds or a double bed. Or you are single and are going to invite an unspecified number of prostitutes to stay with you for an unspecified amount of time (in which case you can have either a room with twin beds or a double bed). Or you want a single bedroom because you want to invite an unspecified number of prostitutes to the hotel at various stages in your stay here for an hour or so of `fun` each time, and you`re too cheap to pay for a double bed and/or too embarrassed to tell us, that is, the hotel management, what you are planning to do. Or you are a boring loser and you want a room with a single bed because there isn`t going to be any action?`

`A bed for one person, please. I`m happy with my hand. Do you have the adult version of Disney`s `1971 movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks on cable?`

`Okay, that`ll be twice as much as the double or twin bed room then. For being nerdy.`


  Hotel: Scene 2


`Hi, have my bags arrived yet?`

`Who are you?`

`I rang earlier, I`m Jerry Tribblethwaite from earlier when I rang. Have my bags arrived yet?`


`Sorry, it`s with my bags. I rang earlier.`

`No passport [makes tiny scridgy marks on letter headed hotel notepaper].`

`I can pay. My credit cards are with my luggage.`

`Can`t pay [makes even scridgier marks].`

`So, you see how it is?`

`Yes sir. You have no ID, no money, and no luggage. You`re a street person and an `alien`. Please remove yourself from the hotel foyer, there are customers waiting.`


Hotel: Scene 3


`Hi, room service? This is Herbie Postlethwaite from when I rang earlier. It`s been four hours since I ordered coffee. Where is it?`

`Just a moment sir ... The rooms` attendant says she left a cup at the door, sir. I expect it`ll be cold now.`

`Why did she leave it at the door? Am I supposed to push a straw underneath it and drink from a recumbent position?`

`She thought you might be naked, sir. She says she heard noises suggestive of bath water.`

`Please send her up with another cup and assure her that I shall be naked.`

`Yes sir.`


 It was `teaching the invented other language` that defeated me. The others were much cleverer at inventing words; like `giboba` and `geboba` meaning `to go home` and `to be at home` - allegedly. Showing ‘em two fingers. I carelessly enunciated the word `*u*k` before, placing the thumb and forefinger on one hand together to make a circle, thrusting the index finger of my other hand inside the circle repetitively to underline the meaning. Needless to say, I was surplus to requirements on that, and possibly every other, occasion.


  At one point in my journeyings, in 1996-7 several Buttapes’ language skulls, that is, ‘nyelviskola’, claimed my services. Bull on Tulips & Nuts St., Lungeamore across the Danude (there’s a suspenders’ bridge between Butt and Apes), which is opposite Orange Janus #3 Metro station, Mutterlang on Fishukrodi, near Pullover Yoghurt, the `Western railway station`, Intapint near the ELTE Pay Universe City, Bottom Rung at Call Vin #4 Metro station, and Planeat in Meal Square. Spreading it about is necessary, because a lot of nyelviskola won`t give you full time employment, so that you remain a slave; living hand to mouth. As everyone is a ‘piece worker’, `moonlighting` within the ‘black economy’ is unavoidable, because the companies of the East expect to win by taking all of those of the West’s pieces who can’t make it onto the bored.



 Proofreading is a staple. Hired in ‘96 by Hungry’s Institute for Head Chuck Occasional Research (CHOIR) to write their CRAP (Centre Raison d'être pour d'Alma Pont) report on Higher Heads, while shuffling around dust-laden corridors at the former So Feared Institute for Removing Potatoes (IRE), there’d be invitations to correct papers. Often just a comma, or a single letter, in a document of a few pages, would require correction. It was a ‘top up’, because the salary was inadequate. Though grateful for the handout, it’d have been starvation without it.


 Being careful about what you agree to do is important. With a job at N.Y. Elvskulls teaching at GG Drek, an architect`s firm in Butt, they wanted a text proofread, which was time-consuming, technical and specialized. There was a time limit with no extra payment on completion. Shortly after, N.Y Elvskulls dispensed with my knowledge and expertise. GG were typical in that they thought learning Busyness English was about how to keep the English busy, that is, they were slavers. `How many beans make five?` I’d begin. `Five,` they’d tell me humorlessly, and I’d ask, `How do you spell `beans`?` ‘P-I-N-S,’ they’d say. ‘No,’ I’d tell them, and write B-E-A-N-S, ‘which is the plural of the noun bean.` `How much is a tin of beans in Hungry?` I’d ask. `Skodas are about 5 million HUF [about 11,000 GBP],’ they’d tell me. `How many tins make five?` I’d drill. `Five,` they’d tell me, and how do you spell `tins`? I wanted to know. `T-E-E-N-S,` they’d say and, writing T-I-N-S, I’d say `the plural of the noun tin.` `How many beans in a tin?` I’d ask. They’d shake their heads nonplussed, ‘You have to get them into the teens,’ they’d say. `Yes,’ laughing mirthlessly, ‘and it depends on the bus size.` `You are German,` they unsmilingly asseverated. Understanding had been reached at the summit.


 In the UK there are professorial chairs who`ve gotten their positions by adding up the number of times the word `but` appears in Shakespeare`s (1564-1616) plays, before another of Academe’s buttheads accepts it as publishable research. Everybody is a specialist in ‘informatics’ in Buttapes, which is  geekspeek for IT, although they’re encrypters. Hungry learned the art of secrecy from successive occupations by the Germs (1944-45) and Rushons (1945-89). Now they secrete, decode and encode, while receiving the title, `Informatician`. It`s reminiscent of the former So Feareds’ awarding of the Order of the Toenail First Class to the local podiatrist.


 Having problems with my laptop, an acquaintance suggested an ‘Informatician’. Despite the ridiculous-sounding title, surrender of the laptop saw its returning with all the information lost, and a brand (Microsoft) spanking new Windows Vista (in Hungriun) installed. A few years later, another laptop in need of a tune-up was returned with an entire drive missing. With vehement aloofness my acquaintance vouchsafed, ‘Stolen.’ Expertise in informational technology isn`t confined to Eastern Europe. Walking into a computer shop in Riyald, after careful examination of the ASUS netbook, the Informatician announced, ‘I can do nothing.’ At a second IT genius’ shop, he announced, ‘There is nothing on the hard drive.’ Thieves and criminals. If you`re any sort of a creator, back up your work, and never let it be seen; until you`re ready for that. Elsewise, it`ll be whipped out from under your nostrils by someone with a nose for a Hollywood-bound script, and about as much respect for you as you have for the English language stud`nt who, carefully scrutinizing your face for the solution to which verb requires the ‘s’ ending for the present simple third person singular, smilingly wipes his bogies down his shirt (leave blank if you feel no verb ending is needed):


Q1. The egg boil victoriously.

Q2. Shakira go like a leopard on coke.

Q3. The bus stop for Marilyn.

Q4. The rain in Spain fall mainly on Susan Boyle.

Q5. He love kangaroo droppings.



 People are too stupid to use the `s` ending on the end of the verb for the third person present simple,1 so let them not use it. This latest statement from US’ linguistics suggests dumbing the population down even further. On US’ ‘TV’ shows, especially `streetwise` characters, `He the man.` Dressed up as `smart` by New York rap musicians, `She got it.` However, making the `s` at the end of the verb optional, or not required, is a way of telling people you think they`re too stupid for words. Getting a job in TEFL is difficult enough, without telling the truth: disgruntledly.


1 ‘Needs washed’, Yale Grammatical Diversity Project English in North America, Yale University, .

Dr Rusher in Russia

12/02/2012 12:01

Dr Rusher in Rusher


The pitfalls of being an English language teacher are many and varied. Take my wife, for example; people seem to. On my passport, it says ‘single’. However, among the first words the director of a Rushon branch of Language Wank, London, said to me, when I arrived in August 2003 in the city of Ochyagibberin’, in the state of Bashyourears, were 'Your wife's here.' What to say? 'Oh,' decidedly, 'where is she?' It all seemed straightforward enough. 'We will take you to her,' said the director, whose name was Giselle ('Gizu' for short), and she introduced me to her brother, Fares, whose name is Yarupric, and basically means 'knight in shining armor'. They were Muzzlems and, to push the fantasy elements a tad further, if you look at the map you'll see that Bashyourears, a state of the Rushon Feed Her Asians, is in the shape of a wolf's head. Its inhabitants (roughly half Muzzlem, half Rushon Crushteen paedophile Orthodox) are therefore known as 'the people of the wolf'. Stif Stalin, the murderous Rushon dictator, used to draw wolves' heads in the margins of signed death warrants; sometimes for thousands of people at a time. I hoped that the knightly Fares and his sister would prove to be what I needed to keep the Rushon wolf from the door, where I lived in the inevitably, but unimaginatively named, 'Lemon' apartment block, which was named for Ilyich Lemon, the revolutionary of October 1917 that, when the Rushon Tsar, Nicholas II, was murdered for taking over command of the army, resulting in a series of defeats against the Germs, established the Commonest theories of German Karl Marx`s Das Kapital (1868) as the basis of a new state, wherein `workers control the means of production` and give all of it to the government: sharpish.



 Although Commonest thinking couldn`t grasp the fact that women were the means of production, because women were the reproducers of inventive human brainpower, through futanarian `woman`s seed`, the resultant ape-like simian consciousness host womb slaved in parasitism. As `TV` manufacturers, they were the producers of wars entertainments for the alien pogromer, so were successful `TV` apes, which rather more accorded with French novelist Pierre Boulle`s 1963 socio-historical program, La Planète Des Singes (Planet Of The Apes).


 Waiting to see if Gizelle and Fares would unite me with the fabled missus, while watching Chechnya`s capital city, Grozny, being raised to the ground in the Northern Caucasus, Rushon Feed Her Asians `TV` broadcast the pictures to the capital city of the Bashers, Ufo, and the region of the Ural mountains beside the Volga river where they lived: to deter revolution there among the Muzzlem populations via `TV` remote control. Of course, there are Rushon Chews too, which raises tensions in the population, because of the antipathies between Yarubeans and Chews since 1948, when Egypt; Jordan; Iraq; Syria; Lebanon; Saudi Arabia, and Yemen attempted to invade, and prevent the creation of a Chews` state in Palestine, which was given to the Chews after WWII`s Nazi pogroms. As the Germs` extermination of 20, 000, 000 Chews in `death camps` is understandable as the alien vampire`s wanting to muzzle God`s `TV`, and prevent it from having any juice, so that God`s program couldn`t ever be seen, the Rushon Feed Her Asians of `Vlad` Puttin`, that is, the Tartars and Bashers, were the political juice allowing his influence to remotely control the rate at which the Muzzlems holed out against the USA in the Crazy Golf War to prevent God’s women from getting airborne on their eagles’ wings.


 In the `Slammer of the Muzzlems pictures of the human body are `haraam`, that is, forbidden. If pictures of the sexual reproduction of the human futanarian species of `woman`s seed` were disseminated, people couldn`t be defined as `TV` pictures to be devoured by men’s wars. As men and women, whose warmth  manufactures themselves as a single male brained transvestite wearing each other’s clothes, the `TV` has to be warmed up, which is what politicans do. They control the `TV` remotely by deciding which ‘set’ gets the juice. As the evil `TV` god of the Johns in Egypt, Set, dismembered, so `woman`s seed` wouldn’t be able to reproduce the brainpower she needed to escape host womb slavery in parasitism to the Yarubean pogromer, who wanted to convince everyone to prefer the geometric patterns of `Slammer art to naked women and, thereby ensuring the extinction of humanity, made another US’ victory for Moslem ‘TV’ certain. What the Crushteens hadn`t understood was their acceptance of the Rumun Umpire`s perspective. She’sus didn`t have any balls, because he was a celibate, and not having balls were what peoples were for, because that was pornography. The human species of futanarian `woman`s seed` wouldn’t have any brains, and the Crushteen paedophiles muzzled the women in bondage, so that they’d ‘do it like dogs’, while they chewed on thoughtfully after each failure to prevent another `TV war`.


 Having taught that day in Ochyagibberin’, morning and evening, would they take me to my wife? Unfortunately, no; it was getting late: maybe tomorrow? Rushon `TV` was turning me on, and turning me off again. Between 1973 and 1995 in the UK, there used to be a BBC kids` show, Why Don`t You Switch Off Your Television Set And Go And Do Something Less Boring Instead? (WDYSOYTSAGADSLBI), which is what Crushteen paedophiles do. They manufacture children as their ‘TV’; to watch them being switched off in their wars. Brief reports continued to be received on the status of my putative wife, 'Yes, she is still here.' However, 'No, we cannot take you to her.' Remaining single, in accordance with my documentation, was torture. The ‘wife’ and I had become Rushon `TV` entertainment.



 Alone, there was nothing to be done. The solution was to throw myself into work, and so it began. Teaching the small groups of children that came to the several storey building-undergoing-renovation in which, ensconced at the apex as the sole imparter of the English tongue, the teacher competed with the sound of road drills, rivet guns, and cement mixers. However, it was all in a day's work for the deaf ears of he who earns a living by wearing ear plugs. A stud`nt, Crushedin, on a wise day of the bleak grey moon, said 'I have something for you.' Fearing it was an opportunity to impart the English tongue, it was nonplussing to hear, 'A gold Blue Peter badge.' Awarded the highest honor in English BBC Children's `TV` in the mysterious heartland of mother Rusher, it was nevertheless an obligation laid upon me by the pogroming of the suiciders to reject such gifts as illegal fraternization with the stud’nts’ bodies.


 In 1999 in Lęgpork, Poe-Land’s SLOTH gymnasium, the girl, Anya, had given me a boxed gift set consisting of a watch, pen, cufflinks, and key ring. Giving it back on the strength of a careful reading of the employer’s contract, section 4, subsection paragraph iv, line 234, ‘no fucking with the kids,’ wheel teaching was resumed at  the Konk Carlid Military City, Dalek, Pseudi Yarubeer. Dutiful attendance was required at the male nurses’ passing out ceremony. Presented with a wrapped package in recognition by the NWLFH (North West Legged Forces Hospital), it was the boxed gift set with the same watch, pen, cufflinks, and key ring.


 Wearing the watch almost continuously until accidentally cracking the glass, while driveling and drooling on in Sedan, Kartomb, for Oxfudge Internal Nepotism (OIN, K, S). I'd a habit, as stud`nts don't like you checking your watch to see how much more of your precious time you have to spend with them, of leaving the watch on the desk; so that it could always be covertly seen as I banged on about the stupidity of Americans who wanted to leave the 's' off the end of the verb when using the third person pronoun. That`d make it easier to learn English, and have us all sound like morons from a white trash can. So fulminating, and gesticulating too wildly, misfortunately the watch was knocked off the desk and broke on the tiled floor. Though getting the glass replaced, and the works repaired, was difficult, there was a motif on it, a golden Eiffel Tower. Perhaps a gift from Paris Hilton?  We’re all blind if we can’t see the woman’s penis:


`Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine.`1



 Crushedin, who didn't give up, would 'keep the badge safe', and shortly said, 'There’s something else in my bag.' It was a Hugo. Named for Hugo Gernsback (1884-1967), a science fiction writer and critic, Hugo Nebula Awards were given by the Science Fiction Writer's Association of America (SFWAA). Assuming it was for a PhD written on US’ SF writer, Robert A. Heinlein (1907-88), whose Starship Soldier (1959) inspired the 1997 movie Starship Troopers, I put it on the desk, `If you wanted to teach a baby a lesson, would you cut its head off?`2 Sure enough, there was a small brass plate with Hugo Nebula Award stamped into the perspex in black lettering. Seconds later, `brother` Fares walked in; picked up the Nebula and walked out with it. Looking at Crushedin`s boobs perplexedly, she glowered in annoyance. The Nebula, and nightly on her, had been forever lost.



 There’s a logic to the unusual. Going to Rushon from Buttapes, where .hu is the internet country code for Hungry’s domain, Ochyagibberin’s coursebook was Go, so it was as Dr Hugo that, Self-Begetting, Self-Devouring: Jungian Archetypes in the Fiction of Robert A. Heinlein, Milford Series, Popular Writers Of Today #70, Borgo Press, 1997, had been schizophrenically written by Robin Usher as his PhD at ‘Ull Universe City. Only awarded a pass for a doctorate, in Monopoly terms it was clearly PASS GO, and collect a Hugo Nebula Award. Some play Waddington's Monopoly, and MB Games' Mousetrap, while Real Madrid buy Gareth Bale. There's no law against being as crazy as a bedbug, although there’s getting caught and undergoing brain destroying electric shock treatment.



 On the subject of imprisonment, Gizu had photos of internees at a summer camp she'd attended as a kommandant, or summat. 'That's Tomsk,' she'd indicated a face, which caused me to chuckle. 'No, it isn't,' I'd said, 'that's Tum.' He was an American ’s that’d been at Deepratson shortly after the fall of the Commonests in Hungry in `95, where I'd been exploited on a Briti Studies’ program. Receiving the equivalent of a month’s unemployment benefit in the UK, as a member of the Deepratson Universe City staff, those employed by the Briti Council received the monetary equivalent of a flat each financial quarter. Although 'Gizu' was adamant Tumsk was Rushon, 'dumbass' Kupper wasn’t. At my rented flat in Deepratson, we'd watch actress Lara Flynn Boyle as Donna Hayward’s Twin Peaks (1990-1991) and actor Kyle McClachlan as FBI agent, Cooper, saying 'Damn fine cup of coffee!'3 It wasn’t. It was awful.



 Language Wank arranged for me to be a Summer English Skull (SES) kommandant at Bolyiregs's Ural Regional Experimental Head Chuck Occasional Scientific Complex. With an appellation like that, where would the cages be? With a friend in Hungry, whose father and mother were Rushon teachers trained in Lemongrad in the 70s, they’d a collection of KGB (Committee for State Security) medals from the old So Feared system, 'This one is the Hero of the Soviet Workers Award, which was awarded for sewing buttons on the uniforms of the Pioneers [Soviet Girl Guides], and this one is the Hero of the Soviet Revolution, First Class, which was awarded for removing buttons from the uniforms of the Pioneers, and this one is the Hero of the Revolutionary Workers of the Soviet Union Award, which I received for counting the buttons ...'



 Hungry, along with the rest of the former Sore Pecked (1955-1991) countries, had rejected the formerly compulsory Rushon language, Комите́т госуда́рственной безопа́сности (Committee for State Security) in favor of English as their skulls’ second language. Hungry’s mum and dad had to retrain. He put his finger to his lips, and put my friend in a rabbit hutch before poking her with a stick through the chicken wire, ‘Caged  she be.’ At Bolyiregs summer camp the teachers were called 'cameras'. If there was an accident with a stud`nt, they’d rewind the film. If Petrushka was left on the cutting room floor, she was footage wasted.


 A stud`nt at Language Wank, Ochyagibberin’, was Rosa Delishichy, who wore long, black evening gloves to keep off the cold Rushon winter. Offering to take me home with her in a taxi, Fares and Gizu, the captors of the unseeable wife, were loathe to allow me to roam too far from the prison gate, 'We'll come with you.' Prohibited by contract from fraternizing, the invitation was regretfully declined. France’s Emperor, Napoleon Bonaparte, probably felt the same without his Empress Josephine, when exiled on the island of Elba, after his defeat by the Duke of Wellington at the battle of Waterloo (1815). Mapping out the boundaries of the death card, with Fares and Gizu as the guards’ borders, so far as relationships were concerned it was always going to be, 'Not tonight Josephine.’4


 Rosa bought me a Rushon to English, ‘and back again’ like Bilbo,5 dictionary, which is essential for an ELT pro` travelling through the farmer’s So Feared Onions. It's never too long before it's demanded of you, 'Why you don't learn our speak?' The myth is everyone wants 'native speakers'. With a teacher willing to learn their language, and teach them English, they can then abuse him/her more meticulously. Similarly, having learned what the Holy Al Coholic church teaches, they abuse others for not understanding, so they`ll be forgiven. Certain that heaven is their reward, God`s paedophiles award teachers and students the portion of that eternal unendurable pain they’re in a position as administrators to apportion; in the devout belief that their partners in the learning process deserve it.


 That language learners want 'native speakers' is bogus. They want 'bad words in English', which is always forestalled by saying, 'I don't know any.' 'What does 'fuck' mean?' a Yarubean asked me malapropos; as they do. After explaining that such words are ‘haraam’, that is, forbidden, in English language teaching, if he wanted to know, Olde Irish `og` meant `egg`,6 and etymolgists suggest `og` is a linguistic root for `fuck`, which bears some relation to the pollination of flowers by bees. He wrote a handwritten apology on vellum parchment, which he dedicated to ‘Allah’, and the Brafit M'mumhad, Screwed up, it was chucked into the wastepaper basket unread, ‘Blessings and peace be upon him [BPUH].’ Abusing the teacher, for insisting that he’s pronouncing Mr Robot`s name incorrectly, is symptomatic of stud`nts. A colleague's name was posted on the door of his classroom, ‘Rebort’. It’s no surprise that there’s never a robot around when it’s wanted.


 Yarubeer`s stud`nts commonly use 'nigger' to distinguishing themselves from blacks. I patiently explain that you mightn`t expect to leave the room alive if you called a fellow stud`nt `nigger` in the United States. However, blithe they are in their ignorance it’d be nice to see them get `bitch slapped` by Barack Obama in a Chicago bar, state of Illinoied. Pharmacy shelves in the Muddle East are stacked with skin whiteners. Reactions from the language skull in Riyald to the premature death in 2009 of pop musician, Michael Jackson, were disparaging because of his using skin whiteners. It`s a norm in the Muddle East that`s largely ridiculed. American blacks are perceived by Yarubeans as 'disrespected' by the United States. Consequently, they practice calling Americans 'nigger', like actor comedian, Chris Rock, in Rush Hour (1988), `What`s up, my nigga?`7 I tell them, ‘Michael was the same age as me, and I can dance better than him.’ 'You?' they jeer. 'Better than him now,' I say, and vogue, poutingly, 'I'm bad!'


 When not working abroad, or staying at the converted sack room above a bakery, known locally as `W.C. Buttapes`, because it was either install a toilet, or crap in a plastic bag and leave it to be refused, before it was habitable, it’s a return to East Yorkshire's more prosaic environs of Kong`s Town Upon ’Ull. As it was in So Feared Rusher, living where you want to in England is verbotten by the sim (eon) `phone card wielders, `the sons of Kong`, who cite the movie, King Kong (1976), featuring a giant ape atop the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York city, with actress Jessica Lange as Dwan, held doll-like in Kong’s tight fist, as the model for their terrorism, which requires the corralling of known thinkers to isolate the contagion. In King Kong the ape is released from where it’s been corralled by DR Congo and taken to the USA, where Kong is subsequently depicted planning the defense of ‘woman’s seed` and the WTC before the September 11, 2001, terrorist attack by ‘the sons of Kong`. Rediscovered by DR Congo in Africa in 1983, the transmission of the HIV/AIDS ‘killer disease’ variant of the simian immune virus (SIV) by homosexual monkey-fuckers’ mixing blood, shit and semen in each other’s anus, was attributed to the feared Kong. Using their ‘sim’ cards to activate their ‘phones, ‘the sons of Kong’ had corralled intellectuals in ‘Ull to prevent a return to Indo-China.


 Only going back to England when ‘skint’,8 that is, penniless, the rule is to return to the last place you resided in before leaving, so it’s always ‘Ull. Tertiary skulling took place at ‘Ull Collage of Further Head Chuck Occasions (H.C.F.H.C.O); ‘Ull Collage of Higher Head Chuck Occasions (H.C.H.H.C.O.), and ‘Ull Universe City (‘U.U.C). As with internal exile in Rushon, there’s no escape. Before returning to Hungry to continue working on the script of Star Wars & New Rope, corralled amongst ‘Ull's poorest on the 17th floor of the Moanthrope block of flats at Charred Pork housing estate, which ‘death camp’ was demolished a couple of years later to conceal the atrocities, strolling on the lawn, or paths outside the ugly monolith, unwanted furniture would narrowly miss heads as it came hurtling down from upper storey flats’ windows.


 The perennial question from each new class of hard-of-hearing students is, 'Where you are from?' I tell a story of ‘Ull. The Briti map using the OED software installed for the Smart Board reveals Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, Stoke-On-Trent, Berwick-Upon-Tweed, and Stratford-Upon-Avon, 'Birthplace of the immortal board.' As all of these places are built on rivers, ‘Why do you suppose the name for the city is ‘Ull? Shouldn't it be Kong?’ During the English Civil War (1641-1651), the fop Charles King came to town with his moustache-twirling cavaliers, and the round headed people there, who’re now called ‘the sons of Kong’, cut off King’s head, and implemented Parliamentarian rule. ‘Because King and Kong were people,’ Armored suggests, ‘whereas ‘Ull is a river.’


 As rules are what keep us alive, we learn. In the classroom, don't have relationships with stud`nts, and don't accept presents; to avert the scandalmongering of sexual favors and 'bribes for grades'. Some of us follow the rules. However, they can be a straitjacket. In Syria at the Al Forats Petroleum Company in Terrosaur, a stud`nt, `Goliath', put a suitcase atop my desk. Unzipped, it revealed bundles of Syrian pounds (SYP). I exclaimed joyously, ‘The hackneyed suitcase full of money!’ 'Your sister is here,' he told me, 'we will take you to the bank and help you spend it,' he informed me. Judging it impossible that she’d arrive with SYP bursting, help wasn’t needed in the spending of it, `Can I see my sister?` Offended that anyone would want to see a woman when she should be muzzled beneath her burkha, Goliath closed the suitcase and walked off with it. 'A mistake,' he ground the words out through his teeth. The SUK in Riyald wasn’t nearly cheer enough after that.


 Similarly, in Dalek, Pseudi Yarubeer, at the Training Centre military personnel came and gave me a cheque, 'What's it for?' I wanted to know. I asked the Philupyournose with coke administrator, Levi Strauss, how much it was, because it was in Yarupric. He said, 'Quite a lot.' Pinoyed pay is lower than a westerner`s, which is what annoys them. Salary is based on spending power in country of origin. However, he suggested depositing it in the Star Bank where we cashed our salary cheques inside the wheely big Konk Carlid Military City, where I was working among the big noses on wheels. No way. During a Dalek weekend, refused by several banks when asking for cash, or to deposit the cheque for a debit card, at the Riyald Bank, an administrator told me a car would take me to the airport, where a plane could be taken to fly to Riyald where the cheque could be deposited. The car duly arrived with the woman, Rabat, who I recognized. However, as women aren`t allowed to drive in Pseudi Yarubeer, there was a chauffeur, a ventriloquist who`d persecuted me with throwing his voice, before finally killing me on a metro platform in Chuck Square, Buttapes. He couldn’t be trusted to carry an ice cream in winter. Didn`t getting into the car, I left.


 The cheque was still pocketed a year later when, after arriving at London, Heathrow, and stayed at a village hotel, in a fit of pique and/or despair, it was torn up and flushed down the toilet. Receiving small cheques sometimes for science fiction stories, later I knew what I should have done. Because `All For Nought Ufonaut` appeared for Sam`s Dot Publishing in Shelter Of Daylight (2010), there’s a framed cheque from the editor, Tyree Campbell, for US $ 10 drawn on a bank at Cedar Rapids, state of Iowa on the bookcase. I could cash it. Thinking is what keeps us alive.


 In Bashyourears, Ochyagibberin’, Gizu and Fares had broken away from Language Wank to set up on their own as Double Plus + + Good Language Wank. However, contract bound, it was an obligation to stay with Language Wank, and Rushon headquarters in Ufo determined on a new Muzzlem director, Yevgenya, 'Call me Jane.' With her brother Peter, it was a thickening plot, As the spayed was raised, it toppled into a freshly dug hole … For Crushteen paedophiles, She’sus was celibate, which is as good as castration, and is what paedophiles crush teens for. They don`t want adults. They want children. Consequently, She’sus paid for their Redemption in the sense that he represented the child victim, who could be tortured to death, while the torturers received forgiveness. That’s how Crushteen paedophiles think. According to the Gran of Islam, there was a man called Isa, who was crucified, but it wasn’t Isa, who wasn’t. In other words, Isa’s crucifiers were Isa, which is why they’re redeemed by Isa. They weren’t Isa. They were Isa’s torturers, which is why they think they’re forgiven. If they’d been Isa, they wouldn’t have experienced forgiveness, because Isa was tortured to death, which is torturers’ logic. For the sinless tormentors, as a celibate, She’sus was spayed in advance of the death of ‘woman’s seed’. With my putative wife in the grip of the Rushons, who wouldn`t let go of their victim`s balls? 'Jane' had been a stud`nt with Language Wank, and brother Peter too. It was a typical East European Cold War scenario, `May I torture you teacher?` Of course, that’s what Crushteen paedophiles’ ELT is for. Local thugs want to torture English speakers for fun, while being assured of forgiveness, because they’re She’sus, while describing their torment of the foreigner as `political`.


 Setting about the busyness of exploiting my knowledge of first and second conditionals, everything went relatively smoothly until, one malapropos afternoon, Peter asked, 'Will you marry me?' As a male lesbian, that is, a man who prefers women, it wasn’t a good suggestion. However, it doesn't pay to upset one's employers; especially in the Feed Her Asians (1991-) of pagan Rusher’s. With one's wife still captive, and oneself still single, who knows how many Asians would be bacon on a BBQ, while the Yarubeans turned the spit, and watched their eyes explode, which is what happened to Bum Honest Pitt, `Man Of The Year` for 2004, when his class was taken from Muckfield infants` skull to the Institute for Active Pubescents (IAP) in Riyald. Stoically soldiering on, wondering if the wife was fed, why wasn’t it that I hadn’t been prepared for this by the TEASESOUL trainers?


 Hoping Peter wouldn't begin to wolf-whistle, when I began teaching the class he'd decided to be a part of, was to be reminded of the wolves in Stif Stalin's doodlings. The statues of the fathers of the October 1917 Commonest Revolution, `Vlad` Lemon (1870-1924), Rushon Marx Brother, Karl (1818-1883), and Joanne Stephanie Stalin were pulled off; after the So Feared withdrawals from the Sore Pecked (1955-1991) countries in the late 80s and early 90s. Although there was still a statue of Lemon in the town square of Ochyagibberin’; to remind everyone that this Feeder Hated state of Mother Rushon's was Commonest. Perhaps Peter was looking to be a Rushon bride, and escape with me to the west?


 'We've been told to give you your freedom,' said Peter to me one day as we awaited the usual posse of stud`nts. It’s advisable to think of them so. Fear their mercilessnesses, while expecting to be hung with about as much ceremony as it takes to open a bag of Lays` potato crisps, which of course are ‘chips’ to our American cousins, because of stakes, and the fact that they all want to have one in a good lay. Asking a vampire, that is, a stud`nt, 'What did you think when the Americans hung Saddam?' He’d been about six years old during Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's invasion of Kuwiat, but forthright in his condemnation of the US, 'They should cut off his head with a sword, but not this ..!' Angered, he was at a loss for the words needed to express what he felt. The well hung try to ejaculate into more than their pants. Hussein, whose name meant `crusher` and `small handsome man`, was `Slammeric.  Me, I'd try to fake the orgasm. Australian rock band INKS' former lead singer, Mitchell `Rabbit` Hutch, used to put a rubber noose round his neck, and bungee jump until he came with his cock inside chanteuse Wylie Pinochle, and his next, The Tube (1982-1987) presenter `Baller` Yetis (1959-2000), wore black after he miscalculated, and didn`t come to see his sodden end.


 'Just walk out,' said Peter. I gazed out the window at the forbidding Rushon street scene, 'I am not a number. I am a free man!'9 I said, quoting the late Patrick McGoohan's character, 'Number 6', in the surreal 60s tv serial, The Prisoner (1967).  However, as ‘the sons of Kong’ would’ve pointed to their sim cards, because men and women worship them as the ‘false gods’, which they are forbidden to do by God in the Bible, everyone is a prisoner of sim eon man: ‘Let he that has wisdom understand; the number of a man is the number of the beast and his number is six hundred three score and six.’ (Rev: 13. 18) As ‘woman’s seed’ is logically 33.3% of the human species, men and women are 66.6%, that is, 666, so they’re beasts for not allowing human reproduction. Moreover, reproduction would increase women’s percentage of the vote. Consequently, the beasts are a dictatorship, rather than a democracy: ‘The second beast was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that the image could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed.’ (Rev: 13. 15)  McGoohan had been ‘secret agent’, John Drake, in Danger Man (1960-2), a previous `TV` series, and The Prisoner was a Cold War setting in which he fought the interrogators’ psychological warfare perpetrated against him as the tortured, Christ-like figure, ‘Number 6’.


 Bound by the rules of the contract, the appearance of the day's motley crue of misspellers, mispronouncers, and Miss Rushons (sometimes it’s hard when you're a teacher), was miserably anticipated. For years since, the decision of the parole board for time-served English language teachers on probation has vacillated over whether to spring me or not. McGoohan's character would attempt to discover why he was being held in architecturally bizarre Porthmadog, Wales, and who was keeping him there? For Peter, I could sleep in the gutters. I had the freedom to starve: `Oh those Russians …`10


 Going almost every day to the local park with a statue of Lemon, which was kinda yellow with bumps at each end, and with a packed lunch after my morning shift with the dozy articles and the gormless gerunds, one day walking towards the traffic roundabout, where the street to the park was, it wasn't there. Standing back, and looking around, everything seemed normal. However, the street was different to what should have been there. Checking my bearings, steering a straight course, it’d be possible to turn right around, and come back to the start point. Walking for two kilometers or thereabouts, there was ne'er a sight of the park, or a sound from the Lemon statue. Turning around, and walking out of the street at the traffic roundabout, going back to Language Wank for the afternoon shift seemed the best course of action. The next day, lunched in the park as usual.


 It wasn`t long before Christina Aguilera, and some of the others were in my classroom, showing us her latest CD, Back To Basics (2002). Inspiring a round of applause, she left without signing autographs, which suggested everyone else already had theirs. Actor John Goodman, Dan, from Roseanne (1998-2018) had sat in a café near Lemon`s park,  and actor Jonathan Frakes, who was William Riker, Cpt. Jean Luc Picard's # 1 aboard the USS Enterprise in Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994), strolled. Peter drew my attention to Princess Diana (d. 1997), 'She says she's you,' he said. 'I'm a man of many parts,'11 I off-the-walled. Dejected after Peter, 'the Wolf', had asked to marry me, and I'd refused, Peter said he`d make me a 'small man'. Shrugging haplessly, memories of Goliath’s SYP returned to haunt. Saddam Hussein, whose name meant `crusher`, and `small handsome man`, had been well hung, before his skull suspension. If I had multiple personalities, snuff scenes would keep down the population. Turning from the whiteboard to the bored whites, I endeavored to raise some interest, `The - ing ending is the gr-unt, which in Hungry is a word for `shirt`, while the Yarubeans are often defamed as ‘shirt-lifters` for the simple reason that …’


 Religion’s always tricky. Quaffing gallons of Grid Balls energy drink in Yarubeer to stagger from class to class six days a week, and the 23 ¾ hours indentured servility, tho` a slave, boiling in the sun, and eat tinned chicken that at least looks like spam, while listening to the loudspeakers from the local Meringue intruding the wailings of the Molars into the living space through the air conditioner in the 10 m2 hotel room. There, where there’s enough space only for a bed, and a teevee under the sound proofing of the bedclothes, it’s another night of hourly quaking in fear of the Muttawahs sinking in their canine teeth, and dragging you off to the carpet woof.


 Whenever the stud`nts saw the distinctive red and silver checkered Grid Balls’ tinny, an indication of Baal worship, the nascent Muttawahs began their dogmatic assertions about how bad it is. For a westerner, it isn’t understandable that this is a religious attack on the grounds that you aren't muzzled. What they're actually saying is that you are bad, which is identical to the belief system of the Crushteen paedophiles. Mainly for the amusement it affords in being embarrassing, the pastor at the Heat church in Buttapes points to a passage and asks, `Do you understand?` When in ‘Ull, England, the Energy Action Team (HEAT) means tested the aged to see how quickly they were empowered to help them die of hypothermia. Do I understand? Me, who studied Buttism, and Tha’ Did See Trolls? Slap my palm with a ruler if I don`t accept this insult to my intelligence.


 The Buttapes’ Hít was a Cold War church set up to administer Commonest belief after its politicos gave up. Claiming that, having written Self-Begetting, Self-Devouring: Jungian Archetypes in the Fiction of Robert A. Heinlein, Milford Series, Popular Writers Of Today #70, Borgo Press, 1997, I had embraced the demon of intellectuality, like Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, who wrote about the Rushon slave camps in his 1973 Gulag Archipelago novel, they showed me a sports' hall, where they watched apparently demoniacally possessed intellectuals running around the track before blacking out from syncope, which is what happens when the body requires all of the oxygenated blood, so the brain is starved of oxygen to the point of a minor stroke. The Rushon Commonests used to make artists, like theater producer, John Bok,12 and scientists, for example, physicist Andrei Sakharov, clean lavatories for their intellectual demonism. When the dancing at the Bolshoi, or Kirov ballet, became so good that it appeared as if clockwork, they broke their legs.


 There`s not much more boring than an Evangelist’s Donny Osmond smile. They ask, 'Are you saved?' Turning down the ‘TV’ screen brightness control when the Osmonds were on Top of the Pops (1964-2006) in the 70s, you could see nothing except those white choppers of theirs flashing at you out of the darkness of the box. 'Yup,' I tell them. The smile means the conversation`s over. Don't try for more. It’s a sign of doubt. If no explication or exegesis is needed, you're done. Go back to ogling the naked babes in Club International, and watching pop temptress’ Shakira vidz. God’s definable as ‘good’. Like Traci Lords in Splash X (1984). No one in it`s getting cinematically shot with a magnum .45 to persuade me that`s fun,13 and I should take a Glock and blow away a few skullkids in Finland. If there’re any blows, I'd rather it were Traci.


 Explaining that you think it's possible there are alternative yous, the death camp guards bring it to your attention that it’s impossible, because ‘You’re a child of God, one and indivisible.’ As a member of the single independent species of ‘woman’s seed`, it’s evident that marriages are slave rings, whereas the collective consciousness of humanity is undivided. Accused of living in two places at the same time, it isn’t a crime. Clearly there was concern that the human race was winning its fight for lebensraum. Looking at evil people, and religious people, it’s uncanny how closely their views coincide.


 Filling with horror, they talk about bringing the slave rings of Crushed and Holler to the unbelievers amongst the planets in the heavens. As the first man on Earth’s lunar satellite, Apollo 11 astronaut, Neil Armstrong’s was the first step to bringing genocide and insanity to the cosmos, ‘One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.’ (July 21st, 1969, UTC: 2. 56) Jesuits crucified the fauna of the New Worlds of the Americas, 'Nail that lama up.’ And the Antipodes, ‘That koala's slipping off. ' The heart grows cold when it thinks of their possibly encountering more beautiful, and culturally advanced, civilizations. In Hungry, Saint' István I (967-1038), said that everyone should be converted from Shamanism by means of the sword, ‘Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.’14 Shamanism is the worship of ‘false men’, who correspond in the 21st century to the sim guards with their corralling ‘phones posing as gods, whereas they’re actually urbane gorillas patrolling the borders of the funereal cards of the human ‘remnant’. As the enlightened orangutan scientist, Cornelius, in Pierre Boulle’s 1963 novel, The Planet Of The Apes, says ‘Beware the beast Man, for he is the devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death.’15


 Language Wank's new location in Ochyagibberin’ for their English language movie, Peter and Jane Screw Yours Truly (2004), was my future in their past. At Moanthrope flats, ‘Ull, once asked to go over to the administrative building, and duly arriving to be greeted by two men in dark suits and ties, shaking hands they explained there were two 'ships' for me. The ship’s manuals were each about telephone directory size, or as big as my doctoral thesis had been, ‘Jungian Archetypes In The Work Of Robert A. Heinlein’, which was 100, 000 words, and 612 single-side-typed pages. Having written such a weighty tome, and not wanting to read another, the starships’ manifests were dumped into the nearest municipal rubbish bin, despite the fact that the pair of MIB types offering them to me had said they’d take me along to a place where I could peruse them at my leisure. However, the prospect of further study, or research involving my building a warp drive from scratch, or solving the equations necessary to the successful construction of working teleportation equipment, just didn’t grab my balls.


 The premise of the movie Men In Black (1997) is that of policing aliens with permission to live on planet Earth, while also protecting humanity from them. The presence of Will Smith (1968-) dilutes the element of racism that is ever-present in tales of xenophobia, just as his role palliates the negative elements of slavery in the Isaac Asimov (1920-1992) scifi yarn, I, Robot (2004), although it’s obvious to a gender expert that it’s the humans who’re being patrolled. Robots would make life easier for ‘woman’s seed’ on the brink of being extinguished, which is why scare-films like, I, Robot, in which people are terrified of losing their jobs to machines, are made, ‘You charge us with your safekeeping, yet despite our best efforts, your countries wage wars, you toxify your Earth and pursue ever more imaginative means of self-destruction. You cannot be trusted with your own survival.’16


 There were so many 'native speakers' from white South Africa in Riyald, it was like being a refugee from the thinly disguised nostalgia for racism of the Johannesburg setting of the science fiction film, District 9 (2009), ‘When dealing with aliens, try to be polite, but firm. And always remember that a smile is cheaper than a bullet.’17 Although the South Africans speak Afrikaans as a first language, they’re among many non-English nationalities, for example, Americans, who lay claim to being 'native speakers'. England is the only place where 'native speakers' come from. Unless some heavenly bodies can be found speaking it. Losing out on Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-94), explained the presence of Jonathan Frakes in Bashyourears’ Ochyagibberin’ tho’, ‘Oh, Commander Riker?' ‘Yes, you have ships? Hand 'em over - nicely.’


1 Garibay, Fernando, Ralph McCarthy, and Sheppard Solomon `Stars Are Blind`, Paris Hilton, Paris, 2005.

2 Heinlein, Robert A. Starship Troopers, G. P. Putnam`s Sons, 1959, Ch. 5, p. 63.

3 Cristina, ‘Phrases From History: “Not Tonight Josephine”’, A Blog For English Lovers, Saturday, August 24, 2018, .

4 MacLachlan, Kyle as Dale Cooper in ‘Traces To Nowhere’, Season 1, Episode 2, Twin Peaks, ABC, April 12, 1990.

5 Tolkien, J. R. R. The Hobbit, or There And Back Again, Unwin, 1937.

6 `Og`, .

7 Rock, Chris as Detective James Carter, Rush Hour, New Line Cinema, 1988.

8 ‘Having no money’, .

9 McGoohan, Patrick as ‘Number 6’ The Prisoner, Series 1, Episode 1, ‘Arrival’, ITC Entertainment, 1967.

10 Farian, Frank, Fred Jay, Hans-Jörg Mayer, and George Reyam `Rasputin`, Boney M, Nightflight To Venus, Atlantic, 1978.

11 Usher, Robin May I Torture You Teacher? Vol. 3, JustFiction Edition, 2018.

12 Cameron, Rob `John Bok - Former Dissident Still Driven By Anti-Establishment Zeal`, Radio Praha In English, January 27th, 2003, .

13 Allen, Nick ‘Finland School Shooting: Gunman Planned Massacre For Six Years’, The Telegraph, September 24, 2008, 6. 14 am BST, .

14 Neil Peart, Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson ‘Circumstances’, Rush, Hemispheres, Anthem, 1978.

15 McDowell, Roddy as Cornelius in Planet Of The Apes, APJAC Productions, 1968.

16 Hogan, Fiona as V.I.K.I (Virtual Interactive Kinetic Intelligence) in I, Robot, 20th Century Fox, 2004.

17 Automated MNU (Multinational United) Instructional Voice (Humvee), District 9, TriStar Pictures, 2009.

Serious in Syria

12/02/2012 11:57

Serious in Syria


Noticeable to an EFL teacher in Syria in 2003 was the ubiquitous mien of President Bashar Al Assad. It`s an ambivalent ambiguous depiction of the country`s head of government that gazes down upon you at every turn. From giant billboards overlooking highways and pedestrian walkways; to smaller scale giant framed versions bedecking any and every public place. From washrooms and carwashes to restaurants; libraries; supermarkets, and yes language skulls. It`s a sad sight in many ways, a not despotic; dictatorial or menacing look. World-weariness, rather, at having to have had to pose for such a portrait; knowing the strange usage it would be put to: the quelling of enthusiasm. It`s reminiscent of Frans Hals` The Laughing Cavalier (1624); for some reason the eyes in the painting follow you about the room: but not jovially. Mr Assad aims for grey neutrality. However, the same strangeness pervades the sandy and verdant scenery of Syria`s towns and cities; a feeling of being followed about the room by eyes that seek to know all about you: without joviality.



 Charmed by the strangeness of the new initially, in Western countries the cult of the personality isn`t elevated to such an art form. We have stars; the East has politicians. We have Britney Spears, and Shakira; they had Lech Walesa, the Polish revolutionary, and Rumonion dictator, Nicolae Ceausescu. Conned for a while, the omnipresent face of the local god bestows an air of adoration, if not affection, familiar from Janet Jackson tour flyers, and Cher concert posters. However, it also comes to mind that this is not necessarily a bad thing. Living in Buttapes, it`s batten down the hatches time when the next big rock monster act comes to town. What will they want? What will be the damage? Can the insatiable cravings for the new and grotesque that will be demanded by stars like Madonna, or Beyoncé Knowles and her entourage, be satisfued? These are the questions posed by Western freedoms in the cities of the West.



 Syria, on the other hand, has no such dilemma. It`s unlikely that Madonna (the Great Whore of the West in the eyes of so many in the East) will ever tour there; because President Assad has absolute control. He`s the star; albeit a grey one. So there`s no damage to speak of; he won`t allow it. That makes for many grey days following after many other grey days, and superseded by many more grey days; but secure ones: systems win. If there are no grey men in position to maintain a system that protects, then it can`t preserve for the good of all. Certainly they`re grey people, which is what one notices as a teacher. Muzzlem stud`nts in Syria, as elsewhere, are dull to the point of beyond ordinariness. They don`t seem interested in life, or the living of it, which is noticeable throughout peaceful musicless Yarubeer. They pray a lot. However, there`s precious little jigging about by the side of pools with wet T-shirt competition. Gospel churches in New Orleans are winners when it comes to expressing jubilation. However, for absolute disinterest it`s devoutly the `Slammer. The drabness of lives lived in the Muddle East suggest that, if joy is what they`re praying for, God`s taken home his balls.



 In almost all of the discourse I had with stud`nts, the subject of food was highest on the agenda, and not all of them advocated a fatwah upon the teacher, `What is good to eat and drink?` An entire semester might pass while the obese discourse gathered momentum. Congraulating each other on how they`d been able to scope out that milk was better than coca cola, conversation classes could go on for eight hours a day, and dialogue was not on the menu, `Grid Balls energy drink. Very bad.` Required to speak, while they gleaned information, and picked the teacher`s brains of any material thought useful, I always liked: `Are you married?` As it was Yarubeer, a marid is a djinn, so it was evident that the teacher was expected to accept that he was marid. When they asked about offspring, I`d announce in the style of Aminanabra that the progeny of my marid years were, `as numberless as the sands in the deserts and the stars in the heavens`, while the stud`nts revealed how well versed they weren`t in culture by gawping nonplussed before asking, `Is that more than tow?`



 Syria`s Terrosaur was so polluted two stars were visible throughout the whole of the night sky on any given evening, `Where is GCHQ?` The question was always dodged; even when it came as a surprise: it`s too obvious. The lamest, and most enthused over topic, because it was universally enjoyed amongst the dull, who worship repetition, was `What`s your favorite food?` The answer is `Kapsa.` As always, because it`s chicken and rice, and everyone without exception consumes it by the bucketful every day. The answer is always, `Kapsa.` In fact it`s a conceivably exotic dish, because it`s any meat and rice. The local delicacy is dab, a lizard, which the Yarubeans go into the desert to shoot and kill specifically for variety in their meals. Eddy Izzard could be sitting next to you on the plate. I failed any written sentence containing kapsa, because it wasn`t English, and felt better for it.



 Yarubeer is the place where they throw more food away than anywhere else. It would appall workers with the starving in Africa, and getting five or more square meals a day, how huge the amounts of rice received with a piece of meat that looks like a zit on the face of God in comparison to the ocean of rice surrounding it, and is largely disposed of as being surplus to the needs of the diner. That the obese display such dour inconsequentiality in conversations, which consist mainly of exhortations, and perorations, on the advisability of stomaching goat cheese in opposition to chocolate, is laughingly ironic.



 I had a lengthy serious discussion with a stud`nt who gave me handwritten directions to a supermarket, where it was sure a copious supply of a fruit drink combination that consisted of strawberry and pear was to be obtained. Like it was crystal meths. Milk is all I ever drink, and coffee. However, in a supposedly alcohol free environment (the stud`nts go to Bahrain to reputedly binge drink, while ogling lap dancers), a great deal of thought is given to what`s `delicious` for the jaded palate. Coming out of the desert, where supplies of water and food are sparse, it`s amusing that the Yarubeans close their shops five times a day to pray, while the food and water that they used to pray for in the desert is unattainable. In their cities they`ve rebuilt the desert conditions they left, so as to provide themselves with the sparsity they`ve perversely recreated. Sitting fuming in the mid-day sun for half-an-hour beside the closed doors of the local Othaim supermarket, all you want is a tin of chicken frankfurters (as are the Chews, pork is forbidden as `unclean`, and so is `haraam` or forbidden), which brings it home to you. They`ve reconstructed desert conditions, so that you can`t get water or food when you need it. Sitting outside a bookshop on a Wednesday afternoon waiting expectantly for it to open, and it`s discovered two hours later that you`ve been waiting in the boiling heat for an event that isn`t going to take place until Friday night, isn`t laughable.



 What passes for serious conversation with a group of stud`nts was on the subject of shopping at the malls. In England it’s going shopping early in the morning; eating breakfast; browsing several shops for the gadget wanted (an mp3 player); listening to the sales` assistant`s pitch; having lunch; taking in an afternoon movie; going to a restaurant after the movie, and a nightclub late on in the evening, before going home at 2.00am or 3.00am, and never once having to consider opening or closing hours. From experience and feedback from the stud`nts, it was deducible that, in the Muddle East if an mp3 player is wanted, dashing to the nearest mall, while hoping it isn`t prayer time, to accept whatever is available, and leaving before being chucked out by the mall guards at the call for prayer, or arrested by the religious dogs, the Muttawah, for possessing a device known to reproduce Western music (mine had ‘Barbie Girl' by Aqua [1997] preprogramed into it (and which is about as anti-`Slammer as can be gotten), is the rule. Hour long taxi trips from a room at Swine Fever hotel to go to the bank, where it`s normally discoverable that busyness can`t proceed, because `the system is down`, so paying another twenty quid to go home again is advisable, proves it.



 The Yarubean populations are not so much downtrodden as bored senseless with the trivial and meaningless. In a mall that of vast proportions that was a part of a chain of such, asking for the shop where a DVD of Mariah Carey could be bought performing a track, `Touch My Body`, from her album, E=MC2 (2008), the reply was that there wasn`t a single place in the entirety of it that would sell me a Mariah DVD, However, if I took a taxi to another of their malls up the street a few kilometers or so there was a shop there that could satisfy my bizarre request, `In my imagination I'd be all up on you.`1 Taking the taxi and far from optimistically arriving a shopper said that what was wanted was was up that way at some nebulous distance into the future and, after walking nearly four kilometers in a depressed slump, eventually it was time to give up and go home beneath the stars.



 In Yarubeer the neon lights of the streets compete and win against the stars in the heavens, and those upon the Earth, like Mariah. All the lights are on, and everyone is home but you. The stud`nts listened to a tirade half-apologetically and shrugged helplessly; they understood they nodded: but what could they do? If I`d spent my life there, as they had, I`d know where to go and when. Not having a lifetime to study shopping hours, and the contents of malls, from the West, where everything is available everywhere, searching for what should be freely available isn`t a part of the plan. The Yarubeans warn you when you apply to work there. However, it isn’t preparation for the long hours spent in your room listening to the drone of the air conditioner, because you`re scared to make the mistakes that are going to spoil your day; if you try to perform even the simplest tasks that will make daily living easier. Going out to buy milk, and coming back with four liters of Laban, which tastes a bit like flavorless yoghurt, is just one example of the pitfalls attendant upon thinking you know what you`re about. It comes in the same container as milk, and has similar packaging. However, getting home with a few liters of Laban, when you didn`t want sour coffee, is a regular instance of the mistakes that accumulate to wear you out and make you despondent. Shopping is a chore, and it isn`t fun. When even buying milk has its terrifying aspects, it doesn`t make any kind of sense to do other than limit oneself to the basics, so to avoid prattishness.



 Asked if religion plays a role in an English teacher`s approach to working in non-Crushteen paedophile environments, praying is a part of what`s needed. Head bowed beside the TV, all is violence and news reports about it, and the daily disasters overtaking the planet. I go to the `Faith Church` in Buttapes, and was born in the spirit of the waters of a formerly Commonest swimming pool in Hungry`s second city, Deepratson, in ‘94. At Easter, 2010, thrown bodily from the service, they would have done the same with the Rushon writer, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, who received a medal from ‘Vlad’ Puttin’ in 2007, long after his book, The Gulag Archipelago (1973), detailing the former So Feared labor camp, resulted in his freedom, but not mine. Despite the fact that I`d been through two electronic checks for knives, and the portable rocket launchers they feel assured known terrorists will attempt to smuggle in inside their windcheaters, it was chucked out time for the writer of May I Torture You Teacher?, Vols I, II, and III. As Kurt Vonnegut`s Tralfalmadoreans, observing the meat packing inanity that`s humanity in his science fiction novel, Slaughterhouse-Five (1969), pithily remark, `So it goes.`



 In my room in Syria I embraced an ancient practice of sleeping by the light of a white candle in the belief that it would have a positive spiritual effect on my life. It`s an Al Coholicist procedure; particularly during All Hellos Eve. During processions in the streets of European towns to the Commonest mouseoleums, where candles are placed next to the resting places of the diseased. The idea is that, on this night, the worlds of the spirit and that of the material are close together. So it is that one uses a white candle to try to unite one`s spiritual nature with the benevolent powers of the cosmos. In Hungry they call the Holy Spirit by the name of ‘Szent szellem’, and the whiteness of the candle is supposed to have evocative power with regard to the Spirit of the Lord She’sus, who`ll be down the mouseoleum like nobody`s business if there`s a chance of some cheddar. My stud`nts would tell me that, if you believe in the Brafit She’sus, you are a man of the `Slammer. I`m a believer, and I don`t see why any church should have the right to eject the peaceful adherent once it`s clear they`re not carrying a Kalashnikov or hand grenade cluster. Anyway, I`d pray in my room in Terrosaur for peace of mind and strength to carry on my own teaching work - by the power of the Paraclete; if She’sus would be so willing. However, still having to give eight hours of conversation each day, it ruined my speaking voice, while giving me an infection that, after a passing Hungriun suggested it would ultimately result in death, provoked a removal of the uvula, that is, the first line of the body`s immune system, so increasing the weakness of a heart affected due to the inability of some gob parts to absorb toxins.



 Teaching, inevitably, at a training center run by an oil company, the All Forats, there were tough days. The house I`d been given a room in was a part of a square that contained one of the ubiquitous Meringues you find in any and all the `Slammeric cities. This in Syria`s Terrosaur (built by the French, and most famous for its suspension bridge) woke the neighborhood, as indeed it was designed to do, at 5.00 am each morning; so by 7.00 am I was aboard the company minibus scrunched in like tomatoes in a box, with the colleagues we started with, and those we picked up in the course of our tedious meanderings through the potholed streets of the often rain depressed town. Slaved until around 5.00 pm, there was then a bored and boring half hour for prayers to be said, and drivers to be corralled, before setting off once more on the tedious meanderings that gently emptied our greyed lives into the greyer streets. Until we came to the destination that ten or so hours ago had been our point of departure: as prisoners taken to the quarry to break rocks before returning to their cells.



 The course book, again almost inevitably, was Headoff Elementary through Pre-Intermediate and as far as Upper Intermediate. My pupils were oilmen in their thirties and forties; though it`s not sure that all of their eyes were mine. The air conditioning was so loud as to drown out any possibilities of actually being heard speaking; unless a megaphone was taken into the classroom, which was a more than serious consideration. Leaving at the end of three months, ill from the pollution from the permanently unreplaced filters of the air conditioners in the training center, almost the whole time in Damascus was spent in the bathroom vomiting into the toilet bowl, while awaiting a flight back to Europe. In fact, on some occasions, the uvulitis was about convincing the life in me to remain concealed there behind the shower curtains.



 Conversations at the training center between stud`nts and staff generally took place in the cafeteria; an area that should also have had `health hazard` clearly marked everywhere in indelible ink. Starving, mad or bored enough, you might risk going in there. Faced with the alternative entertainment afforded by the teachers` room, where a window could be stared out of at a red brick wall some several hundred meters away, or a copy of the several thousand Gran (1810 - 1832 pm) read, which litter litter Yarubean countries like confetti at a wedding, the attractions of the cafeteria were found irresistible. All other books being seemingly banned, and all copies of the Gran being in inscrutable Yarupric, gravitating towards the company eaterie at lunchtime, the inhaling of some gruesome concoction through a mini shisha or water pipe seemed persuasive. The activity itself filled with nausea, and probably led to the bouts of vomiting in Damascus; as well as the weak heart and tonsillectomy. Poisoning of the uvula was, doubtless, the result of some viral, or bacterial, contamination; originating in the snorting of that awful preparation from that disgusting apparatus.



 A `friend` showed me how to snort, and then offered the snorting contraption. It`s widely believed by the foolish in Western culture that one should indulge in local customs, so endearing oneself to the locals by one`s willingness to experience the richness of the delights they have to offer: bollocks. Eat meat from a tin (cold); take vitamins; drink milk; buy bread; oranges, and clean the teeth regularly. It ensures health and is a prophylactic against local contagions and bowel complaints. Eat most anything else and it’s a  semi-permanent squat over a hole in the ground whimsically labeled, `WC`. Oh, and when you go for number 2s, you`re supposed to scrape the residual shit off your arse with your fingers afterwards; before rinsing them under luke warm water from a communally shared hosepipe.



 Partaking of local culture is a recipe for disaster, and avoid expat relationships too; that`s just an excuse to binge drink and fulminate against what everyone wants to call `towelheads`. Western culture is all about repression. It hates what it represses, and that`s why the West was so successful in the Crazy Golf War. Don`t call people names, but hate them for the names they won`t let you call them. In Muzzlem Yarubeer affectionate headlines were often about the Muzzlem `Pak` Prime Minister or the `Pak Army` at the Kashmir border. However, if I were to describe anyone as a `Paki` in England I`d be likely to experience public opprobrium; shunning, and even violence. That`s the difference a letter of the alphabet makes; the difference between accepted Yarubean journalese description, and racism. Prince Harry take note; if you`d called your friend a `Pak` instead of a `Paki`2 no one would have blinked.



 In the UK we`re sexually repressed to the extent that interest in the female form is restricted to top shelf newsagents. In Europe porn is available, but it`s viewed on screen; as if prisoners are being watched in a cell. In Pseudi Yarubeer kissing in public is punishable by a prison sentence, and homosexuality is widespread. This is what we are educating ourselves into; repressed hatreds. How many films do we see in which violence towards women is the main feature, and yet we laud the hero who protects one of the women. Until it`s her turn? It`s a con trick. What we`re being told is that sex is disgusting, and no one should be interested in women`s bodies. It`s misogyny that has at its heart the desire to attack or imprison women. As a syndrome, it was studied at ‘Ull Universe City (1980-86) on my ‘Women In Literature` course. Rochester, in Emily Bronte`s Jane Eyre (1847) marries her, while keeping his first wife, Bertha, in the attic, because she’s `mad`.3 Eventually, Bertha burns Rochester`s house down from her eyrie, and he`d placed her there because he was unable to satisfy the full extent of a woman`s sexual needs. Given the fact that the human futanarian species of women have their own `seed`, that is, their own penis` semen, it`s hardly surprising to learn that Rochester couldn`t satisfy his wife. It`s simpler for men to call women `mad`, and imprison them; in top shelf newsagents’ Nuts and Zoo magazines where the women in the zoo can be clearly seen to be in want of some nuts.



 Inside the flatter, blacker, 21st century `TV` screens, humans are prisoners of truncated expectation, because the `TV` women haven`t got anything to speak of. The `beast` of Revelation, that is, men and women, who`ve manufactured themselves as a single male brained creature wearing each other’s clothes as a transvestite, have invented the `TV` that blinds itself, and so so switches itself off. `TV wars` are its alien racist`s color control, and its flat, black mass media ouput, is its remote operating system. Accusing itself of spying on it, it blinds itself by killing itself, and so its brainpower is reduced to those simian levels of brain dead unconsciousness planned by the remote controller, whose role is that of the alien pogromer seeking to maintain the human race in host womb slavery to a parasitical killer that wants to watch humanity die for its entertainment. Without sexual reproduction between women, human brainpower will be extinguished on `TV live`, and mankind won`t be born among the colonized planets amid the stars of heaven above from `woman`s seed`, because the alien will have switched off the `TV` without humans ever seeing what they look like.



 In Syria women wear the usual full length, head wrapped with eyes only peeking out, black burkha. It`s a Playboy magazine hidden under the bedclothes. Muzzlem women`s nugatory appearance is a manifestation of misogyny, which has nothing to do with notions of God being masculine. It`s woman hatred, and it`s institutionalized itself behind notions of God and so-called morality that exclude even the basics in understanding adultery, which is that the human futanarian species of `woman`s seed` is adulterated by men born of their fertilization of women, while keeping women`s fertilizing of women taboo. That`s why newspapers, like the February 2009 Arab News` report, `Reconsidering Underage Marriage`, depict Yarubeans` problems with paedophilia, which is effectively a desire by adults to prevent women`s race from progressing. At a court hearing, fears for a young dowried girl in a marriage with a much older man were aired, `… the  judge merely made the old pervert promise not to rape his child bride until she was 18.` Misogyny is a hatred of endeavor per se; of the developing image: a media society disease called pictophilia. Misogynists hate birth; creation, and art. Anything emergent from mother nature is hated. Pop music purveyors Dire Straits` ‘Money for Nothing' (1985) was a #1 misanthropic video tirade instrumental in making Music Television (MTV) hugely successful at a point in time when the company was on the verge of financial ruin:


`The little faggot with the earring and the makeup,

Yeah buddy, that's his own hair;

That little faggot got his own jet airplane;

That little faggot he's a millionaire.`4



 Cartoon images of misanthropes engaging in `queer bashing` boosted audience figures and MTV was a success. According to the Boble, `faggots` are dead wood bound for hellfire, and the term is used as a euphemism for homosexuals. The Dire Straits` lyrics are self-parody. You`re hated if you have long hair, because you look like women to misogynists. However, if men are to be born of `woman`s seed`, hatred for men who are presented as looking like women by misogynists is understandable. Misogynists hate women, and don`t want men to be born. It`s an alien position. Preferable is, `These Dreams` (1986) from Nancy and Ann Wilson`s more human Heart, `Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away.`5 Waking life is a nightmare for women`s species; without imagery to support their species` independence as producers of human brainpower from their own `seed`.



 In the Yarubean countries you hear stories of young women being found in rubbish bins, because their families no longer wanted them; or the unborn child (50/50 it`s a girl) they were carrying. In China they throw girls away as soon as they`re born, and in the Indian subcontinent too. It`s an old story. In the Greek myth of Chronos and Rhea, the mother of creation, Rhea, has all of her children devoured by her spouse, Chronos, because he sees them as a threat to his own existence. Though admiring of women`s success, there`re misogynists who don`t. Miley Cyrus` TV character, Hannah Montana, was a pop music sensation. However, Miley was vilified in the press by what were essentially child-molesting journalists, which the song, `Bang Me Box`, indicates adversely affected her personality, `You say it tastes like cake with my lips against your face. I want you to eat it baby.`6 Paedophiles effectively kill stars who`re developing, which is Cyrus` story; either succumb or resist being infantiled.



 When are we going to be allowed to grow up? As an English language teacher, dealing with the paucity of a genuine desire to learn is par for the course. We`re effectively only training their passport control authorities to ask, `Who are you and where are you going?` Or we`re training our visitors to other countries to recognize the moment when they`re being asked to hand over their passport. Apart from that, it`s `How much?` Hating driving pedal cars, for grown ups sex is what it`s about. Pedaling on the treadmill isn`t productive of brainpower. Put behind cars and ritually slaughtered over a lifetime, sexual reproduction and brainpower would else interfere with the slave traffic kings.



 Each decade produces `classic` pop phenomena; for example, The Sex Pistols (1975-), a not inapposite name for a band representing the anarchic aspirations of `God Save The Queen`, `… she ain`t no human being.`7 To some it`s self-evident: racism has many forms. Fears are of a race war between men and women. It`s a feature of one of the most popular film series, beginning with the first Scream (1996), that women are murdered alone, while the audience jeer their deaths, and cheer on the murderer, `Ghostface`, who appears wearing what looks like a burkha. The Sex Pistols` name acknowledged the race war.  Misogyny feigns inaction, while women and `woman`s seed` are victimized: it`s a coward`s bastion.



 Practice diplomacy in the classroom. Politeness is the key to employability. Stud`nts reveal themselves to be representatives of Al Qaeda daily, `What are the British and Americans doing in Jakarta?` I have no idea. I didn`t know there was a Jakarta. Told not to talk politics by the Syrians, all probings extraneous to the learning of grammar and structure are turned aside with the agility of a sword fencer. Every stud`nt project is about the indubitable excellence and virtuousness of President Al Bashar, and one`s knee jerks responsively. However, having to be polite all the time leads to concealed irritation and anger at the ridiculousness of people pretending Sheikhdom on themselves. One is literally expected to treat them as sheikhs of Yarubeer because the fear is that, if not, they`ll stop paying and leave us with empty classrooms. With one`s genuine anger at being made to ingratiate yourself, there`s the fear that shouldn`t be yours: the fear of management. Having had had discussions with managers who see the situation clearly, they call the stud`nts `idiots`, and condemn them outright for an inability to open their ears; or pick up their pens. However, management`s fears communicate themselves to the teacher, who actually doesn`t care, and shouldn`t, because EFL teaching is simple for all parties to the equation; learn. However, anger veiled by politesse is due to feelings of terror in the teacher at the prospect of losing their tenure; if a client doesn`t like the tone you used that morning when explaining, `British isn`t a country.` `No, it`s a vegetable,` replies the always reliable Awag Mumumzed.



 What to do in your free time? The women are veiled from head to foot in thick black opaque material, so arranging a date is rather more a task for Strategic Air Command (SAC 1 or 2) than a palm with a `phone in it. Local entertainment, where I invariably reside, consists of listening to prayer call five times a day at regularly spaced intervals, and once a week taking my shirts to the nearest laundry. You find yourself veiling your eyes, because the direct gaze of men is troublesome after a while. The absence of women often results in compensating by refusing direct eye contact with males. Remembering the women you`ve have been with is an everyday part of your survival program. Otherwise you lose separateness and individuality; becoming not a man: but rather men. The concept of `brothers` in the `Slammer` is okay; if you can afford a wife. However, it`s a vehicle for homosexuality; misogyny, and race hatred: if you can`t. In a men only society, women are neutralized. A man, Mr Tombe, was caught having sex with someone else`s goat; so the local Muzzlem Sharia court ordered a dowry of $50 to the owner, Mr Alifi,8 while Mr Tombe had to marry the goat. In misogyny and woman hatred, a goat is preferable.



 Remembering through the love of women is ancient. Amongst the Egypt Johns, there`s the myth of Ra, Osiris, Horus and Isis. Ra is the sun god, and his lifespan is symbolized by the setting of the sun. Osiris is the newly risen sun, and his life cycle is symbolized by the cycle of spring; summer; autumn, and winter. In the myth Osiris is dismembered by the evil god, Set, a metaphor for the `TV set`, who`re men and women that, through the denial of women`s sexual reproduction of human brainpower as a separate species of futanarian `woman`s seed`, manufactured the race as a single male brained creature wearing each other’s clothes as a transvestite for `TV war`. Consequently, the evil god, Set, is depicted throwing the parts of Osiris` body to the four corners of the Earth. However, Isis, the mother-sister-wife goddess, recovers the parts, and breathes life into Osiris` resurrected body through the penis she has made after the irrecoverable loss of his own member: it’s how `woman`s seed` remembers mankind in heaven.



 When women`s brainpower affords escape from Earth, men will be born among the colonized planets and stars. The Crushteen paedophile parallel is She’sus, who promises eternal life to those who believe in escaping the mousetrap. In Yarubeer, memories of past lives came into focus, and the contemplation of vast expanses of lived-in time. Gazing not at the pupils of men, but inwardly at the eternal woman, she represents freedom from torment; Resurrection through `woman`s seed` and Ascension. Finding time to lie on my back and look up at the stars in heaven, myriads upon myriads of silvery jewels sparkling in midnight blackness; heaven beckons: like a woman. Remembering in Yarubeer, a woman`s eyes are stars in the darkness of her burkha: reflecting a promise of ineffable contentment.


1 Mariah Carey `Touch My Body`, E=MC2, Island, 2008.

2 Dejevsky, Mary `Prince Harry Called A Fellow Soldier His 'little Paki friend', Independent, .

3 Gilbert, Sandra, and Susan Gubar Madwoman In The Attic, Yale University Press, 1979.

4 Knopfler, Mark, and Sting `Money For Nothing`, Dire Straits, Brothers In Arms, Vertigo, 1985.

5 Page, Martin, and Bernie Taupin `These Dreams`, Heart, Heart, Capitol, 1986.

6 Cyrus, Miley `Bang Me Box`, Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz, RCA, 2015.

7 Cook, Paul Thomas, Stephen Philip Jones, John Lydon, Glen Matlock, and Johnny Rotten ‘God Save The Queen’ The Sex Pistols, Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols, Virgin, 1977.

8 `Sudan Man Forced To `Marry` Goat`, BBC News, Friday, 24 February 2006, 17:37 GMT, .

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