Barack, Obama `Presidential Speech`, January 22nd, 2013

27/02/2013 08:43

Barack: `We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense.  And for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken - you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.`1


Hungarian: `Yo Barack!`2


1 `Barack` means `peach` in Hungarian. `Yo Barack!` is `Nice peach.`


2 Obama, Barack https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/president-barack-obamas-inaugural-address


The TEFL`s Screw

28/01/2013 19:16

The TEFL`s Screw


 Having spent almost twenty years teaching English as a foreign language, which is obviously `the work of the TEFL`, I`m not perturbed at the notion that my footsteps are devilled by employers and stud`nts alike. Of late, I`ve spent time in Pseudi Yarubeer at the `best Universe City in the Muddle East`, according to experts, where the examiners are told not to mark the papers for the English writing exam, but simply to give the examinee a grade for the number of words committed to their respective examination sheet.




 Out of a highest mark of five, it`s still possible for the scribbler, who writes thirty words or less, to receive one and pass; even though the number of required words is one hundred and fifty. Consequently, only those stud`nts who are unable to encompass the task of writing their own name in English, which for many of them fortunately runs into double figures, can fail. However, the likelihood is that the teacher will pass them anyway; having understood the intentionality of the marking system in its fulsomeness.



 With Edchuk NeX-spurts from the USA, the Upright Product Management Effluvium`s red; orange, and green `traffic light` system of teacher evaluation, or `GRO`, was favoured. Flown in from places as far distant as the beaches of Copacabana, in Brazil`s Rio De Janeiro, speakers on all things TEFL-ish gesticulated ferociously at incomprehensible diagrams, and crucial scrawling on projector screens, while the TEFL`s crew snored or phoned home; to alleviate their distressed minds with dreams of more tranquil planets.



 Almost every other day professors and ELT research scientists winged their way to Riyald to vociferate droningly on the best professional method of inculcating the usage of countable nouns and time words, while the TEFL`s crew endeavored to remain ignorant of what their already overloaded brains quite rightly advised them would be impractical wisdom with stud`nts whose preferred mode of English language learning was to spend the entire lesson watching the talent contest, Yarubean Star. On one occasion the lesson observer appointed by the SUK, which is the acronym given to the most adorable University in the region, gave our man at the front a written warning for encouraging the stud`nts to listen to Western music on the strength of the visibility of a Sony Walkman`s headphones peeking out of the educator`s shirt pocket.



 Back at the SUK in the mornings, the TEFL`s crew were required to engage their attention with more professional development seminars in the afternoon. The usage of colored crayons and coloring books in the teaching of vegetables and fruits; for example: or the essentials of dress code. All Western teachers were required to wear suits and ties, or the traditional one piece Yarubean male garment, which looks like the nightshirt modeled by wee Willie Winkie in the children`s nursery rhyme, `Are all the children in their beds, it's past eight o'clock?`1 The `thob` comes in a white range of white colors, and can also double as a dressing gown, which fits in nicely with the lack of adequate bathing facilities provided for the average Westerner, who is likely to have a faulty shower unit blossoming sand, rather than a proper bathroom, and so an every wear garment tripling as pajamas is essential Yarubean chic.



 Most of the TEFL`s crew are innocent creatures that have never used a dry cleaners, but the secret to Yarubeer is pay what they ask, which is only one or two Pseudi Riyals for a suit jacket`s cleaning; for example, and next day service is assured. Earning 3,000 US $ each month at the SUK, I could afford to wash the whole of Yarubeer`s laundry every month, and still have enough left to buy a Mercedes. Naturally, the mean and evil governments, who`d sent the TEFL`s crew to Yarubeer as a part of their quasi para-military `initiative tests` to see if we could `survive in the desert`, would want us to iron our own shirts as a sign of future abilities in the areas of helicopter or jeep maintenance, and the hotels always thoughtfully provide an ironing board and iron. However, only a naïve fool would use them, because if you traveled further back in time they'd show you the well, and where to batter your shirt on the cobbles. The hotels actually provide laundry service, but they`re not dry cleaners, so it`s simpler to give all your laundry to the experts, and save yourself the bother of figuring out who has your socks.



 A euphemism for a homosexual, an ‘iron’ is also a euphemism for a gun, so it’s logical to assume that 2 + 2 = 4, that is, homosexuals are death, which was borne out in the late 20th century when Dr Congo discovered that a ‘biological weapon’, HIV/AIDS, had been launched by homosexuals in Afreecar mixing blood, shit and semen in each others’ anuses. The ‘incurable killer disease’ originated with the monkey fuckers as SIV1, and its sterilization factor was transmitted to humans by the killers. As the arms of the armed homosexuals are their armies, so the iron, board, and shirt are symbolic of plague aims. Killing the human species of ‘woman’s seed’, because it won’t accept that it’s an ass, the board where the shirt’s ironed is a euphemism for the shirt-lifters’ plague game. Homosexuals’ deploy HIV/AIDS as their ‘biological weapon’, because they’re the killers of the human species.



 Having received a written warning for visibly owning a Sony Walkman, nothing less than red for the UPME teaching evaluation was expected: a fail. This, despite attending UPME’s interminable night scenes at the Riyald hotels, where on stage purveyors of the TEFL`s esoterica sought to inveigle my interest in inscrutable methodologies. On the days following madcap nightly jaunts to hotel pedagogy, it was mandatory to be seated in vast lecture halls auditing seminars on the color of plums in comparison to grapes, and whether or not it were wise to teach stud`nts that grapes could be both plum colored and green, because plums were green before they were plum.



 A plethora of workshops abounded in chiaroscuros of fiendish TEFL details for dealing with stud`nts needs. From advising them how to book into a hotel, using up to the minute HD video role play on hideously expensive smart boards with inbuilt CD consoles, or listening to high definition Scots’ burrs,  saying ‘nae’ and ‘keds’ for ‘no’ and ‘trousers’, and Irish brogues enquiring ‘to be sure’ of Pokistan’s Slammabadass taxi drivers how much it would be indeeding to take them to the Hotel Indeeding, and where presumably there`d indeeding be a convention for stud`nts of the TEFL, who were concerned with how to get an orange indeeding out of the teacher, rather than give the needy beggar an apple. Teachers who attended the nearly nightly hotel gatherings, and the following morning`s seminars and workshops, did so because of the points they needed to accumulate for their success in professional development (PD, an acronym for paedophile). The teachings of the TEFL were incidental to the main action, which was points` accumulation. Those teachers who didn`t attend would be red as failed, while those teachers who did stay the marathon course of ennui at the hotels, and at the nasty SUK lectures and seminars, would be orange if they hadn`t had a successful `lesson observation`, which would make them green.



 Receiving a printed document conferring orange status, the teacher was effluenced anyway, because of a non-lesson observation or `buzz` in which the `Muttawah`, that is, the Pseudi religious policeman and state sponsored terrorist masquerading as a member of the administration`s staff, doggedly said he thought I might have been listening to the Sony Walkman he could see poking out of the pocket of my shirt, and which could have had a contaminating effect upon the dog-ends of the stud`nts` thob story, and who only needed a flat sailor’s dress cap to exactly resemble the hero on the Player’s Navy Cut pack of cigarettes men smoke in celebration of the stubbled extinction of the penis’ semen of the human futanarian race of women, which they’ve killed to be men with each other in action adventure flicks with chicks who’ve no cocks, while the censor dictates that the men dress like the butt ends of cigs, so emphasizing the reason for the women not having any penis semen of their own to produce brainpower: instead of a joke butt.



 What men mightn’t have understood is that the balls of the women are now theirs, which makes of men a perfume stand. The Yarubeans’ censer is a Mabkhara, which is named for Queen Mab, the Irish fairy, ‘to be sure’, who’s Romeo’s psyche in English playwright William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet (1591-5), a drama in which Juliet is killed by Romeo. Although it’s presented as a tragedy unforeseen, all of the actors in Shakespeare’s time were men, because they’d effectively killed all of the women for their parts.



 Before She’sus was killed by the Romans, he was being anointed by a woman with the expensive perfume, ‘spikenard’ when Chewedass, his disciple, raised his traitor’s ‘spy canard’, which was that the perfume should be sold to raise money. Perceiving that Chewedass meant that the woman was perfume to him, She’sus said: `Leave her alone.’ (Mk: 14. 6) As the child of his mother, the Virgin Mary, She’sus was ‘woman’s seed`, so he wasn’t a perfume stand, or Mabkhara, that is, he wasn’t a man with the balls of the women he’d stolen them from so that he could savor the smell of her species’ extinction in his nostrils.



 Although it’s traditional for the women to wear the burka in Yarubeer and elsewhere, they were originally poison. In England’s February 1852 satirical journal, Punch, a cartoon of a woman as a skeleton in a ball gown appeared, ‘Arsenic Waltz`, while the British Medical Journal observed, ‘Well may the fascinating wearer of it be called a killing creature. She actually carries in her skirts poison enough to slay the whole of the admirers she may meet with in half a dozen ball-rooms.’2 The original model for the burka was laced with poison, so that the smell of corruption would sweeten the air, and it was within the ‘towers of silence’ that corpses were taken for carrion birds to eat. In Yarubeer, the ‘bird women’ or gharaniq were ‘goddesses’, because their intercession was sought by women who didn’t want to be carrion, ‘Have you thought of al-Lāt and al-‘Uzzá and Manāt, the third, the other?’3 The Mabkhara, a symbol of men’s being converted into a perfume stand, so that their women’s balls could be a smell in their nostrils, after the human species of ‘woman’s seed’ was eradicated, symbolized the spirit of an alien racism, which reached its apotheosis on September 11, 2001, when the terrorist group, Al Qaeda, hijacked civil airliners to crash into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, so symbolizing the profit’s a cent in the perfume war of ‘rough trade’, where the stench of homosexuality in pederasty for war against ‘woman’s seed` is a scent preferred for God’s nostrils.



 As John Lennon observed, in his 1972 ballad, ‘Woman Is The Nigger Of The World,’4 The smell of women’s appropriated balls in their nose is how men extinguish romantic humanity’s Mab psyche, ‘…she gallops night by night through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love …’ (I, iv, 71-3) Conceived as a tower, the Mabkhara censer, which stands atop Yarubean tables, symbolizes the destruction of the Twin Towers of New York’s World Trade Center, when the terrorist group, Al Qaeda, used planes as missiles to promote the Qerash, that is, the ‘war tribe’ of the Brafit M’mumhad, which the planes crashed into the Two Towers were meant to symbolize, so making them the twin Mabkhara of the human race of ‘woman’s seed’, and precipitating another war of cremation against her ashes and its remnant: ‘The dragon was wroth with the woman and went to make war against the remnant of her seed.’ (Rev: 12. 17) Although Mabkhara are ‘Slammeric, in the pre-Slammeric Umpire of the Persian Sassanids, the ‘towers of silence’ were where corpses were eaten by carrion birds. Consequently, the hijacked planes crashed into the WTC were meant by the terrorists to be perceived a manifestation of the Al Uqab, that is, ‘the warbird’ of the Qerash, because homosexuality’s misogyny wanted women’s voice to be silenced, rather than that the bra fit M’mumhad. The ‘bird women’ or gharaniq were cranes, so the destruction of the World Trade Center was an assault upon the cranes of the Original Builder, ‘Hurrah nigger!’ Women’s a scent was assured by the smell of war in the nostrils of God.



 The SUK Yarubeans looked like fifty year old trainees for the torture chambers, and spent most of their time watching Turkish belly dancers on You Tube; if I didn`t ask them to do some more strenuous exercises from their dog-eared copies of the Muttawahed Intochains coursebooks in which all of the women looked as if they’d had candyfloss of different colors slapped on their heads, because Muzzlems insisted they wear headscarves, and that they resembled dogs even if they weren’t. The rationale is ancient Egypt John, where Anubis was the dog-headed god of the dead, so only the women’s eyes can be seen looking out of their burkhas. They’re a ‘doggy bag’ representing scraps of meat bred from the ‘remnant’ of ‘woman’s seed’  for the Muzzlems to eat as burger; if it’s time for a meal according to the Muttawahs. According to ancient Egypt John religion, the sun god Ra incarnated as Osiris, who was dismembered by the god, Set, who despatched the pieces of Osiris to the four corners of the Earth where Isis, the goddess, remembered them. As Osiris’ penis couldn’t be found, Isis gave him anew, and Osiris was resurrected as the ‘sky god’, Horus, who was thus conceived, She’sus-like, as ‘woman’s seed’.



 In the UPME `traffic light` system of evaluation, it would have been `green for go` if I`d had a `lesson observation`, rather than an unofficial ad hoc `buzz` that had no actual significance other than to give a zealot an opportunity to terrorize a Westerner practicing as a professional TEFL teacher. The devil didn`t want teaching. Of course, whether I was a professionally teaching TEFL, or a teacher of TEFL`s, is a largely irrelevant course of speculation. I was a TEFL at the SUK, and a `red TEFL`, according to some who thought I was Matt, although there wasn’t any snow.



 In the final analysis it`s about non-human behavior, and human behavior and activity. In Misery (1990) actor James Caan’s character, Paul Sheldon, was tied to a bed and tortured by actress Kathy Bates in the role of Annie Wilkes, a nurse tried formerly for infanticide. In The Accused (1988) Jodie Foster’s character, Sarah Tobias, was brutally raped.  Neither would qualify as human behavior. 9/11 was condemned on the basis of its inhuman character, but that`s what the USA`s 'Babylon', district of Hollywood movie capital, Los Angeles, California, promulgates. In Yarubeer, cities like Riyald were built on deserts in which water was at a premium, because it was the basic prerequisite for life. However, the shops close five times each day, so that water can`t be had. So, why did they build the cities? To deny themselves water? Even during prayer times, water is freely available in the desert at oases, but never in the classroom, which suggests that inhuman behavior such as that experienced on 9/11 is consequential to what society promulgates.



 At Riyald’s Jizzy Ra - Ugh! ‘ad me –a colleague was sacked for applying the `no water in the classroom at any time’ rule. Another was highly valued, because he let the stud`nts have cake and coffee, while they were sitting their diploma exam. In human terms, he was correct. However, the dismissed teacher applied the rules. Being raped, or having one`s legs broken, as happened with Sarah in The Accused and Paul in Misery, serves to illustrate the inhuman to the audience, but the demons of 9/11 demonstrated that inhuman is what viewers are, and that`s what they`re encouraged to be. The treatment of Westerners in Yarubeer is inhuman, because the planetary valence is no longer supportive of the human, but rather favors inhumanity and evil.



 Apply for employment in places where the people are desperate, because of their totalitarian governments, a curriculum vitae (CV) is demanded. It details life`s history since childhood. Passport details are requested. They include information about where the English applicant was born, and who his/her closest contacts are; just in case of emergencies. Sometimes a photocopy of the back page of the passport is required; containing ‘emergency numbers’ of close family, or associates, and that’s before the application form is complete. The CV must contain all of the skulls attended, and other places inhabited, or habitable.



 Born in the parish of Norden, Milton, North Yorkshire, near Yuk, and living in the town of Spocklingon, where Starfleet primary skull was, `junior` skull was at Muckfield in Birdlingtown, while High Skull was Wyvernsea, so named for a species of dragon, a Wyvern. Resigning a commission with the crew of the  Squirrel Nutkins starship and transferred to Saff Olderdress High Skull in Hedgludon, near 'Ull, Collage of Higher Head Chuck Occasions beckoned, while Wide-Open-Beaver was the new demesne, and 'Ull Universe City would conclude the list, while the transportee resided in ‘Ull.



 Obtaining a Trinutty Collage, London TOSALL certificate with Eurasian Transportees Commuted (Sentences), ETC., etc., in 'Ull before being sent to Hungry five years after the So Feareds left, time was spent time in Poe-Land`s Lęgpork at the SLOTH grammar skull for delinquents, while Lech Walesa was being deposed as a political force, and Ochyagibberin in Bashyourears’ `wolf`s head` new former So Feareds Republic, while the So Feared Union was being replaced by the Rushon Federation. Before leaving ‘Ull, exposure to desperate refugees from Yucanslavere during ‘teacher training’, canalized an impulse to gush over students in a `very friendly` way. Of course, they were Crushteen paedophile and Muzzlem militia, who were used to terrorizing each other with throat-cuttings, which assisted nicely with the canalizing.



 Employees in war zones are notorious for explaining that the stud`nts, and others to be unfortunately met with, have nothing in their hearts but love. Bashyourears is a volatile mixture of Crushteen paedophiles and Muzzlems, and the necessity for `cultural sensitivity` towards them is inculcated in the TEFL professional like the Boble. Because they kill you if you aren`t polite: and even if you are. I was training male army nurses to communicate in English at the Konk Abbad Aziz Hospital (KAAH), a big nose on wheels inside the Konk Carlid Military City. Konk Carlid, of course, was another big wheeled nose in Pseudi Yarubeer`s Dalek on 9/11, where all end djinns were needed by actress Gwyneth Paltrow in her role as comic book Marvel superheroine, Pepper Potts, during the second Golf war (2001-12) fighting stark naked alongside actor Robert Downey Jnr as Tony Stark, that is, superhero Iron Man, `… I feel like I`m going to catch on fire spontaneously.`5 Although djinn, and the end of the djinn, are something that the Yarubeans believe themselves expert in, because God is described by their Gran as being displeased with a Shaitan djinn, Iblis, who refused to bow to Adam and Eve, the djinn are depicted as being a race closely related to humanity and created by God from ‘cold fire’, which is how Stark describes the spontaneity of his own genius.


 A djinn is represented in the 8th century collection of tales, 1001 Nights, as emerging, after an oil lamp is rubbed, to perform miracles and grant wishes. In ‘Aladdin’ the wife of the owner of the lamp, Aladdin, is tricked by a pedlar crying, ‘New lamps for old!’ She exchanges the lamp with the djinn for a lamp without, which is reminiscent of the Yarubeans’ exchanging their old way of life for the engine of the car fueled by petrol, which produces carbon monoxide poison, rather than djinn. Consequently, the djinn’s end is linked to the engine. Why that’s so is because men and women aren’t the human futanarian species of ‘woman’s seed` to which the djinn approximate, that is, war is the sign of a species poisoned against itself by the adulterate of the ‘serpent’s seed` of host womb slaving by men. In 1001 Nights the djinn are associated with marvels such as flying carpets, because cars flew for the futanarian race of humankind, whereas slavery doesn’t want liberty. In short, the engine symbolizes the djinn’s end, which is humanity’s extinction, because it didn’t care for any intelligent species it didn’t perceive as its own. The warmth of human sexuality lacking from the picture painted by men, because there isn’t any ‘woman’s seed’ in it, corresponds to the ‘cold fire’ of the birth of the djinn. As She’sus’ Resurrection and Ascension to heaven prefigures the rebirth of humanity through ‘woman’s seed`, so the ‘cold fire’ of the djinn corresponds to almost extinct human futanarian sexuality, which produces genius, but the engines of the slaving ‘serpent’s seed` of men produce war, plague, famine, and death, which is genius’ end.



 As `djinn` is a truncation of ‘machine’, which is a variant of the Chewish, ‘Meshiahn’, so She’sus, who was ‘woman’s seed`, and Meshiah (Messiah), was a djinn. As Pepper Potts and Iron Man correspond to the pots that pepper, that is, the tank engines, so The Djinn is the Marvel comic book hero of ‘Terror!’,6 because 9/11 precipitated the engine war for petroleum, which confirmed men’s homosexual teleology of extinction, that is, She’sus is the end djinn, whose teaching men have to accept, or ‘woman’s seed’ will remain cold.



TV’s Dalek was the ‘pepper pot’ of the BBC scifi series, Doctor Who (1963-), and symbolic victim of the thalidomide drug manufactured from 1957 by the German company, Chemie Grünenthal. Enemies of the blonde Thals of the planet Skaro, who didn't want the darker peoples to be tall, nuclear bombs and radiation fallout ensured that the Kaleds would be born with phocomelia, that is, without arms or legs, so resulting in their inhabiting the vengeful Dalek machines, ‘Exterminate!’ Symbols of women imprisoned by the slaver drivers of their wheeled chairs, the Daleks were the end djinns under the hooded lids of the Thals; imprisoning slaver drivers of ‘woman’s seed’ pressed into service as brains being knightly tortured by suits of armor. The Levant war, starring metal elephants, after elevenses in September, 2001, were an opportunity for an evil pogromer to use elephant guns with djinn-inside tanks with the `lids shut down, while the talls looked down on them from a great height; pots peppered, and Iron Man flew at them in his powered suit. The `lids wouldn`t be men, so the B1s of the talls dropped bombs on them for not trying.



 Despite receiving a certificate in 2001 from the North West Legged Forces Hospital (NWLFH) with a cross marked in the box indicating `excellent` service, return in 2003 was terrorized by a hospital librarian, a Western woman who accused me of looking at pictures of Crushdina Squealera on the internet. In Syria, unable to go ogle Squealera, I worked for All-Forit oil company under the gimlet eye of the ubiquitous political poster of dictatorships everywhere. President Bashar Al-Assad`s original family name of `Wahash` means `beast`, which identified him as at least a candidate for the `beast` of Revelation, although the New Intochains Toby cartoon, with his flares symbolizing his ball snorting activities, edged it. The picture of Bashar everywhere one looked in the city of Terrosaur was a sufficient explanation for the revolutionary fervor that gripped the country after the second round of the Crazy Golf War. ELT alphabet posters are preferred if Terrosaur is a reference to the ‘red dragon’ of Revelation, that is, the serpent, Satan, with wings re-grown, ‘The dragon stood before the woman who was about to give birth to devour her child the moment it was born.’ (Rev: 12.4)  As Adam and Eve were futanarian ‘woman’s seed`, Satan corresponds to the male species’ slaver, who had been a winged angel, that is, a terrosaur. The ‘serpent’s seed’ of the Mesozoic period of history ruled the Earth for 20 million years (248 m.a.) before hominids began to appear in the Jurassic period 220 m.a., which suggests that humanity is the slave of its male braining for war.



 The cavalier attitude that language providers and foreign governments have towards family is callous in the extreme. Working in places as diverse as Syria and China it never ceases to amaze that UK governments haven’t a qualm over seeing a sizeable proportion of its populace mapped and catalogued by foreign nations. As a ‘Babylon’ Hollywood `born in the spirit` Charismatic Crushteen paedophile since ‘95, when baptized and publicly blessed in a square of Hungry`s second city of Deepratson, it`s traditional for writers to change in accordance with the new perspective they have towards the west coast city of L.A., California state, U.S.A., where it’d be possible to hide a successful family away from the screws of the TEFL. Difficult to see who are the terrorists on-screen, and who’re the stars cleaning the bugs off your windows, screwing the juice out of the teacher is endemic, although the artist is still able to produce work of some originality:


Her Killers


The Giant chased itself about

As if it were a girl it clubbed with;

And the virus caught it

So it died:


Tho it couldn’t get to heaven

‘Cause it’d killed its ride.7


 At Rustidiq Collage of Appled Sciences in Omoan, a set of flash cards used since passing TEFL certification in February ’95 went missing. As a part of the project in obtaining the teaching qualification, it’d been kept for use with stud`nts of all ages. Its simplicity was its virtue; a simple series of pictures with the phonetic letters for the sounds that went with the pictures on the back of each card. Upon leaving Rustidiq it was discovered they were missing. Writing to the contracting Australian company, Thornwhores, a few items were returned from the allocated apartment, but not the flash cards. Imagine the surprise when the series of pictures and phonetics appeared on an Umbrage Universe City Press wall chart at Bull Skull for Languages in Triple ‘E’, Livya! Obviously, the TEFL`s screw was being turned on these thumbs.



 Contracting to work for Linguige Solubilities in London as `senior teacher`, there was a remit to teach, hire a secretary, and one or two other teachers, while stocking the shelves of the office in Buttapes, Hungry, at Grimoire Staveley`s Investment Cottage, with oodles of books and CDs on teaching English busyness. A few months of rising each morning at 6.00 am to begin plowing through the dozens of e-mails sent by the `line manager` in London with detailed instructions on comportment while jawing, the day was spent teaching, and its lunch hours at the local Libri bookstore.



 As stud`nts at Grimoire’s could only spare time in the early mornings or evenings, it was 6. 30 am until 10.00 pm each working day. In the evenings, and at weekends, prospective staff were advertised for. However, eventually the employers admitted they hadn`t permission to be a language teaching provider in Hungry. Their lack of certification from the authorities was no surprise, because their treatment of their `senior teacher` was inhuman. E-mail for a plane ticket back to England, in accordance with the contract, received no reply. Fortunately, Buttapes could provide immediate employment elsewhere. Cheerful ensconcement in Potty Street with Annuveskull resulted in classes for busyness at Fairy Head airport, and the skies beckoned.



 Doubtless invited by its owner, American porno star Koo Stark (naked), an interview with her awaited at Kuwait Universe City. Agreeing upon a sample lesson, staying was dependent on the dummy`s success. Though the dummy was performed, Koo was waiting to be cloned by Prints Sandy. Her scenes with Printers’ Leia had been cut from Star Wars: A New Hope (1977), although hopes remained of her appearing as an immortal animation in 2008’s Star Wars: The Clone Wars, which explained her ‘bi’ relationships with Prints Sandy and Printers’ Leia, for example. Accepting a post in Triple ‘E’, Livya, with Glubbles Knowledgeable Skull instead, at the end of the first week two gunmen demanding ‘police tariff’ were encountered downtown, where the coup had occurred that overthrew Prints Gadaffi. It was give her the money, or she’ll take away your life.



 Glubbles Knowledgeable Skull hadn`t even provided a key to the house shared with the other teachers. An invitation to work for 12 months in Dammam, Pseudi Yarubeer, had been declined in accepting the Livya position of short-term four months’ contract teaching. Arriving, Glubbles Knowledgeable was on half days, because of `internal examinations`. Normally, Skull opened at 8. 00 am, and closed at 1. 00 pm, but quizzes meant its finishing daily at 10. 45 am. A single month was the `probation period` for the accredited ELT professional, who was expected schizophrenically to believe he was either a probationary ‘trainee police officer’, or a ‘convicted criminal’ being given a probationary period outside the jail to prove his acceptability to society, since receiving the TEFL`s TESOL mandate to tease souls away from their owners on behalf of the devil. As Glubbles Knowledgeable Skull was about to commence a two week holiday, `probation` for the TEFL teacher would largely consist of wearing sunglasses that made the wearer look as little like Gadaffi as possible to avoid being criminalized further and so fail probation.



 Glubbles was in the grievous position of having to find their abducted Western European teaching professional something to do for a week before the hols that didn`t jeopardize the academic reputation of the kindergartners` study of Maximillians Seance and Meths levels 1, 2 and 3. After deciding one week of half days` teaching was `probation` enough to re-criminalize the old TEFL, Glubbles let him go at the end of a week that they’d decided to call an ‘interview’. Doshed up  with 350 GBP, it was an unmarked car to the airport in the full and certain knowledge that the Yarubeans were increasing their levels of terrorism towards the TEFL`s crew.



 Not only Yarubeans are terrorists to the crew. Lesson observations are rather a sore point, `Unfortunately, this lesson met the requirements required by Bull Language Skull` is one of my favorite ‘ob’ comments from Livya. Burt Squiggles had told Bull in 2011 it was a pity I was good enough. Shortly afterwards revolutionary fervor and bipartisan war broke out in Triple ‘E’, and on February 17th, 2011, freedom was declared. Almost two years later, the inaugural address of the more recent Livya leader, Ali Satan, containing the promise his government would `… give its utmost best to the nation based on the rule of law, human rights, democracy, rights, and the belief in God, His Brafit and a state based on [the `Slammer],`8 also told Britons to evacuate themselves from dangerousnesses in Bunghazi. Unfortunately, although I`d given my best and honored the contract, I was 1, 050 GBP short of enough bung to keep dangerous looking someplace else.


1 Miller, William  ‘Willie Winkie’, Whistle Binkie: Stories For The Fireside, 1841.

2. Matthews David, Alison ‘The Arsenic Dress: How Poisonous Green Pigments Terrorized Victorian Fashion’ https://pictorial.jezebel.com/the-arsenic-dress-how-poisonous-green-pigments-terrori-1738374597 , April 11, 2015, 11. 00 am.

3 An-Najm , ‘The Star’, Koran, 53, 19-20, 610-30 C.E.

4 Lennon, John, and Yoko Ono, ‘Woman Is The Nigger Of The World’, Some Time In New York City, Apple, 1972.

5 Downey, Robert Jnr as Tony Stark (Iron Man), Iron Man, Paramount, 2008.

6 Englehart, Steve, The Djinn in ‘Terror!`, Coyote, Vol. 1, # 9, Chapter 3, Marvel, 1983.

7 Bright, Robin ‘Her Killers’ in John Thiel (ed.) Surprising Stories, # 47, Oort Cloud Publications and VacHume Press, May 2008, https://surprisingstories.thiels.us/SSV47/HERKILLERS.htm .

8 https://www.embassyoflibya.eu/about-libya/ .

Can can

09/07/2012 20:52

Those who can can, and those who don`t want to teach.




01/06/2012 17:08

`Confusing, he says -`



`Shut up confusing!`

The Idiots and the Teacher

29/05/2012 11:47

An ice cream is given to three idiots; the first one makes a grab for it and misses; the second one lunges with both hands outstretched and also fails to make contact; and the third one with exaggerated care takes the ice cream and sticks it in one ear, saying: `Delicious.`


`That`s a terrible slur on handicapped people,` chorused Politically Correct and Politically Sound.


`You don`t understand,` said the teacher. `They`re not disabled, they`re idiots.




29/05/2012 11:14



There is no teaching;

there is only whatever

you can understand.


The Monkeys and the Man

10/05/2012 04:37

The Monkeys and the Man


A man picked an apple from a tree. Some monkeys were in the branches. `We`re training for the mountain,` said one. `There`s no fruit there,` said the man. `But it`s a high and great endeavour,` said the monkey. `No, it`s fruitless,` the man replied. `We like you,` the monkey asserted. `No you`re not`, said the man.



 After watching the monkeys for a while, `I have a teaching,` said he. `Some men murdered a man who told them to obey God. `Why?` asked a monkey climbing higher and stretching its fingers up through the leaves as if it would touch the clouds. `Obeying God is a higher and greater endeavour` said the man.



 The apes seemed to think about this for a while, and then one of them said: `What have you achieved?` I`m a man`, said the man, `I shall build a spaceship and travel to the stars with my woman.`



 The monkeys murdered the man. `We`ve climbed the mountain,` said one.  `Fruitless,` said another.  `Look!` said a third: `There`s  one more of the fools coming this way. Behave like monkeys. He won`t suspect a thing.` `Ape man,` said four.


Moral:  Don`t believe `others` are like you.1


1 Or  Don`t Sit Under The Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me (1941) by the Andrews Sisters, a `pop` version of The Long Ago by Thomas Haynes Bayly (1833) with the theme of deluded love: `Tho' by your kindness my fond hopes were raised, Long, long ago, long, long ago.` In The Monkeys and the Man  the delusion is manufactured by the man`s `fellow feeling` for other men. All of the characters are men in this anthropomorphic fable in the style of the great Ethiopian slave and teacher Aesop (c. 620-564). But, as in Eden, there`s only one man. The others belong to `the Ape of God` who, called Satan in the Bible, is the `beast` of Revelation (13. 18) `Yes,` said a fifth monkey: `He that has wisdom, let him have understanding, the number of the beast is the number of a man and his number is six hundred three score and six.` `Yes,` said a sixth monkey ...


Helping Students In Time

03/05/2012 22:22

Helping Students In Time


With time process words a simple rubric; Getting Up In The Morning, for example.


First I shower,  next I shave, then I dress, later I have breakfast, after that I get the car from the garage, and finally I drive to work.






first, next, then, later, after that, finally


The student can learn to communicate any series of events and, with two step time process words, the student can convey what happens in `between` time.


when, while, as soon as, after, during, before


I`ll pick up the children from school when it`s 5.00 o`clock.






After 4 o`clock, I`ll be going home on the bus.






 Using time process words, and two step time process words, students can easily build paragraphs in which they can describe any series of events taking place in time.


First I shower,  next I shave, then I dress. My wife gives the children their breakfast while I`m dressing. Later I have breakfast, after that I get the car from the garage, and finally I drive to work.  Before I arrive at work, I listen to the news on the radio.


 Teachers can present this simple rubric using the few time process words, and two step time process words, and drawings of the clock to indicate the passage of time. It`s a really effective way of getting the material across to the students. As an exercise the teacher can ask them to draw their own clocks and complete a time process words` rubric using two step time process words that refer to the time on the clocks they`ve drawn.


Burkhas at Macdonald`s

26/04/2012 16:02

Burkhas at Macdonald`s


Capitalism is possession, or what`s possessed by whom; which means that men are demons. The two great religious traditions that have genuine antipathy for each other are Islam and Hinduism. In Hindu belief the soul is a living being independent of the creature it is joined with. According to the Hindus, God is `Atman`, the emanation of which is visible to the individual living intelligence that`s the soul of the creaturely body, including the brain. `Purusha Atman` is the `Cosmic Man` through which the light, or intelligence of God, emanates, and is perceivable to the individual intelligence that`s the soul, but only partially or not at all to the mind and creaturely body, that is, the merely `vehicle` of the independent soul that`s able to perceive the cosmic intelligence of `Atman`. In Hinduism, it`s possible for the interchange, between soul and `Atman`, to raise the level of the creaturely body and brain, that is, the vehicle of the soul`s intelligence, so that the human can emerge from its occluded state and be guided to knowledge of  God.



 In Christian terms, the relationship between soul and `Atman` is the `spiritual tuition` of the Paraclete sent by God to Earth after men`s torture of Jesus by crucifixion. After Jesus` death, the Roman centurion Longinus, pierced the side of Jesus with a spear that was afterwards known as the `Spear of Destiny`  because it symbolically heralded the emergence of the Paraclete, or Holy Spirit, as `Second Eve`, from Jesus` side. Just as Eve, woman`s nascent knowledge of man, emerged from the side of the First Man or Anthropos, Adam, in Eden. Christ`s `teaching` is that, after his Resurrection and Ascension to heaven, the Paraclete will be the guide of mankind.



 In Islam, men wear the white one piece covering called the `thob`, whereas women wear the one piece black coverall called the `abiyah` or `burkah`. Because the soul is an intelligent emanation, or `light`, which has an interchange with the intelligent emanation or `light` that is `Atman` or God, the blackness of the abiyah suggests that the emanating light of the individual`s soul that lives as a separate sentient being is `hidden`.  However, black is the traditional colour of mourning, so the soul in Islam may be dying, and so what`s happening to it is being `covered up`. Because Arabian men wear white, the suggestion is that they`re alive, because they`re not darkened, or occluded.



  For Hindus, the soul`s to be understood as independently living outside the purview of the creaturely body and brain which, in human beings, is normally understood as individuality. In Hinduism, the independent soul has an educating relationship, as described in Jesus`s New Testament relations with God, that is, with the emanating `light` of the  intelligence of `Atman`, or God, from which the creaturely human body and brain of humanity remains occluded unless, as the Christians preach, human beings accept the `tutelary guidance` of the Holy Spirit. The absence of a relationship with the soul as `tutelary guide` is manifest in Islam by events similar to Saddam Hussein`s 1990 invasion of Kuwait and the 9/11 terrorist attacks upon the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre in New York in 2001. For those who believe that the creaturely body and brain is all that`s desirable to be known, the soul is to be killed as an unnecessary adjunct to humanity, indeed is already to be supposed dead, and the black abiyah of the Moslem women is a symbol of its continuing to be murdered.



Meat is Murder was an album of the pop group The Smiths featuring front man Morrissey in 1985. If the separate intelligent living individual soul is indeed being murdered so that the flesh of the human animal is all that remains, then it`s moot as to what a Burkha at MacDonald`s contains: meat.


Accuracy v fluency

06/02/2012 21:23

Accuracy and fluency


Teaching good English is the key to functional literacy. By this I mean what is necessary in terms of language in order to obtain our daily requirements.

The Englishman at home listens to his walkman, watches television, uses the internet, and says `Thank you` in the supermarket before he leaves with his groceries. He knows where everything is and doesn`t have to ask where the bus or the cinema is. He has an `environmental knowledge` and is `functionally literate`.

The English language student, on the other hand, needing a Headway textbook, has to know where the bus stop is to town; then the student needs the number of the bus; and when the driver tells them they have to have the correct change, the student has to go to the newsagents, and the person there tells the student that they have to buy something in order to obtain change - and then the student doesn`t receive the correct change needed for the bus and has to buy something more…

Knowledge of the environment is `functional literacy`. Good English is dependant on accuracy, that is, accuracy of approach towards what is needed, which is `fluency` in functional terms. But it means very little in terms of communication - other than Q&A and apposite vocabulary and grammar.

Being functionally literate in linguistic terms is both the bane and bonus for a student living in another country who has a conflict over whether they are there to function - or to work – because functioning is not working; it`s environmental acquiesence. If the environment wants more from us it`s called work.

The problem for ELT is that students think they want to work but prefer `functional literacy` because that is able to seem like work for them, whereas work is actually educative insofar as it is societal cooperation and, therefore, what the student really needs is to be parental and societal. To be a teacher is what they need to be but what they want to be is a child because they want to `play`, which is why they prefer `functional literacy` whereas they need `functional accuracy`.

Functional accuracy is `fluency` in terms of work, which is what we make language do. It works for us, and we work with it. Consequently, students begin with the achieving of functional literacy, which may be defined as Q&A. The ability to obtain one`s needs without work.

IELTS is a good example of the focus on functional literacy. There is no minimum passing grade and each institution sets a different level for success, which means literacy remains functional rather than the level of accuracy that is fluency (functioning as a doctor, lawyer, etc.).

Teaching good English is important because it`s necessary in order to obtain what`s required and even to give instructions, which is what employers are about; the need to have people understand you well enough to give them orders. Employers have to be functionally literate, whereas employees may need to have functional accuracy (those who prepare burgers in McDonald`s or the person who does your laundry).

The teacher-student relationship is that the students perceive themselves as the employer, and so don`t aspire to functional accuracy. It`s enough if the teacher accepts orders and the students learn Q&A. They don`t learn employability. They learn `employ` (the teacher), which is why they stop at functional literacy (giving orders and having questions answered). They don`t seek to be employees, and the teacher-student (employee-employer) relationship reinforces the perception that they don`t have to be employed, for example, in learning functional accuracy – fluency in terms of societal input (car mechanic, road sweeper, etc.).

The classroom environment sustains the perception that the students are employers (and some are), but functional literacy is the goal and not functional accuracy (becoming a civil engineer or a bus driver).

Teaching is in fact what students want to do. Because they want to raise a family. However, if functional literacy is the goal, work isn`t. The aim is `play`, that is, to learn Q&A and give orders. Working actually requires education, that is, `functional accuracy`, which is studying to achieve a level of knowledge useful for work - and family. But that requires teaching functional accuracy, which begins with good English and requires error correction at points decided upon by the teacher.

Error correction is the most difficult aspect of teaching, because it requires wisdom. When a student is attempting accuracy in terms of fluency he/she makes mistakes. If the student is to achieve fluency, mistakes have to be corrected. If not, students will repeat what they see as communicative. `I am go.` is comprehensible `pidgin` English but it isn`t more than functional literacy within the sphere of those who comprehend it.

What is understandable as `communication` can function as a virus. I may understand, but the group with whom I am interacting is the only group I can interact with. `I am going.` widens the pool of interactivity and more complex expressivity further widens my pool of experiential activity. But, unless, I am correct in speech, which only begins with functional literacy (Q&A and orders), I cannot achieve functional accuracy (politician, veterinarian, etc.). This is why correct speech and error correction is important.

Students want `bad words` and `idiom` as well as `slang`, but this is codification and not communication. If we want functional literacy, we want Q&A and orders. Functional accuracy is different. It`s communication in code. That which lawyers and doctors use, or that used by rap musicians and soccer commentators.

Language teachers correct in order to prevent a virus from replicating itself in a way that prevents functional accuracy from actualization. `I am go.` needs to be corrected to `I am going.` The notion that `bad` means `good`, which Michael Jackson popularized, only makes sense within a street culture that is delimiting in terms of functional literacy – because it isn`t accurate.

Functional accuracy is the teaching of good English in order to be useful in terms of work and family. Bad is not good because it`s functionally debilitating to assume so – it`s language as a virus, which the teacher removes by means of apposite error correction.

Inhabiting a different culture is simple. As an Englishman I can get by on `Thank you` (in terms of `functional literacy`). Education isn`t necessary in order to function. What you need is environmental awareness (where the bus stop is, or how much milk costs, for example) - and money.



Tel: 0036 70 5182849

Budapest, Hungary


Humanising Language Teaching


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